Harry Potter and the Elven Influence
by Findoras
Summary: Sixth year AU: Sirius is dead, the ministry has acknowledged Voldemort’s return, and the rift between Harry and everything around him deepens. Things are spinning out of control and many surprises are around the corner… Please R
1. The Root of all Evil

**Summary:**

AU: Sirius is dead, the ministry has acknowledged Voldemort's return, and the rift between Harry and everything around him deepens. Things are spinning out of control and many surprises are around the corner…..

**Note:**

This story is post-OoTP. It will cover the summer after Sirius' death and Harry's 6th school year. I may also extend it to include his 7th year, but I haven't decided. Not sure of the pairings yet. Harry will become involved with multiple girls/women, but will only ultimately fall for one. **This story WILL contain sexual content, so if you don't like reading sex scenes, don't fuckin' read the story. It will also contain violence and coarse language, so meh.**

----

**Chapter 1: The Root of All Evil**

"_The root of all evil has been running my whole life…" – Dream Theater_

----

_Thud._

Privet Drive was as normal as ever. No un-suitable neighbours, no unwanted criminals, and most importantly, no fucking wizards!

_Thud._

Well, except one.

_Thud._

Two days had passed since the Hogwarts Express had pulled up at the Kings Cross Train Station. And here he sat.

_Thud._

Harry Potter. The Boy-Who-Lived. Among other hyphenated bullshit names. He sat on his bed, in the smallest bedroom of Number 4, Privet Drive. His body was upright against the wall, and his head moved backwards and forwards gently, a small_ thud_ the result of a collision with the wall.

_Thud._

Harry blinked slowly as he realised the dull noises were coming from his head. He looked around in a haze, making sure there was no chance of anything else making the noises, then turned his gaze back to the nothingness he was staring at.

It had been less than a week ago when Sirius Black, Harry's godfather, had gone beyond the veil. Less than a week since Harry had slept. And less than a week ago since Harry had felt any kind of emotion.

Two days ago, after the train ride on the Hogwarts Express, Harry had arrived at King's Cross to see his Uncle threatened by Mad-Eye Moody. Harry's initial joy at such a form of entertainment had long since disappeared into simple apathy. The car ride home from the train station had been good for Harry. He had simply sat there; not seeing, not thinking and most especially not feeling. The Dursley's, in a surprising fit of realisation, had noticed something was different, and had left Harry alone. Thus, the entire car ride had been silent, and arriving home at Privet Drive had been even quieter, if such a thing were possible.

And now, two days later, Harry was sitting in the exact same place, doing the exact same thing, which essentially amounted to nothing.

Harry would've summoned the anger and self-hatred he should've felt at Sirius' death, if it hadn't been so much of a bother, but even that was beyond him. Images played out in front of his mind constantly; he saw Sirius falling through the veil, he saw Cedric's death and heard Voldemort's rasp _'Kill the spare!'_. He remembered Bellatrix and her taunts, and he definitely remembered Dumbledore's duel with Voldemort. But, it was just too much effort to find the emotions associated with each.

That was what bothered him; his complete apathy. It wasn't that he didn't want to grieve Sirius; it was that he couldn't. It was as though something was blocking it out.

_Thud._

Dimly, he noticed that his thumping head was back at it, and, blinking once again, decided to finally do something different.

"I need a walk," he murmured in a bored voice.

----

He had walked, and now he sat. However, it wasn't on the bed this time; it was on a swing set in the public park, about a half-mile from his relative's house. His relaxed posture resulted in him leaning to the left, and Harry could feel his ribs pressing against one the chains attached to the swing.

_Might have to do something about that,_ he thought as he lifted his too-large faded grey shirt and looked down. Yeah, his ribs were definitely visible. It was then Harry realised he hadn't eaten since Sirius had died. The images flashed once again, and Harry saw Bellatrix's triumphant face. For a second, an untameable range crossed his features before his gaunt face smoothed out and his eyes blanked once again.

_Seems like Bella is the only thing that gets me going…merlin, that's a sad thought!_

Harry's scar twinged. He ignored it, and boredom came to him once again. Harry had just pulled out his wand to polish on his dirty clothes when he heard a muffled crack behind him. Unconsciously, his body tensed, then completely relaxed again and he continued to sit there without a care in the world. Not even the voice behind him caused a visible reaction.

"Harry Potter," came the high-pitched, slippery voice.

Footsteps echoed behind him, and Harry slowly turned his head for a look at who his visitor was. He blinked, and for a split second, surprise showed on his features before it disappeared.

"Tom Riddle," he replied.

"Come now, Harry. It is Lord Voldemort." Harry watched as the red-eyed man walked up and stopped within two meters of him. His face was snake-like, his skin a sickly pale white, and he was as bald as a baby's arse.

"Cool," Harry said, his tone once again bored, and he deliberately turned his head back towards the front and lent once again against the chains of the swing, ignoring the seething wizard just behind him.

"Don't ignore me, Potter!! _**Crucio!"**_

A spurt of bright red flew straight towards Harry, sitting serenely on the swing. Harry merely sat there as the curse came close, as the curse hit….!!

Voldemort stared in shock as Harry didn't react at all to the cruciatus curse and the flare of red flew off at an angle before striking the wet grass of the park, causing a muffled sizzling sound. Harry blinked once again (he does that a lot, doesn't he!), and then gave a small chuckle.

"Well fuck me," he murmurmed. "I'll bet that's never happened before." He looked around and saw Voldemort's shocked face, as well as the still figures of three Death Eaters behind him. Harry gave them a grin, then focused on Voldemort.

"Have a seat, eh, Uncle Tommy?? You're too tense. Need to relax." Harry was nodding along with his assessment of the situation and then again faced forward, once again silent.

The gaping fish behind him stopped gaping, and Voldemort slowly moved forward and took a seat on the swing immediately to Harry's right. "Such a gracious invitation, Harry," Voldemort commented, trying to maintain some dignity after having one of his favourite curses fail completely. His tone had become smooth, as though trying to seduce Harry with words rather than intimidate him with pain and power.

Harry was silent. As always, it seemed.

"You know, young Harry, you and I are a lot alike. Both orphans, both unloved. Both _powerful_. You and I are one and the same. Wouldn't you say?"

Harry stayed quiet, contemplating what had just been said. "We are alike," he agreed. "But we're also different. I _am_ loved, you are not. I have friends, you do not."

Voldemort made an amused sound. "Not going to point out how I'm a Slytherin and how you are a fool-hardy Gryffindor?"

"I'm more Slytherin than you could possibly imagine, Tom." At that moment, Harry felt as though he spoke the truth and felt pleased when he heard Voldemort hiss at the name.

"That's not my name anymore," he snapped.

Harry just shrugged. "Just as I am Harry Potter, you will always be Tom Riddle to me."

After that, there was silence. Then Riddle spoke again.

"You know I'm here to kill you, don't you?" Harry thought Tom's tone was a little hesitant and confused at Harry's lack of response.

"Figured as much." His voice was deadpan. Then he turned to Voldemort, quite excited. "Hey, how about one last hurrah before death, huh? Conjure us up a bottle of Firewhiskey, what do you say?"

Harry's only answer was another incredulous expression.

"Pff, well, you're no fun," Harry pouted. His excitement had completely disappeared, and he was once again bored. It was at this time that Voldemort exploded.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, POTTER!?"Tom Riddle's temper had ignited, and he shot up in front of Harry and started pacing. "ARE YOU INSANE?! To sit there so calmly in front of the Dark Lord?!"

Harry just gave a bark of laughter. "Funny you should mention that. Kind of ironic, really."

"And how is that?" came the sarcastic reply.

Harry gave a long, drawn-out sigh. "Ah, well, it's just…. Well, _you_ spend almost five years trying to drive me around the bend, and none of your plans work. And then comes _Bella_, only a few months out of Azkaban, and in one fell swoop, she's got me completely broken. How is she, by the way?"

Harry had started speaking, a teasing grin on his face, and as soon as he mentioned _Bella_ his features had transformed into something almost insane. _Oh, how he wanted Bellatrix Lestrange_. A mad grin of revenge split his face, and he turned, finding himself staring intently into Voldemort's red eyes.

The mad grin left his face, however, when he felt subtle fingers clawing at his brain, and with a sigh, Harry broke eye contact and turned away. "Looking for something particularly, Tom?"

A shriek of rage came from next to him, and Harry's smile came back, only amused this time.

"_**Don't**_ call me by that name, Potter!"

Harry merely continued as though the outburst had never happened. "Looking for that prophecy, huh? Oh, yes," he continued once he saw the blind desire on Voldemort's face, "yes, Dumblenuts told me about the prophecy. Old man wouldn't tell me exactly how it was worded, but he did tell me it essentially comes down to you and me, huh? But then, you already knew that, didn't you?"

Harry once again felt claws on his mind, and he felt the need to brag, "You won't find it, Tom. It's not like you can read someone's feelings and thoughts if they don't think and feel." Harry was quite proud that his voice managed to come out quite condescendingly, like talking to a useless child. He was also quite happy to see that Voldemort believed that he didn't know the prophecy. His scar had begun to bleed, and a searing head-ache was pulsing its way around his brain. But still, he ignored it.

Harry noticed Voldemort was trying to restrain himself from lashing out yet again. His face was quivering with rage at being denied the knowledge he wanted more than anything and being spoken to in such a way. He eventually whirled and raised his wand. _**"Crucio!"**_

Harry gave a chilling laugh as he heard one of the Death Eaters behind him begin to howl and scream in pain. "Well, that works too." _This is fun_, Harry thought.

Voldemort brought his temper under wraps, and Harry got the feeling that play time was over. They were approaching the crux of the matter.

"Enough of this, Harry. It is time to conclude this meeting. You have a choice to make. You can join me, and we will be partners and rule this world. Or, you can die. Make your choice."

"Well, gotta say, the way I am right now, death doesn't really bother me that much, so have at it. As for joining you, well, that plan was shot to hell the moment you executed my family, so I can safely say I'll _never_ join you."

----

There was such conviction in his voice that Voldemort knew that death was the only answer. He pointed his wand at Harry, the killing curse on his lips…when he saw something spark in Harry's eyes….

----

Harry was thinking. You know, internally speculating or whatever that word was. He realised that there was nothing on this earth that could convince him to turn Dark and join Voldemort. Nothing at all. _There wasn't even anything on this earth that could even convince him to start living again_. The only thing he wanted was…..

The spark came into his eyes as he realised that there was something that Tom had that he wanted. And only Tom could give it to him.

The insane grin was back on his face, as he looked Voldemort square in the eye, ignoring the wand pointed at his chest and stated, "I will join you, Tom Riddle, if you give me Bellatrix."

Voldemort looked at him, as though measuring his worth, before replying. "And why should I give you Bellatrix? She is my favourite, after all."

"She may be your favourite, but she's not me. She's not your equal, and we both know that I am. So, Tom Riddle, you have a choice to make: your most loyal supporter, or your greatest ally?? Make your choice." Harry threw Voldemort's words back at him.

----

Harry waited patiently for Voldemort to reach his decision, and he found his breath hitching with anticipation as Voldemort finally spoke up.

"I will give you Bellatrix, Harry Potter, but only _after_ you have taken my mark."

Harry gave a fierce scowl that set the Death Eaters on edge. "That's not good enough," he growled.

"_That_ is the deal! Take it or leave it!" Voldemort hissed, his anger all too apparent.

Harry's scowl deepened. He wanted Bellatrix. There was nothing he wanted more, except perhaps to have Sirius back, but that was impossible. But was he willing to sell his soul for that bitch? Was he willing to become that which he hated most? But then again, he didn't really feel as though he had a soul at the moment, so… would it be worth it?

Harry's brain tossed backwards and forth between acceptance and rejection, before one side finally won out. "I'll leave it. That price is too high, even if it got me Bellatrix." He looked at the three Death Eaters before looking back at Voldemort. "We're done here, Tom Riddle." Harry's statement had a sense of finality to it, and he got up, turned and began to walk back to Privet Drive, effectively dismissing all of them.

"What's the matter, Potter?!" Voldemort spat at Harry's back. "Too much of a coward to take your revenge against her? Or _me_?"

Harry just kept walking. He stopped two steps later as Voldemort kept up the verbal assault.

"Always knew I made the wrong choice of the prophecy child. Too weak by far. You cannot hope to stand against the might of Lord Voldemort! Couldn't even defeat my Bella, even after she killed that mutt. A waste of Black blood, he was."

Harry felt something within him straining to break free at Voldemort's words and he felt something shift within him as his magical power began to surge. All of the anger and hatred that should have been present since Sirius' death was unleashed in a great tempest of rage, and Harry snapped.

"Tried to recruit him initially, but those forsaken Gryffindor ideals got in the way. Made him weak. And now he's gone and got himself killed, the stupid blood-traitorous filth-"

"_**CRUCIO!"**_

The three Death Eaters watched in horror, awe and amazement as their Lord was put under the pain curse and began to shriek.

----

Harry didn't care about using an unforgivable; he didn't care that his wand was monitored, or that he would now be expelled and forced to go to Azkaban. He only wanted to deal out as much pain and agony to the person who insulted Sirius. Tears dripped down his face as he advanced on the twitching figure of Voldemort.

"_YOU __**DON'T **__TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT!!!"_

Harry's teeth were clenching as the rage poured out of him, physically manifesting into crackling energy around his body. Eventually though, it dissipated, and the true weight of Harry's emotions finally hit him. Sirius was _gone! _He lifted the curse, and then simply turned and walked away, his shoulder's hunched, his eyes leaking salty tears. A broken man.

He didn't notice the rattling breaths drawn in by Lord Voldemort, still twitching on the ground. Nor did he hear the order Voldemort gave to the Death Eaters. He did however, hear himself give a muffled shout of pain as a cutting curse sliced into his arm.

----

Albus Dumbledore was not having a good day. He was currently standing in the expanded kitchen of Number 12, Grimmauld Place, London. The rest of the Order of the Phoenix were situated in various places around the room, having a heated discussion on many differing topics.

Dumbledore gave a sigh as he wished that for once something would go smoothly. But, it was not to be. Numerous Order members had given their reports, and while none were negative, neither were they positive.

He gave a loud call for quiet, then gestured to Severus to give what would be the final report for the evening. "Severus," he prompted.

Snape gave a sneer to the general populace in the room, before taking a step forward. His silky voice was in stark contrast to his greasy hair as he commanded attention from the entire room.

"In my previous report, I mentioned that Potter had previously caused the Dark Lord damage from his attempted possession. I can now confirm that this claim is true."

The room broke into excited whispers at the prospect of having a few weeks of relative quiet, but it was quickly broken up by Snape's next statement.

"Did you not hear me, you dunderheads? I said he _previously_ caused damage. The Dark Lord has since recovered as of two days ago, and has spent all his time in his room, receiving visits only from Wortail."

A harsh snarl from across the room drew everyone's attention. Remus Lupin was on feet, his eyes a molten gold as the wolf tried to gain release. "Wormtail!" he hissed. "What would that bastard have to report?!"

"I don't know werewolf," came the condescending reply. "As I was not privy to the meetings." Snape's voice became harsher towards the end of his sentence, giving the impression that he was not to be tested today.

Dumbledore cut across before the argument could go any further. "So, Voldemort is lying low for the moment Severus? He does not plan to take Azkaban anytime soon?"

"Not that I am aware of, Headmaster."

Albus gave a tired sigh before continuing. "Thank you, Severus. Does anyone else anything else to report? No? Then that is all for ton-" He broke off as a shrill beeping emerged from his pocket.

The whole room watched with interest as he pulled a small silver device from his pocket. Everyone became concerned as they saw a flash of confusion, followed by fear on his now pale face.

Albus raised his head and just looked at the Order members for a second, as though at a loss for words. After a few seconds he regained his facilities and began snapping orders.

"Kingsley, find Madame Bones. Now! Moody, go straight to Harry's house and see what you can find. We'll wait for you here. Go, now!!" Moody immediately ran out the door and promptly disapparated. (I don't remember if they can apparate/disapparate directly outta HQ - let's assume they can)

The rest of the Order stood confused, save Snape, who merely sneered. Molly Weasley voiced everyone's thoughts. "What is it, Albus? What's happened to Harry? Is he in danger? Where is he?!"

"Harry has used magic, Molly. I am unaware of the circumstances. Kingsley, you need to contact Madame Bones so we can give her a statement before Cornelius gets a hold of this."

Kingsley gave a nod of assent and then followed Moody out the door.

It was another tense minute or so where all the members speculated on what had caused Harry to use magic when Moody came stumping his way back through the door.

"He's not in the house, Albus. And Dung was asleep again. I couldn't find the boy, but I was sensing some magic a short way away."

Albus looked critically at Moody as his worry got the best of him. "Well why didn't you check it out, Alastor?!"

Moody swallowed and then continued bravely, "It was strong magic, Albus. Incredibly strong. I-I think it was _Him_!"

Molly Weasley wailed into her husband's chest as Dumbledore ordered them to get ready to move out to Privet Drive.

None of them would ever forget what they found there.

----

Harry felt the curse slash into him, and he felt the blood drip down his left upper limb. His quidditch reflexes immediately kicked in as he dived to the right, narrowly avoiding two more curses that sailed through the air where he used to be.

He gritted his teeth at the pain, but knew that he had to keep going. A small cut wouldn't keep him down. His dive moved him further away from the Death Eaters, and as he landed, he rolled with it, springing up, suddenly facing the black cloaked figures.

His wand, securely held within his right hand began spitting curses at an alarmingly fast rate. He knew that shouting his curses was as good as handing the bastards a list of every spell he was going to use, so he whispered under his breath.

"_**Stupefy.**__"_ His spell shot to his opponent on the left, and as he expected a shield sprang into existence and the spell came back at him. Harry, however, was already spinning away, then dropping down to one knee as he unexpectedly switched targets, throwing a heavily powered diffindo hex at the right-most figure. The man was caught off guard, assuming that Harry would continue an assault on his original target. The curse sliced into the man's shoulder and a large gash became visible. While he screamed, Harry knew the man would be significantly less of a threat compared to the other two.

He dropped from his knee, rolling over the grass, firing another stunning spell as he was in motion. Curses slammed into the ground behind him as his roll carried him behind the cover of a large tree trunk and Harry climbed to his feet, his wand at the ready. The smell of burning ozone told him how close some of those curses had come to hitting.

Adrenaline pumped his body as he sprang out, the disarming spell escaping his lips. His spell hit the left most figure and the man was blown off his feet, his wand flying back about ten meters as remaining Death Eater launched another curse.

Harry didn't recognise the spell that was coming at him, but it was neither the cruciatus curse nor the killing curse. He also realised that he couldn't dodge it in time, and threw up a shield.

"_**Protego!**_"

The sickly purple curse flew back at its creator, and Harry immediately launched an offensive. An orange wisp of light sprang from his wand and launched itself into the path of where the man had dodged to. He gave a cry as the ground beneath his feet became icy and he slipped over, hitting the pavement hard. Harry wasted no time.

"_**Expelliarmus!! Incarcerous!! Stupefy!!**__"_ Harry took a split second to notice that the man wasn't going anywhere before he turned his attention to the remaining two Death Munchers.

The man Harry had disarmed had just re-acquired his wand from the grass, and the man Harry had hit with the cutting curse was whimpering on the ground, clutching his arm. Obviously Harry had used a bit more power than he recalled.

Harry let a grim smile play across his face. _Two down, one to go!_

Harry had just raised his wand to stun the last Bucket Kicker when a savage shriek of "_**Crucio!**_" broke his concentration and a spell smashed straight into the side of his chest. Harry knew that knives should be under the power of the curse for a while, but surprisingly he only felt himself launched through the air as he met the ground in the middle of the street.

His breath rushed out of him and spots danced in front of his eyes. He was aware of a dulled ache on the back of his head and was pretty sure he'd smashed his head pretty hard against the road.

He willed the pain away as he realised that he had completely forgotten about Voldemort and the bastard must have recovered and circled around to his side. Using all his remaining strength, Harry raised himself up and managed to climb unsteadily to his feet. His blurry vision didn't show a promising sight. Voldemort was striding steadily towards Harry, the most inhuman rage suffused upon his face, as a small trickle of blood dripped from his lip.

"It has been a long time since I have felt the effects of that curse. You are strong, Harry Potter. But you're not strong enough."

The sickly green light of the killing curse sprang from Voldemort's wand at the same time as Harry's legs began to move. For the second time tonight, Harry dived out of the way. His roll hurt a lot more this time, being on the jagged edges of the road, and when he sprang to his feet his elbows were scraped and bloody. He faced Voldemort, and curses spat from both their wands.

"_**Crucio!**__"_

"_**Avada Kedavra!**__" _

As soon as he shot his spell, Harry whirled away to the side, his wand shooting spell after spell. However, his stunners, and his pain curses and his disarming spells were all dodged, blocked, or knocked aside.

As they moved and traded spells, Harry's already sluggish body failed him, and one of Voldemort's spells got through his defences. Harry screamed as knives assaulted his entire body. He could barely make out Voldemort's cruel laughter and his taunt through the pain.

"You seem to have developed a fondness for the cruciatus curse, boy. I thought I'd give you a taste." Another cold, high pitched cackle followed. Voldemort lifted the curse and sneered at Harry.

"_**Accio wand!"**_ Harry gave a shout of protest as his wand slipped hand and sped into Voldemort's. He watched as Voldemort's face lit up. "Ah," Voldemort continued, "this feels almost like my wand. It's a pity you'll never get to compare both of them." And with that comment, he dropped Harry's wand on the ground and moved two strides closer to Harry, intending to end it all.

"You have fought well, Harry. In time, you would become a challenge greater than even Dumbledore. But I'm afraid your time has come. Any last words?"

Harry struggled to breath as he listened to the red eyed bastard standing above him. He noticed the single standing Death Muncher walk over on the edge of the road, watching excitedly but he seemed smart enough not to interfere with his Lord's pleasure.

Voldemort just smirked at his non-response and raised his wand. "Goodbye then, Harry Potter."

"_**Avada Kedavra!**__"_

----

Harry didn't care anymore. The fight had gone out of him. He had fought and he had lost. It didn't matter anyway; _Sirius is already gone, so what is there left?_ Harry had no answers for his question. He looked up once more at Voldemort's cruel red eyes and his maliciously twisted smile. As he did, it all came to him. He saw Ron and Hermione's faces, he saw Remus, Dumbledore, Hagrid, Tonks. And lastly, he saw Sirius. Sirius' face with that stupid, goofy grin.

They were worth fighting for. He would fight for them; to protect them, and to make sure they didn't have to face the horrors of the war.

Neither Harry nor Voldemort heard the many pops on the side of the road that signified the too-late arrival of the Order.

Voldemort was too focused on ending his nemesis' life, and Harry was focused on survival.

He heard Voldemort shout the curse that would end it all, but he felt no fear. He only felt a love and determination to protect his friends. And to do that he needed to kill this sadistic motherfucker.

His eyes moved to his wand, lying abandoned on the pavement a meter behind Voldemort. He saw the sickly green light headed for him, and was only filled with grim determination. He wouldn't die here; he had a job to do. He had to get behind Voldemort. He had to get his wand. And he had to do it now.

He felt something rising in his chest, trying to escape. It felt warm and comfortable, and he let it out. The aches in his body disappeared, and Harry focused solely on his task. He willed himself to appear behind Voldemort, and so he did.

The smallest sounding pop signified his success as he found himself on one knee behind the Dark Lord, his right hand scrabbling madly for his wand. He dimly heard the screams of terror from the Order as he rose to his feet while Voldemort spun around to meet him, wand poised to destruction.

Harry's surprised face echoed Voldemort's as they each found the other's wand pointed directly at their chest. For one hundredth of a second, they stared into each other's eyes, and then it all came to a head as they let their last spells fly and two mouths shouted in synchronisation:

"_**Avada Kedavra!!!!**_"

Green light erupted from both wands, encompassing the other caster's chest, expanding further and further outwards. A great dome of green suddenly discharged, and each duelist found themselves flung violently backwards to opposite ends of the street, where they lay as if in death.

----

A/N: Okay guys, a few things to clarify.

Harry, right now, is in a very low place. Sirius just died, he's weighed down by the prophecy, and he's had limited freedom for the past year. Add all this up, and you get depression. After Sirius' death, I decided to make Harry quite numb, to absolutely _everything_ around him, which is why he acts the way he acts around Tom Riddle. If you don't like it, then get over it, because, truthfully, I'm writing this fiction for me, not for you guys.

This is also my first fanfic, so I'm writing it for me. I'll definitely read reviews from you guys, but it won't have any affect on my storyline, unless I specifically ask for it. I might use an idea that someone suggests, or I might not.

I'm debating incorporating some elements from another story 'Redemption of the Black Sisters' into my story. Full credit goes to jon3776. I really like the idea of Harry/Bella/Cissa interaction, and he came up with a creative way to do it. This may or may not happen.

If my story gets too out of hand or unbelievable for you, then stop reading. I don't claim to satisfy everyone who reads this, so meh.

Also, not sure how this fight scene came out. I hope it was okay. Important to note that the last bit all happened in one second or so. I just drew it out when I wrote it, cos that's the way I always imagined it.


	2. Recovery

**Summary:**

AU: Sirius is dead, the ministry has acknowledged Voldemort's return, and the rift between Harry and everything around him deepens. Things are spinning out of control and many surprises are around the corner…..

**Note:**

This story is post-OoTP. It will cover the summer after Sirius' death and Harry's 6th school year. I may also extend it to include his 7th year, but I haven't decided. Not sure of the pairings yet. Harry will become involved with multiple girls/women, but will only ultimately fall for one. **This story WILL contain sexual content, so if you don't like reading sex scenes, don't fuckin' read the story. It will also contain violence and coarse language, so meh.**

----

**Previously:**

----

_Harry's surprised face echoed Voldemort's as they each found the other's wand pointed at their chest. For one hundredth of a second, they stared into each other's eyes, and then it all came to a head as they let their last spells fly and two mouths shouted in synchronisation:_

_"__**Avada Kedavra!!!!**"_

_Green light erupted from both wands, encompassing the other caster's chest, expanding further and further outwards. A great dome of green suddenly discharged, and each duelist found themselves flung violently backwards to opposite ends of the street, where they lay like as if in death._

----

**Chapter 2: Recovery**

----

The Order had gotten organised; everyone had prepared themselves, ready for a fight, and ready to defend Harry. When Alastor Moody came hobbling back in the kitchen, he sounded almost in awe of the magic he had sensed in Privet Drive. Now everyone understood why.

The Order had arrived, everyone apparating to co-ordinates given by Albus Dumbledore, only to witness a scene that none would ever forget. As they popped into existence, they all looked to see Harry Potter on the ground clearly defeated. Voldemort stood over him, his wand raised as he shouted a curse.

A sickly green light shot from the wand, and the Order watched in horror and then awe as the curse shot towards Harry and he disappeared, only to reappear behind Voldemort as they both whirled on each other to shoot one final spell. The cry of 'Avada Kedavra' echoed in the ears of many of the Order members.

It took a few seconds after Harry and Voldemort had been flung back to their respective ends of the street for the Order to react. Three or four of their number noticed a Death Eater running towards the crumpled form of the Dark Lord, and they shot curses and hexes aplenty at the figure. Just as the spells were about to hit, the servant took ahold of his Lord's arm and both disappeared with a sharp crack.

Mad-Eye cursed. "Death Eater scum!" he cried.

Suddenly, a cry of fear sounded from off to the side, and the auror turned to see another Death Eater clutching his shoulder while staring at the Order members. A split second of silence passed before Moody was moving, his wand flashing quickly and putting the Death Eater down with a stunner. "Stupid," Mad-Eye muttered. "Always secure the scene."

He peg-legged it over to the Death Eater, bound and restunned him, then levitated him behind as he headed over to where the others had gathered. On the way, he noticed another Death Eater similar stunned and bound simply lying in the grass. A smirk crossed Moody's face as realisation came. "'Atta' boy, Potter."

With two bodies levitated behind him, he made a slow but steady way over to the still body of Harry Potter.

----

The Order members were crowded around Harry's crumpled body, lying still and bleeding on the road. Blood ran from his mouth freely, his muscles twitched from over-exposure to the cruciatus curse and his entire shirt had been burnt to tatters with Voldemort's final curse. Smoke slowly curled up from his burnt chest, which was rising and falling unsteadily.

Tonks was on her knees beside him, tears running down her face, already running diagnostics charms and such, trying to find out the extent of the damage.

Dumbledore was already working, clearing off blood and soot and closing minor gashes.

The rest of the Order just stood and stared, Severus Snape included. Never had he imagined that such an arrogant little shit like Potter could match the Dark Lord in a duel, but that was obviously what had happened here today. God, he needed a drink.

Dumbledore took a deep shuddering breath, and then spoke, "We must get him to Hogwarts. He needs Madam Pomfrey."

"He needs more than that!" Tonks cried tearfully. "Jesus, his whole body's torn up." She abruptly turned her head sharply, looking for someone. "Where the _hell _is Fletcher!?" she spat.

"Later," came Dumbledore's reply. "Harry comes first."

With that, the group all disappeared; some accompanied Moody to the Ministry to deal with the Death Eaters, some headed back to headquarters, and some went to Hogwarts to accompany Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived.

----

Arthur Weasley gave a tired sigh as he stepped out of the fireplace of the Burrow. He'd come home earlier to put Molly to bed. The poor woman had been hysterical and Arthur had had to stun her to get her to sleep. He'd then floo'd to Hogwarts to await news on Harry's condition

Word was that he would live, but both his physical and mental state were still undetermined at the moment.

At that moment, Bill, who was staying for the summer, came into the room, a curious gaze on his face. He was followed by Fred, George, Ron and Ginny.

"Hey, dad, what's up with mum? She's bloody passed out or something. She wasn't drinking too heavily or anything, was she?" Bill teased with a grin.

Arthur gave another defeated sigh before he himself moved to the liquor cabinet to grab a bottle of firewhiskey. "No," he answered, "she hasn't been drinking. You should all sit down, though."

Everyone noticed the seriousness in his face and sat down, waiting quietly. Even Gred and Forge didn't make a sound. Their eyes all widened when Arthur brought the bottle of firewhiskey to the table, accompanied by a glass for each of them. He quietly filled the glasses to the top and passed them around to everyone, including Ginny.

"Blimey," Ron broke the silence, "this must be serious if _you're_ giving _us_ whiskey."

Arthur just downed his entire glass and completely ignored both the looks of his children and the smoke that was steaming out of his ears.

"It's about Harry."

----

Dumbledore sat in a comfortable chair of the Hogwarts hospital wing. It had been two days since Harry's encounter with Voldemort and Albus had been quite vigilant in staying and watching over Harry since he had been brought in. Poppy was also buzzing around, anxiously drowning the boy in pain-relieving and skin-regrowth potions. Needless to say, everyone was in quite a state about Harry's health.

No more so than Dumbledore. His head was buried in his hands and he had never looked older than he did right now.

Poppy came over and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. "You need to rest as well, Albus. You have other duties, and well you know it."

Dumbledore just let out a sigh. "I failed him, Poppy. Not just because Mundungus kept falling asleep on his watch, but in a lot of other ways, I have failed Harry."

Indeed he had. He had kept the boy cooped up against his wishes. He had buried Harry under mountains of pressure with the contents of the prophecy. Hell, he had handed Harry off to _Snape_ of all people, to teach the boy Occlumency.

It had to change. He would change it. He gave a nod of resolution and made a silent vow to make it up to the boy. _If he survives_, Albus thought bitterly. _Much help I was!_

He was just starting to beat himself up when Harry began to stir.

----

Darkness surrounded him, and it was thick; impenetrable. Slowly it began to dissolve, his vision ever-so-slowly becoming clearer. Just before the last of the darkness faded, a voice echoed in his mind; powerful, confident.

_Soon, young one…._

Darkness took him again.

----

Harry slowly awoke, his body aching, his head heavy. A small gurgle escaped his throat as he got accustomed to using his body again. Ever so gingerly, he opened his eyes and bright white walls flashed at him. His eyes quickly shut and then tentatively opened yet again, just enough to let in the smallest amount of light. It still hurt enough that he whimpered.

"Harry?" came a whisper from nearby.

Harry just cringed and whimpered again. "Too loud," he sobbed.

"Here, drink this," came another voice.

Something was pressed to his lips, and a hand was behind his head, helping him up. He quickly downed it and all the pain receded to a dull thrum, which could be ignored.

Harry let out a sigh of relief and then opened his eyes a third time. The noise level had reduced, and Harry was grateful for it. His throat no longer felt like raw burned parchment, so he was sure he would be able to speak. He was in the hospital wing somewhere, so there would be questions.

He didn't want to answer them. He didn't remember how he got here. All he remembered was that he used to feel empty, and now he felt too much. He felt the small rays of sunlight coming in through the window, the gentle breeze that followed. He heard the breathing of two people who were waiting for him to just spill his guts about whatever brought him here. And he most definitely felt the emptiness that was Sirius.

He hadn't even been able to think about Sirius the past few days (when he'd been awake). He'd wanted to; feeling that he owed it to the old dog to remember the good times and such, but he hadn't been able to. He couldn't feel anything. He hadn't felt his head hitting the wall as he sat on his bed for three days straight. He hadn't been able to feel the uncomfortable position he'd put his muscles in. He'd felt nothing. But he felt it now; Sirius was dead.

"Sirius is dead," he whispered.

There was a pause, and then "Harry?"

Harry was barely aware, but he recognised the voice of Albus Dumbledore. And he did not want to talk to that man right now. _Not that man_. Not the man who'd held Sirius captive like a fucking animal; imprisoned in his own house, unable to leave or visit anyone.

"Harry?" came Dumbledore's voice again.

"Don't," he whispered. "Just don't." And with that, Harry rolled over and welcomed the darkness, yet again.

----

Another day had passed, and Harry was well enough to move around. He had had a few visitors. Remus and Moody had come by; Remus to see his best-friends only child and Moody to say congratulations on a job well done with 'those damned death-munchers'. Harry hadn't talked much to either of them, but he did express to Remus that he wanted to talk to him over the rest of the summer. Remus had naturally agreed straight away.

Dumbledore had come to visit twice more, finally abandoning his post after Harry dismissed him. The first time he had visited, Harry had simply told him to 'fuck off!' Madame Pomfrey had been shocked at his treatment of the headmaster and had proceeded to lecture him and beat him over the head with a broom; she only stopped when she accidentally hit him on his still highly blackened and burnt chest and he couldn't hold back a scream of agony.

A few hours after both of them had settled down, the headmaster had come once again. Harry hadn't sent him away this time. He knew that he had to answer the old man's questions.

"I'm sorry about before, sir." Harry murmured as the old man took a seat. "I did not mean to sound quite so harsh."

"I understand Harry. It is not easy to lose a loved one. From the way you've been acting since you woke, can I assume that you had previously managed to block it all out?"

Harry gave a bitter smile. "Yeah, I did. Didn't feel anything. I didn't taste food, nor drink, I didn't feel that Death Eater's curse hit my arm, I didn't feel anything. And now I feel too much," he voiced quietly as tears began to run down his face.

"I told you at the end of last year Harry that it's not a crime to feel grief and heavy emotions after what you've been through. It is to be expected. And in some ways rejoiced; it means you are moving on."

"Yeah, well…I can get over Sirius' death," Harry murmured with a quiet certainty. "I don't want to, but I can do it. He wouldn't want me mopin' around anyway. Stupid flea-bag," he finished with a sudden laugh.

Dumbledore gave him a gentle smile, and Harry could see the depth of affection that the old man held for him. And he loved the old man back, he did. Loved him to death. But he couldn't forgive him. Not yet. Not for withholding that life changing prophecy.

"Poppy tells me you're able to move around now without too much trouble," Albus said, trying to lengthen the small talk before they got to the serious stuff.

"Yeah, I'll be glad to get out of here. I can move around fine, and all my injuries are healed, except for the burn on my chest."

Harry peeled his top off to expose his chest and Albus almost recoiled from the ugly blackened burn that existed there. The skin smelled charred and was peeling away. He was brought out of his musing as Harry continued speaking.

"It's gonna be one bitch of a scar," he said, temporarily forgetting that the old man next to him was not only his school teacher but his principal.

"Harry," Dumbledore admonished.

"Sorry," said Harry, with a sheepish look.

A companionable silence took hold of the room and Harry leant back on his pillows to enjoy the relaxing atmosphere. It was broken as Albus let out a sigh.

"Harry, I need to know what exactly happened. With Tom."

Harry let out a sigh of his own. He didn't want to do, but it was necessary. "Can we do this with your pensieve?" he asked. "I don't want to explain it; it'd just be easier by memory."

Dumbledore's face softened. "Of course, Harry. I happened to have brought it with me," he said, trying to lighten the mood. It didn't work.

"What do I need to do?"

"All you need to do, Harry, is to think of everything that happened. Remember the memory, and I'll extract it using my wand. You need to concentrate, though, and you must be specific about what you're remembering, otherwise I'll get a few minutes of irrelevant or random memories. Understand?"

Harry gave a nod and began to remember. He concentrated, barely noticing Dumbledore's wand come up to touch his temple and draw away with a silvery string. Dumbledore gave a noise of satisfaction as he deposited it into the pensieve. He turned to Harry. "Do you wish to watch it with me, Harry?"

Harry gave a shudder and shook his head. Dumbledore gave an understanding nod and then proceeded to dive into the memory. Harry saw the silvery liquid within shimmering about. Then he looked about, trying to remember all the good times he had had with Sirius. Tears came to his eyes and he burrowed into his pillow in the hopes of finding refuge. Eventually, he slept.

He was awakened approximately half an hour later as Dumbledore shook him. Harry grumbled and then rolled over to face the old man once again. His mind slowly processed the memory in which he had tried to make a bargain with the devil for Bellatrix Lestrange. This was not going to be a comfortable conversation.

He looked the Headmaster straight in the eye, unwilling to flinch away from his choices and his childish behaviour. What he saw surprised him; Dumbledore had a small twinkle in his eye. "Dumblenuts?" he questioned.

Harry started, then blushed beet-red. "Um… I was trying to get him to believe I didn't know the contents of the prophecy," he explained in a rush.

Dumbledore looked on with amusement and understanding. Then he grew worried.

"Harry… would you really have joined him? If he had given you Bellatrix?" His voice was soft, but there was a severe urgency that Harry could pick out.

"A few days ago, I might have. I would have gone with him, and taken Bellatrix. And then played it by ear until he killed me. But now… no. I'll never join him. And I won't barter my soul simply for Bellatrix. I won't even hunt her down."

Dumbledore gave a relieved sigh as he could tell Harry was not lying. _Legilimency was good for something,_ he thought. However, Harry continued.

"But know this, sir. If she comes to me, or if I happen to come across her, I will kill her, and there is nothing you can do to stop me." Albus looked into the boy's mind as he spoke these words, and it pained him to see that Harry was telling the truth. To think that his decisions had caused the boy to come to such a low point in life as to consider murder.

"Very well, Harry," he whispered. "I appreciate you being honest, and I thank you for your continued efforts in thwarting Voldemort's schemes. You should be proud of the way you handled yourself the other day."

Harry's look clearly indicated he didn't care, but he replied anyway. "Thanks."

Albus nodded again. "Well, Harry. Now that you've seen fit to enlighten me as to what has occurred, I can enlighten you as to what will happen to you for the rest of the summer."

Harry narrowed his eyes. "Will I have to go back to the Dursleys?"

Dumbledore bowed his head. "Unfortunately, Harry, yes. For the blood-protection wards. However, you will not be idle. Over the break, I shall supply you with any reading materials you wish, and I will have someone teach you Occlumency." He saw Harry's look and cut him off. "No, Harry, it will not be Professor Snape, and yes, Occlumency is necessary for you to master."

The boy had a look of relief on his face at the mention of not being mind-raped by Snivellus. "Thank you, Merlin!"

Dumbledore gave a chuckle. "Well, I'm not quite Merlin, young Harry, although I've been told I do look like him." He noted Harry's amused glance. "Now, there is something else, Harry. You will also be having training over the summer with none other than … myself."

Harry's head shot up like a dog after a bitch in heat. "W-With you?" he stammered. "Er…. Um, wow. Er, what will I be learning?"

Dumbledore looked amused at his stammering. His answer, however, was rather vague. "I'll be teaching you a little bit of this, and bit of that, young Harry. I must warn you, it will not be combat training. At least," he smirked," not until we get rid of that terrible burn, hmm?"

"Um, okay. Cool. Any kind of training is better than sitting around doing nothing at that place."

Dumbledore gave a wide, beaming smile and stood up. "Good. Then I'll come see you later today, and I believe Poppy will be ready to release you."

"But, sir… what about this burn?" He indicated his blackened chest.

"Ah, well if Poppy wishes to keep you in here till that goes away, we shall be waiting a rather long time. Have a good day, Harry." And with that, the old man walked out of the Hogwarts Hospital wing, his pensieve carried under his arm.

As soon as the door closed, Harry leant back to try and relax, but it was not to be as the door slammed open and numerous people ran across to clutch at his bedside. He looked up as Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Remus and Ginny approached.

Harry tried to smile, but it didn't come out all that well. "Hey guys," he murmured.

He noticed Hermione had tears in her eyes and Ron looked like he wanted to thump Harry on the back in greeting; luckily, he was held back by Fred. "Hey mate," he murmured quietly.

Harry managed to give a real smile this time as he stood up. He moved gingerly towards Hermione and gave her a gentle hug, ignoring the slow burn that came from his chest. He felt her tense to give him a bone-crusher but then she obviously remembered his wound and eased up. He let go and moved to Ginny, repeating the process. Then he clapped Ron, Fred and George on the shoulders "How are all you guys doin'?" he asked.

Hermione promptly burst into tears. "How are we doing?" she sputtered. "We're not the ones who duelled with You-Know-Who. We're not the ones in hospital. We're not the ones-"

She was cut off as Harry gently placed two fingers over her lips. When she fell silent, he slipped an arm around her shoulder. "I'm fine Hermione," he murmured. "Just a small burn; nothing to worry about. Besides, I'll bet Voldemort's out for a few days more at least."

The Weasley's plus Hermione shuddered as they heard the name. Harry just gave a sigh. "Anyway," he continued, "Enough of this moping around shit. What are you guys planning for the summer?"

Hermione gasped. "Harry Potter!" she cried. "Don't swear like that!"

Harry just stuck his tongue out at her. All the red-heads in the room burst out laughing as Hermione huffed indignantly. "You're only getting off easy because you're injured."

Harry just shrugged and turned to the red-headed mob. "So, what's the plan?"

"Er… I don't think there is one. We're just going to hang around the house and help out the Order however we can. Still haven't been allowed to join though," Ron muttered bitterly, throwing a glare at Gred and Forge.

As if Ron had given them a cue, they stepped forward with identical grins on their faces. "Harry, old chap-" one of them began.

"-So good to see you, old friend!"

"How's the chest-"

"Or the head-"

"Or the arse feeling?"

Harry just stared, trying to remember which one had started the whole thing and whether or not the same one had finished it. And what the hell did his head and arse have to do with anything? "I'm confused," was all he could come up with.

Gred and Forge erupted with laughter. "Ah, esteemed backer of ours-"

"You make us laugh like no other."

Harry just blinked and then sighed. "Whatever, I'm too tired for this crap right now." He dropped his arm from around Hermione and climbed back onto the bed, trying to keep his hospital gown from riding up. Ginny let out a giggle at seeing his attempts to keep it down. "Don't worry, Harry," she purred, "we don't mind a free show."

Harry blushed as he managed to get comfortable and cleared his throat.

Ginny continued. "Anyway, we don't have anything special planned for the summer. Fred and George are working at their shop. Actually, Ron and I are helping out, isn't that awesome?! Oh, and Bill's back from Egypt and he's staying at home for a few weeks to visit Mum and Dad. That's about it. What about you?"

Harry relaxed back into the pillows as he relayed what Dumbledore had said earlier about the summer training and such.

"Wow!" Hermion gushed. "I'll bet he's going to teach you really advanced defensive magic and things like that."

Harry grunted. "Don't think so. He said it was all non-combat stuff until this heals up." Then he bared his chest once again.

Fred and George studied it like it was a famous Pecasso, Hermione looked away, Ginny stared in fascination and Ron turned green and looked a little woozy. "That is," he said, "without a doubt the most horrible thing I've ever seen. And I once saw Percy making out with his girlfriend." He gave a shudder.

"Anyway, Harry, we've got to leave," Hermione grumbled. "Madame Pomfrey only allowed us in to say hi and to see how you're doing." She sounded pretty pissed off that she didn't get to spend more time with her friend.

"It's okay, Hermione. I'll be fine. Though, I don't think I'll see any of you until we go back to Hogwarts."

"What?!" Ron blurted. "Why not?"

"Just a feeling I've got," Harry murmured and Ron looked thoroughly disgruntled.

"Everybody out!" shrieked a sudden voice. Everyone whirled around to look at Madam Pomfrey. "You've seen him! You've said hello! Now get out! He needs rest!"

Harry watched on with amusement as everyone muttered a quick goodbye and beat a hasty retreat out the door. Then Madam Pomfrey turned narrowed eyes upon Harry. "You! Go to sleep! And drink this!" Without asking, she stuffed a potion down his throat, and Harry felt himself becoming drowsy. A few seconds later, the darkness took him.


	3. The Spirit Carries On

**Summary:**

AU: Sirius is dead, the ministry has acknowledged Voldemort's return, and the rift between Harry and everything around him deepens. Things are spinning out of control and many surprises are around the corner…..

**Note:**

This story is post-OoTP. It will cover the summer after Sirius' death and Harry's 6th school year. I may also extend it to include his 7th year, but I haven't decided. Not sure of the pairings yet. Harry will become involved with multiple girls/women, but will only ultimately fall for one. **This story WILL contain sexual content, so if you don't like reading sex scenes, don't fuckin' read the story. It will also contain violence and coarse language, so meh.**

----

**Previously:**

----

_Harry relaxed back into the pillows as he relayed what Dumbledore had said earlier about the summer training and such. _

"_Wow!" Hermion gushed. "I'll bet he's going to teach you really advanced defensive magic and things like that."_

_Harry grunted. "Don't think so. He said it was all non-combat stuff until this heals up." Then he bared his chest once again. _

_Fred and George studied it like it was a famous Pecasso, Hermione looked away, Ginny stared in fascination and Ron turned green and looked a little woozy. "That is," he said, "without a doubt the most horrible thing I've ever seen. And I once saw Percy making out with his girlfriend." He gave a shudder. _

_Harry watched on with amusement as everyone muttered a quick goodbye and beat a hasty retreat out the door. Then Madam Pomfrey turned narrowed eyes upon Harry. "You! Go to sleep! And drink this!" Without asking, she stuffed a potion down his throat, and Harry felt himself becoming drowsy. A few seconds later, the darkness took him._

----

**Chapter 3: The Spirit Carries On**

_If I die tomorrow I'd be alright because I believe that after we're gone the spirit carries on... - _Dream Theater

----

Four days had now passed since Voldemort's attack and Harry had been sent back to Privet Drive. Remus had apparated him back late last night, and Harry's relatives had been pretty pissed off about the whole thing. But then again, what was new? They'd kicked up a fuss and Remus had ended up stunning Uncle Vernon. Harry would've paid great money to see that even a year ago, but without Sirius around life just didn't seem to be worth it.

In the week that Sirius had died, Harry had been incapable of feeling any kind of emotion except boredom. He just figured he'd somehow managed to disassociate his emotions from himself. But now, after Voldemort's attack, something had set the emotions loose, and Harry just felt lost. He'd cried a lot in the hospital wing when he was alone, not wanting other people to see him. He didn't want to appear weak.

But, reflecting back, he'd come to the conclusion that it was stupid to hold back your emotions. So here he sat, on his bed, his eyes clouded by grief. Tears no longer ran down his cheeks; he had spent them all. He'd probably cry sometime tomorrow. Remus was coming, with the possible addition of Tonks, and they were all going to sit down and talk about Sirius. Or try to. Remus, while dropping Harry off and suggesting the idea, had mentioned that the first 'session' or two of whatever they were going to do would probably be extremely hard to get through. Harry silently agreed and guessed that they would just spend the entire time sitting there in silence.

But that was tomorrow, and Harry had to get through today first. Throwing a glance at the clock, he saw it was time for him to get up and make breakfast for his 'family'. With a quiet sigh, he did just that.

He used the bathroom, had a shower, and headed down to the kitchen to begin cooking. The sizzling of bacon and eggs eventually drew the Dursleys down to the table.

Harry greeted each of them with a simple "Good morning" and continued cooking. Uncle Vernon was the only one to reply, and that was with an irritated grunt before hiding behind his newspaper. He was obviously still pissed about being stunned by a wizard; in his own house, no less! Harry ignored them all, finished the cooking and sat down to eat.

He ignored the small talk that Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon made while he ate his fill. One good thing these holidays had been the amount of food he'd been allowed to eat. Mad-Eye had scared the shit out of them at the train station, and Harry was now reaping the reward. He was eating healthily and he wasn't getting yelled at for it.

Harry finished his meal, put his dishes in the sink and headed upstairs.

----

Harry sat in his room, reading over an old text-book, bored out of his skull. His thoughts temporarily strayed to his broken wand; he didn't feel complete without it. And his burn itched. He tried to focus back on the text-book, and then realized that the Dursleys hadn't yelled at him to do any chores all day. Dear Merlin it was _boring_. There was only so many times a person could read old text-books without wanting to pull out their hair.

His scar hadn't hurt at all, he'd noticed. That meant that Voldemort was practicing Occlumency against Harry, or he was still injured. Harry hoped it was the latter. It would give the Order more time to take a break, as well as giving Harry himself more time to train and to learn Occlumency.

Harry was extremely keen to start training with Dumbledore, even if the man claimed it wasn't going to be combat training. He had no idea what it would be, but he knew if Dumbledore was giving him personal instruction, it would be worth it.

His thoughts about Dumbledore were varied these days. On some days he hated the man, for causing the death of Harry's only remaining parent-figure. But some days he couldn't help but love the man. Harry owed him for getting him away from the Dursleys and accepting him at Hogwarts, but Harry wouldn't be in Dumbledore's debt if Dumbledore hadn't put him here in the first place. _That,_ Harry thought happily, and a little vindictively, _makes us even!_ Dumbledore had lied or omitted the truth to Harry on so many occasions, and Harry knew he would never be able to fully trust the man again. He loved him, but he didn't trust him.

He was grateful for the training he was going to receive, but he was no longer in Dumbledore's camp. _I have to choose, _he realized and then concluded that he already had. He wasn't with Dumbledore, and he sure as hell wasn't with Voldemort. He wasn't with the Order, nor the Death Eaters. _The Golden Child is dead,_ he thought harshly. _I'm on my own side now._ So, yeah, he would fight the war, and he would kill Tom Riddle. But he wouldn't do it for Dumbledore, nor for Hogwarts, nor for the Wizarding World. He would do it for himself. Harry felt a part of himself breathe easier as he made this decision.

Dumbledore had also given him a book on Occlumency and Legilimency before having Remus escort him back to his relatives. Harry didn't know why he had given Harry information on Legilimency, but he supposed that if he learnt it, it would help indefinitely. Then he could spy on Malfoy, the stupid git. Of course, Harry had a feeling he'd have to learn Occlumency first.

But then again, even if Harry learnt Legilimency, he didn't know whether he'd even bother using it on Malfoy; Harry had done a lot of growing up and made a few realizations in the days since Sirius' death. One of those had been to see just how insignificant Draco Malfoy really was. Granted, he was a school bully, and Harry hated those, but he was nothing when Harry thought about how he would have to be the one to face Voldemort: the strongest Dark Lord in the last century. Compared to _that_, Malfoy was barely a gnat on his radar.

He had much bigger fish to fry. New found maturity had allowed Harry to see that he had to stop sweating the small things; like who got detention and how to prank the Slytherins. No; he had to focus on the best way to protect everyone from Tom Riddle's wrath. And that was no easy task.

And Harry knew it would start with him. Despite how little he wanted to be in the spotlight, that's where he would be until Voldemort was dead and his followers were stopped. So, yeah, Harry had to make some changes. And he had a feeling these changes had already begun. The war had already hit close to home, and it had barely even started. And Harry had definitely evolved.

He'd already noticed changes, just in the last few days. He was more aware of his surroundings, instinctively aware of how many people were in a room with him, and his anger was harder to draw out. The Dursleys childish taunts and petty threats no longer touched him; he simply shrugged them off. He knew he would also have to take control of his temper and his childish personality. Last year, he'd made his case to the Order about joining, and he remembered his argument: _'I'm not a child; let me in!' _he'd claimed. And then all year last year, he'd been angry and moody and screamed at anyone that looked at him. _Just a tiny bit hypocritical_, he thought.

Anyway, he hoped the reduced anger and aggression he'd seemed to display in the last few days would make it easier to learn Occlumency. After all, he'd failed monumentally at that. What had Snape said? Something about '_Gryffindors who wear their hearts on their sleeves'._ But then again, that was _Snivellus!_ And that guy was just pathetic. Harry made a mental note to have a long and hard think about how he would handle that bastard this year, just as his thoughts moved back to his anger and unstableness.

He'd had reason to be angry, that was for sure. Dumbledore had withheld information that had resulted in Sirius' death. The Order had kept their secrets and inadvertently led Harry's group of friends into danger just to discover them. And _Umbridge!!_ God, he hated that cow. Thank Merlin she wouldn't be teaching again at Hogwarts this year. If she was, he doubted he'd be able to hold in his anger; that was for sure.

_No,_ he thought. It had to change No more anger, no more outbursts, no more childish digs at Snape or Malfoy. Well… maybe Snape. Harry allowed a grin to crease his lips as he thought about many different ways to piss Snape off throughout the year. He could only do that though, if he could learn Occlumency, otherwise his thoughts would be read, and he'd be shutdown before he could even begin planning a prank.

_So,_ he mused, _onto Occlumency_. He moved across the room and picked the book up. _Apt Applications for the Magical Mind,_ he read the title. _More like a dusty tome, _he couldn't help but think glumly. Dusting it off, he moved back to the bed and got comfortable. He moved to open the book, then hesitated. His previous experiences with Occlumency hadn't been good. And he didn't relish the prospect of having another person have free reign running around inside his head.

He'd never really realized it before, but that had been one of the only places he'd been safe when he was a child; in his mind. He'd been physically bullied by all of the Dursleys for so many years that everything had begun piling up and finding safety within his mind. If he didn't tell the Dursleys about his hopes and dreams and kept them within the complex confines of his brain, he wouldn't be disappointed. Feeling rather disgruntled, Harry opened the book and began to read.

He quickly covered the introduction which outlined that Occlumency was the defence of the mind against outside penetration. He turned pages, browsing, until he found something interesting.

_When learning Occlumency, it is necessary to begin by focusing on unimportant memories. The learner must focus on not getting caught up in their memories and must concentrate on pushing the intruder out._

Harry looked up with a snarl, his rage temporarily spiking, but then he calmed down so he could think rationally. He had to, or he'd never be good at this and he'd never be able to defeat Tom.

_So, _he thought,_ start with memories that aren't painful or something. Snape sure as hell didn't do that!!_ His fist clenched and his nails dug into his skin, drawing blood. He wasn't aware of it as his thoughts continued. _That son of a bitch! The learner must not get caught up in memories? _Well, he could understand that, he supposed. It made a sort of sense. It was similar to a boxing match. You couldn't hit your opponent if they made a good feint and distracted you.

_Right, don't get distracted,_ he dictated to himself, fully focused on making sure he could learn this.

_If only Snivellus had explained all of this stuff! Sirius would still be alive!_ But then Harry sagged, his bones becoming seemingly liquid. _There are no 'what ifs'. Sirius is dead. It was over; done._

He continued reading, absorbing the information in the book. Everything he read surprised him. If he'd known all of these things, he was sure he'd have been able to master Occlumency when he'd needed to.

_Right,_ he thought, putting the book down beside him. He lay down, getting into a comfortable position and relaxed. _The book said that to clear ones mind every night, it was essential to focus. _So here he was, focusing. The book had suggested focusing on seeing a single white dot once he closed his eyes, and focusing solely on that. Harry had decided to try using his breathing as a focal point.

He muted everything else out, and his chest rose and fell. His breathing became steady, his ears picking up a steady, soothing rasp. He could feel his ribs moving up and down, hypnotizing him, and he felt something akin to peace. _Right, I found a state of calm, just like the book said. _His thoughts seemed - not sluggish – but slower than usual, as though his calm had impeded his mental processes. _Now all I need to do his hold it. _He managed it for only a few seconds before a noise from downstairs intruded on his peace. Letting out a sigh, he tried again. And again, and again. Each time, he was brought back from his calm, and each time afterwards that he tried he could hold it for longer.

Harry thought that this had to be something similar to muggle meditation. Maybe he should buy a book about that or something. Either way, it would be beneficial.

Harry opened his eyes and looked around, feeling a serene sort of calm. He looked outside the curtains and noticed night had fallen. And some time ago too, by the looks of things. His clock read 10:30. He'd been doing this for quite a number of hours.

Harry's stomach gave a rumble, and he realized that the Dursleys must have already eaten if it was this late. Heading downstairs, he made a sandwich and then came back up, ready for bed. He once more attempted to find his state of calm, and he figured he must have held it for at least five minutes before his thoughts slipped away and he drifted off to sleep.

----

He came to consciousness slowly, but smoothly, and as he awoke Harry felt the best he had in years. He slowly sat up, looking around serenely and reached for his glasses. His clock came into focus, showing him it was just before six in the morning. He looked outside his window, and the smallest hint of light was just breaching over other houses into his window. Making a snap decision, he changed into some more athletic clothes and headed out for a run.

As he moved, his feet made slapping noises against the road. His chest burned and his lungs wheezed. He was heading back to the house, having only run around the block twice. Seeing the Dursleys front door fifty yards away, he slowed to a walk, hoping that it would ease his burning muscles. He was _so_ not fit! _Well, that'll have to change too_ he concluded resolutely.

He'd realized it earlier in his run; he was severely unfit. So he'd begun thinking and making plans for his summer holidays. He was going to do Dumbledore's training, learn Occlumency, and get fit. He'd also had fleeting thoughts about getting Dudley to teach him how to box. Boxing would be excellent for his lungs and heart, and Dudley had been doing it for over a year now, so… He was still hesitant about it though. It would be a blatant opportunity for Dudley to beat the snot out of him at every occasion. _Unless, _he thought cunningly, _I get him to train me at the gym with weights and a boxing bag most of the time, and then, say, once a week, we can have a sparring session in the back yard or something._ That might work.

His tired legs slowly led him back to Privet Drive and he opened the front door and headed up for the shower. Fifteen minutes later, he was dressed and downstairs, once again making breakfast for the whole family. Last nights meditation, or whatever it was, in addition to his run this morning had put Harry in a positive, calm mood. He quietly hummed to himself as he bustled around the kitchen. The Dursleys all eventually came in and after starting in on their food, Uncle Vernon spoke up.

"What are you so chipper about this morning, boy?"

Harry didn't even turn around. He just kept nursing his bacon and eggs as he replied, "Nothing, Uncle Vernon. Just had a decent nights sleep."

His Uncle gave a grunt and turned back to his food. Harry knew he was almost definitely disappointed that Harry had had a good nights sleep. After all, he didn't like the boy being comfortable or happy at all. Harry didn't give it another thought and sat down and ate. Nobody voiced their objections as he ate seconds, and then thirds, but he saw Aunt Petunia's eyes narrow dangerously. Deciding not to push his luck, he got up, washed his plate and cutlery and then headed back upstairs.

His morning run had definitely tired him out, he noticed. He felt fatigue pulling at his limbs and new he had to take it easy. He heard a heavy tread waffling up the stairs, and an idea occurred to him. He opened his door and spoke in a quiet, confident voice.

"Dudley."

"What do you want, freak?"

Harry smiled. "I want you to teach me to box." He could see Dudley about to start laughing incredulously and interrupted. "In return, I will agree to spar with you once a week, and you can practice on me. But only as long as you teach me."

Dudley was smart enough to realize this might be an opportunity for 'Harry Hunting'. But still, he was cautious; something which Harry had never thought to see coming from Dudley's pig-like brain. "Why do you want to learn boxing?" he asked, his eyes narrowed in concentration, trying to deduct all of Harry's possible reasons for learning to throw a punch.

"It's not so much about boxing than it is about fitness, Big D. Besides, you teach me, and you get to fight me. And while you teach me, you're also doing your own fitness, and I'm sure you'll get more girls quicker that way." Harry knew he'd won the second he played to Dudley's vanity and mentioned girls. It was a sure thing.

Dudley's face screwed up, thinking, and then he gave a nod, accompanied by a sneer. "Alright, Potter. I'll teach you, and we'll train." He lowered his volume to what he thought Harry couldn't hear and then murmured, "And then I'll get all the girls. Dudley Dursley – Super Stud. Hmm," Harry heard him say, "sound kinda like that Austin Powers guy." He turned back to Harry and spoke in a louder voice, "Alright. We'll even do a session today. After lunch, we're going to the gym." Then he turned and waddled into his room.

Harry threw a mental fist in the air and cheered silently. _Score!_ Alright, so Dudley would teach him to box and Harry would get fit, and then Dumbledore and someone unknown would train him magically for the rest of the holidays. Things were looking up.

A few hours later Dudley had come and yelled at Harry sometime after lunch, telling him to hurry up and now they both were walking up the steps of a gym only one train station away from Privet Drive. Of course, Harry had to pay for his own ticket and his own gym time while Aunt Petunia gave Dudley money for his. But Harry wasn't complaining; he'd expected it.

Harry had had time to recover from his first run and thought he was ready for a boxing session. "Hey Dud," he said as he opened the door for his cousin. "If this boxing works out for me, and you're not too harsh in our sparring sessions, I'll get you a few bottles of mag- er, my kind of alcohol."

Naturally, Dudley only heard something about free alcohol and not the nearly uttered m-word. His eyes lit up piggily and he agreed that he wouldn't be too harsh. Harry still had his doubts, but he'd already signed on and he was going to see it through to the end.

Their first session was not what Harry had expected. Harry thought that Dudley would be showing him different kinds of punches and stuff, but it wasn't to be. Dudley had explained that sometimes boxing was as simple as a tavern brawl and Harry had come to enjoy the freedom of it all. The fighting style was unique to everyone and was as simple as throwing punches however you wanted. Dudley, after showing Harry how to put on his gloves and protect his hands merely pointed at a bag and said, "Hit that for five minutes straight."

Harry eagerly took to the task while Dudley watched. After about a minute and a half, Harry was knackered. He hunched over his knees, trying to draw in breath as Dudley smirked.

"Not just about throwing a punch, cousin," he sneered. "You've got to pace yourself and wait for your opportunities and then _bam!_, your opponent goes down." He then proceeded to lay into the bag, showing a certain kind of finesse with his style, Harry had to admit.

He'd never be elegant, the overgrown pig, but he was a hell of a lot better than Harry had originally assumed. His respect for Dudley grudgingly clicked up a tiny notch, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. _Oh well, that's why I asked him to teach me. He knows what he's talking about._

Dudley had Harry go again and this time gave pointers, ways to minimize the effort while maximizing the damage and how to move or feint. Eventually their session came to a close and Harry almost collapsed. "How do you do this every bloody week?"

Dudley smirked and walked out the door. Harry quickly paid for his time (Dudley had a membership) and followed after him. They arrived back at Privet Drive dead on two o'clock and Harry was surprised to find Uncle Vernon's car in the driveway.

Harry immediately headed upstairs and took a shower. After he finished, he opened the door and found his face alarmingly close to Uncle Vernon's smirk. He drew back quickly. _Whew, that was close. Almost kissed the purple moron._ His thoughts didn't show on his face however, and he raised an eyebrow.

Vernon's smirk widened smugly. "I've found you a job," he said. "A house was burnt down on our street while you were away with the freaks. They started the construction on it a week or two ago and are having trouble getting sufficient workers. I've signed you up. You start on Monday morning, 8:00 am." Throwing Harry a victorious look, he turned and walked away.

Harry let out a sigh as he walked to his bedroom, towel still around his waist. _Well, if I'm working construction, at least I won't be bored. _That was the only advantage Harry could see. The major disadvantage that stood out was the fact that this job would cut into his training time. He let out another sign as he got dressed and flopped on his bed.

He threw a quick glance at the clock and saw it was half past two. Remus would be here in another two hours or so. Hopefully with Tonks. Harry paused for a second as he thought about the Metamorph. He'd definitely noticed how beautiful she was in the past. He shook his head.

Harry reached over and grabbed _Apt Applications of the Magical Mind_, and continued reading. When he looked up, he realized he'd read another two or three chapters and it was already past three.

His muscles burned from all the activity he'd done so far today, and he needed to relax. Putting his book aside, he lay down and once again tried to settle his focus on one single thing. He was brought back a few times before he managed to hold his stasis and a sense of peace took him.

----

He was still lying there when 5:30 rolled around and Remus stepped into the room. The werewolf gave a cough, attempting to wake him up. Harry didn't stir. He tried again with the same result. Behind him, Tonks poked her nose around the door, revealing that both she and Remus had decided to come dressed as muggles. "What's he doing?" she asked.

"He's asleep or something," Remus answered.

"Should we leave him be and come back later?" she asked as she stepped further into the room. The decision was taken from her as she promptly tripped and fell into Remus and they both collided to the floor, making loud _thudding_ noises.

"Oof!" Remus grunted.

Tonks just got up cheerfully, already more than used to tripping over and being clumsy. She looked up to see Harry sitting up, blinking sleepily and watching them with an amused expression on his face.

"Wotcher, Harry."

Harry just smirked and turned his gaze to Remus. "You don't have to bow before me, mate," was all he said. Remus growled and crawled to his feet before an amused expression appeared on his face too.

"How have you been, Harry?"

Harry paused, contemplating such a loaded question. "I've been… lost," he murmured, referring to himself since Sirius' death. "But, surprisingly, today has been a really good day."

Tonks moved to the bed and sprawled herself out comfortably. Well, comfortable for her; she was crushing poor Harry.

"Er, Tonks, I think you're crushing Harry."

"Hmm?? Oh, well. He can move." Then she relaxed completely and didn't look like she was going to move.

Harry began grumbling about 'beautiful stupid metamorphs' as he tried to push her off. Tonks' ears perked up. "You think I'm beautiful?" she asked, excitement clear in her voice.

Harry froze from trying to release himself of her weight. "Er…" That was all he managed before he blushed red after realizing what he said.

Remus was silently howling with laughter, his breath shuddering in and out. Tonks was staring at Harry with a cheeky grin. "You're far too easy to embarrass, Harry." He just turned redder with embarrassment. _I'll show you easy to embarrass!_ he silently promised.

Remus decided to come to his rescue as he pulled up a chair. "Anyway, Harry, we've brought gifts." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a mini-suitcase, then produced his wand and unshrunk it. He opened the suitcase and threw something at Tonks which she fumbledly caught before holding it steady. Harry peered his head and saw it was FireWhiskey. He grinned. _I like where this is going._

"Ever had Firewhiskey before, Harry? Or any kind of alcohol?" Tonks questioned.

Harry shook his head no to both questions. Tonks grinned like a Cheshire cat. "Well now! This is gonna' be a good night," She exclaimed happily.

"You guys are staying the night?" Harry couldn't keep the excitement from his voice. He'd never had a proper sleep over before, even if this one would be with two adults.

"Do you want us to, Harry?" Remus asked, a strange twinkle in his eye.

"Hell yes!" Harry said.

"Good. Now, let's get this party crackin'." Tonks said, whipping her wand towards the door. Harry saw a flash of blue and knew the Dursleys wouldn't be able to interrupt, nor would they hear what was happening inside. Tonks then conjured three shot glasses out of fat air. Twirling the cap off the bottle, she poured each shot and passed them around.

"Cheers boys!" Harry and Remus took one each and they all downed their shots. Remus gave a grunt, Tonks sputtered and Harry… well, Harry had steam pouring out his ears as his throat seared painfully. He could barely hold it down.

"Fuck me!" he whispered when he regained his vocal abilities.

"Not till later, Harry," Tonks teased. Harry blinked and then turned red while the supposed adults in the room burst out laughing.

"Damnit!" he cursed. "Why don't you ever embarrass Remus?!"

"Ah, she's tried, young Harry. Our lovely Tonks has tried. But to no avail."

Harry began grumbling once again. Remus and Tonks just laughed harder.

"Before we get too carried away, Harry, I have something for you," Remus spoke kindly. "It's something that Sirius loved, and I'm sure he would have wanted you to have it."

Harry immediately got serious. He didn't flinch at Sirius name, which Remus took as a good sign. "W-What is it?" he asked through a suddenly dry throat. A subtle tension had come upon the room.

Tonks tried to break it by passing around more shots. It worked. Harry tossed his back without a thought and instantly started sputtering. He suddenly turned to his wall and belched out a flame, blackening the wallpaper. "Er… whoops!" He abruptly giggled, which set off the other two. The room was full of laughter and Remus had tears leaking out of his eyes.

"Ah!" he cried. "Pissed as a carrier-pigeon, already eh Harry?"

Harry blinked at him. "It's 'pissed as a parrot', Moony."

"Only in the muggle world, Harry," the metamorph pointed out.

Remus was busy staring at Harry with a wide grin. "That's the first time you've called me Moony," he pointed out.

"Well, I'll have to do it more often," Harry said, beaming back at him. He then reached over and snatched the FireWhiskey from Tonks grasp. "More shots?" he grinned widely.

Remus chuckled and then reached into the briefcase. He came out with something Harry had not expected. "Harry," he said, "this is yours. Sirius would've wanted you to play it eventually."

Harry stared at the object in Remus' hands before reaching out and taking it reverently. He looked it over, admiring the smooth polish of the guitar in his hands. "You know," he reminisced, "I've always wanted to learn how to play one of these. Dudley got one when he was eight, and he cut the strings so I wouldn't play it. And I find listening to music to be soothing." His grin returned. "Never in a million years would've thought that Sirius would play a muggle guitar."

Remus gave a fond smile. "After he got away from his family, he hid among muggles for a month or so, to give James and his family time to get a room ready for him and everything. He stayed in muggle London and just walked the streets all day. He never liked to be cooped up." A look of regret and grief came over the faces of all three people, before Remus brightened. "Anyway, he walked the streets and saw lots of muggles 'busting', I think it's called, on the street, and he wanted to learn how to play. So he took muggle lessons for a month. Surprised the hell out of all of us when he showed up with a muggle guitar at your Grandparents house."

"Er… I think it's 'busking', Moony. You know, with a 'k'," Harry had a small fond smile on his face as he heard about the Marauders. "Can you teach me to play?" he asked eagerly.

"Of course."

"You know," Tonks chimed in, "He played guitar for me once. He didn't play a song, and I was only three or four, but he just played around and tried to teach me. Needless to say I was pathetic."

And so the afternoon past and gave way to night. All three of them shared various stories, some about Sirius, some about everything else. The FireWhiskey was empty and Harry and Tonks had passed out on the bed. Remus had fallen off his chair and was slumped on the floor, his legs still perched up on the bed.

----

A/N: I know nothng about boxing; just making it up as I go along. If you're a boxing fanatic and it's all off the right track, then have a cry. If you're not a boxing fanatic and it's all off the right track… then have a cry!


	4. Acquaintances of Old and New

**Summary:**

AU: Sirius is dead, the ministry has acknowledged Voldemort's return, and the rift between Harry and everything around him deepens. Things are spinning out of control and many surprises are around the corner…..

**Note:**

This story is post-OoTP. It will cover the summer after Sirius' death and Harry's 6th school year. I may also extend it to include his 7th year, but I haven't decided. Not sure of the pairings yet. Harry will become involved with multiple girls/women, but will only ultimately fall for one. **This story WILL contain sexual content, so if you don't like reading sex scenes, don't fuckin' read the story. It will also contain violence and coarse language, so meh.**

----

**Previously:**

----

_And so the afternoon past and gave way to night. All three of them shared various stories, some about Sirius, some about everything else. The FireWhiskey was empty and Harry and Tonks had passed out on the bed. Remus had fallen off his chair and was slumped on the floor, his legs still perched up on the bed. _

----

**Chapter 4: Acquaintances of New and Old**

----

Harry came to awareness slowly, a severe ache pounding in his skull. He thought he could hear sniggering, but wasn't sure. His eyes opened slowly and light entered, causing him to burrow further into his pillow. A bark of laughter and the tiniest moan from underneath him made him lift his head. His eyes took in a white shirt, the section of which he'd been sleeping on had a curvely shape underneath and Harry lifted his hand and poked it. It was soft. He puzzled over what it could be and realization hit him as a throat was cleared above his head.

He raised his head in startlement and looked into the amused, angry and slightly glazed eyes of Tonks. His hesitation lasted only a second as he gave a shout of fright and rolled off the bed, landing rather heavily on the floor and furthering the pounding in his head and aggravating the burn on his chest. He let out a sharp hiss of pain as he landed. Judging from the noises in the other side of the room, Remus was apparently finding this rather funny.

Harry's face burned as he slowly raised his head to look into Tonks' eyes. "Sorry Tonks," he whispered. Then he slowly dropped his head and slumped to the floor, just waiting for the beating he was sure was coming. Seconds passed and it didn't. He raised his head again, warily, and this time a fist thudded into his temple.

He just groaned and slumped again. He heard the bed rattle and knew Tonks was getting up. His face continued to burn as he asked "What time is it?"

"Time to learn not to feel up my jugs, boy!" growled Tonks, but Harry could hear the playfulness in her voice. Harry just sighed and got up without looking at her to head to the shower. After he finished, he came back to find both Moony and Tonks looking much more energetic than they had a right to be.

"Good morning, Harry."

Harry just threw Remus a glare and looked around for his jogging clothes.

"So, how'd you sleep, Harry?" taunted Tonks.

Harry decided to beat her at her own game. "Excellently, Tonks. You make the best pillow I've ever had."

Tonks blushed prettily and began to stammer. Harry just stared for a second before smirking. "Well," he bragged, "that was easy. Figured I'd have to work harder to make you blush."

Tonks huffed indignantly as Remus sniggered. "Well, aren't you a charmer, young Harry."

Harry smiled and then frowned. "Damn," he muttered.

Tonks cocked a brow. "What?"

"I'm going for a run. Shouldn't have just had a shower. Still got a pounding head, too."

Remus smirked and twirled his wand at Harry. The boy gave a grateful nod as his head-ache cleared and then he spoke. "Right. I'm going for a run. Last night was great guys. And I'd love to do it again sometime. See ya later." With that, he turned and walked out of the room.

----

A few days had passed since Tonks and Remus had visited. Harry had started his construction job, and was working in the morning. It was mostly just carrying timber around and shoveling dirt and moving around the construction site. Not terribly complex work, but Harry had noticed that it was definitely strenuous enough for his muscles.

Dumbledore had sent a message along with Fawkes, detailing that Harry's first Occlumency was to be on Tuesday afternoon, and that his first lesson with Dumbledore would be day after.

Now that Tuesday had arrived, Harry had set himself properly into his routine. Harry had got back from the construction site a minute ago. He'd met Dudley on the steps and they made plans to go to the gym again on in a few days. He'd just left the shower and entered his bedroom, closing the door behind him. The towel around his hips dangled loosely and then flew onto the bed as he began looking for something to wear. He had the shit scared out of him when a voice spoke from behind him.

"Holy shit, Harry! Cover that monster up! I thought you were shy!!" a voice shrieked, nearly hysterically, as Harry jumped an inch or two in the air before whirling around to face the intruder.

Tonks' curious and eager expression stared at him, or rather, a more southern part of him. He saw her lick her lips and blinked in confusion. He looked down and saw how many clothes he _wasn't_ wearing; bare for all the world, or rather, Tonks, to see.

He realized he should be turning red and stuttering, but Harry felt somewhat at ease, and that fact worried him. Perhaps his meditation practice had yielded some results. Either way, something pushed away his flush, and allowed him to simply look at her without feeling too embarrassed. He gave her a thorough once over, taking in her legs, her hips, her breasts, eyes, hair and other features. He couldn't deny that he liked what he saw. "Is this the first time you've seen a naked bloke, Tonks?" he asked, the very epitome of innocence.

Tonks flamed red like an enlarged hemorrhoid. She stuttered and stammered while he merely cocked a brow. "Er… I, you…. Uh…" she trailed off as she continued to stare at him. After a few seconds, she managed to regain her facilities, and although she was still blushing, she teased him. "Rather well, endowed, aren't you, Harry? It's only right after all, that the Chosen One is well hung, eh?"

Harry felt the blood begin to rush both up and down at her words. He pushed it away. He didn't need to embarrass himself anymore than he already had. He especially couldn't handle it if she caught him with an erection. He'd have to slash his wrists or something.

He just cleared his throat, turned around and dug out some clothes. He put them on, well aware that Tonks was watching every movement. He finished dressing, turned around, and looked at her once more. She was still a Weasley red and a part of Harry cheered that his body could make a woman, let alone a girl, blush.

"So, um, what are you doing here?" he asked.

Tonks shook her head twice to clear it and her blush disappeared. "Ah, that. Didn't Dumbledore tell you to be ready for an Occlumency lesson sometime on Tuesday?"

"Uh, yeh, he did. Didn't mention it was going to be you teaching me though."

"Meh," she waved a hand. "Let's get to it."

The session was nothing like Snape's lessons. Tonks didn't barge straight in and rape his worst memories. She gave him a few minutes to find his focus and then proceeded to enter his mind, gently selecting through memories of inconsequential things. He could easily detect her presence in his mind, but it took a lot of effort to push her out. Tonks assured him that as he got better at pushing her out and ignoring the memories, she'd put more effort in and aim for harsher memories. Overall, she'd claimed that he would be able to do it, but it would take hard work and dedication.

Harry was heartened by that. He knew he could work hard, and he was definitely dedicated to the destruction of Voldemort.

Harry and Tonks spent a few minutes talking and then she left. Her parting comment was a low blow. "Oh, and next time you want to feel me up Harry, just ask." She was still grinning at Harry's gobsmacked expression as she disapparated.

Harry lay down to relax for a few minutes. He was about to slip into his state of calm or whatever they called it, when Hedwig suddenly flew in the open window. Harry gave her a bright smile and supplied her with numerous owl treats, patting her gently over and over.

She'd been out hunting when Voldemort had come. He remembered that much. Dumbledore had told him that she'd felt his distress when the fight occurred and had followed him to Hogwarts, where she'd spent several days waiting for him to come back to Privet Drive.

Harry continued to pat her as she nipped his fingers lovingly. "Hey girl," he murmured soothingly. "I'm glad you're back."

He left his beautiful friend to her owl treats and moved back to the bed to relax again. He was tired; the Occlumency had worn him out. He slowly focused on his breathing, the rise and fall of his chest mesmerizing him; just like every other time. Peace overtook him.

A flash of green light interrupted his Occlumency exercise and he shot up to look around as he heard a sound. For a second, he was reminded of Dudley's stupid 'Where's the cannon?' moment when Hagrid had found Harry on that bloody island, just before his first year at Hogwarts.

He reached for his glasses and finally found the source of the noise. There was no longer any green light, and a different sound was now coming from the source. A beautiful, yet sorrowful melody played throughout his bedroom as Harry looked up at a phoenix. Hedwig squawked and Harry heard a loud "Ruddy birds!" come from Aunt Petunia downstairs.

Harry studied the bird as it glided down to land on his still extended knee. Harry had thought Fawkes had looked powerful and majestic, but the phoenix perched on his knee was the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen. Its plumage was gold and green, and it was slightly smaller than Fawkes. The bird watched him with intelligent eyes as he struggled with the situation.

Eventually, what little Occlumency training he'd done kicked in and his mind calmed, and a relaxed state came upon him. "Er… are you here to deliver a message, my friend?" He asked the bird.

Harry thought he saw a microscopic shake of the creatures head, but he discounted it. "Okay," he murmured. He took a second to think. "Um, are you lost?" Again, Harry swore he saw a shake of the head. "Okay, didn't think so" he murmured again. "Er… I'm confused." His nervousness overtook him. "But then again, that happens quite often, so don't worry about that." _You're rambling to a bird, you moron! A PHOENIX!! _Hedwig agreed as she cuffed him around the head before settling right beside the phoenix on his other knee. The phoenix looked supremely amused. Neither of the birds talons pierced his skin.

"Are you…" he hesitated, thinking about the stupidity of his next statement. _There's just no way that's possible, is there? _He tried again. "Um…are you looking for a companion, by chance?"

He knew he'd got it right, and it amazed him that such a majestic creature would choose him for companionship. The phoenix gave a loud, ecstatic trill and began to sing. Harry felt his heart lift and a soft smile of true peace appeared on his face. Harry felt truly alive as he listened to the bird sing, Hedwig listening reverently right beside it. As the phoenix stopped singing, Harry continued smiling it, and Hedwig leaned over and nuzzled it in a friendly manner.

"So, you're going to travel with me and stuff?" he asked, just double checking. "Like Fawkes does with Dumbledore." The phoenix gave what Harry took to be a smile and flew up for him to pat it. He gently stroked its beautiful plumage and even stroked its beak. He heard what he thought was the phoenix equivalent of a cat's purr. "Cool," he breathed.

Harry blew out a breath as the enormity of the situation hit him. "Okay, I've got to find out what kind of food you eat and how to look after you." Hedwig looked reproachfully at him. Harry blinked, then realized. "Oh shit!" he blurted. Then he winced, not seeing the phoenix's amusement grow. "Sorry," he muttered before speaking again. "So, do you have a name?" Yep, the phoenix was definitely laughing at Harry. He scowled at it. The bird finally gave another one of those damned mini-head-shakes.

Harry gave a nod to show he understood. He thought for a second, then voiced his hunch. "You're female, aren't you? Alright, how about… Sophie?" That bloody bird was laughing!! "Um… Catarina?" Now Hedwig was joining in. Aunt Petunia had it right! Stupid ruddy birds! "Are you… er, Honoria?"

The phoenix, Honoria, gave a happy trill like before and landed on his shoulder where it nuzzled his face. A tingling sensation swept over him and voice spoke in his head. _Soon, young one…_

Harry frowned. He'd heard that somewhere before… He shook his head. Then he swallowed as something else occurred to him. "Um, I don't mean to make you mad, but you can only hang around if it's okay with Hedwig." Honoria tilted her head questioningly. "Well, it's just… she's been there with me through it all, and she was my first true friend. And I won't give that up for anything. Sorry."

The bird suddenly sung again, and Harry somehow knew that it understood his relationship with his owl. Hedwig, inspired by the song, flew to his other shoulder and began nuzzling his face as well. Harry took that to mean she accepted. _How the hell do I get myself into these situations?!_ Harry suddenly grinned. "Awesome. Hedwig, it looks like we've got a new member of the family."

Harry spent the next few hours just talking to his companions as they snacked on Hedwig's owl treats and flew around the room. The rest of the night passed, Harry practiced his Occlumency, and then he fell asleep with two birds watching over him.

----

The next day dawned brightly. Harry had gotten up, had his run, made breakfast for the Dursleys, and was now waiting in his room until he left for the construction site. All of a sudden, Hedwig soared through the open window.

"Hey girl," Harry greeted. He noticed a few letters clasped in her talons and relieved her of them. She nipped his finger and flew up to her cage, which Harry had cleaned a few days ago.

He looked the letters over; one from Ron, and one from Hermione. He couldn't read them now though. He had to get to work.

He arrived back at the house wearily at about two o'clock. He lumbered slowly up to the shower and then got out and got dressed. He checked his bedroom, making sure Tonks wasn't there before getting dressed. No need for a repeat of _that_ particular event.

Honoria was perched on his desk, asleep, but to Harry, it didn't look very comfortable. He wracked his brain for a second before an idea formed. "Dobby," he murmured. The exciteable little elf popped into existence and immediately began gushing that Harry Potter wanted to see him. "Dobby," he interrupted gently. The elf looked up with adoring eyes as he continued, "I need you to find me a perch suitable for a phoenix and an owl to share. Something nice. Money is no obstacle," he finished, handing the elf a handful of galleons.

Dobby skipped up and down, hopping from foot to foot. "Yes, sir, Harry Potter. Dobby will do it, Harry Potter, sir." The he popped out of existence.

Harry sighed. "I really wish he wouldn't call me 'sir'," Harry grumbled.

Dobby popped back up only a few minutes later, an exquisite bird stand towering above him. Harry greeted him with a smile. "That's perfect Dobby."

The house-elf continued bouncing around. "Anything else youse be needing, Harry Potter, sir?"

Harry opened his mouth to say no and that Dobby could go back to Hogwarts when he remembered. "Dobby, do you know what phoenixes prefer to eat and drink?"

"Yes, Harry Potter! Dobby will bring some! Dobby knows what pheexes love!!" Harry grabbed his arm before he could disapparate.

"Dobby, whatever it is, can you store it in an esky and make sure it won't go off until I can get more from Hogwarts? And can you do it at the school, cause, er, I don't really want to get another Ministry of Magic warning."

Dobby's guilt over the incident warred with his excitement at doing another task for Harry Potter. Excitement won. "Of course, Harry Potter" He disappeared. A few minutes later, he reappeared, an esky in hand.

Harry took it from him and stashed it under his bed. "Thanks Dobby." The small elf beamed and then said happily, "See you at Hogwarts, Harry Potter." Then he disappeared.

Harry stood still, as though waiting for him to reappear any second. When he didn't, Harry cautiously moved to the bed and bent down to retrieve the esky. "Whew, Dobby sure is excitable." He blew out a long breath. "Honoria," he called quietly.

She happily flew down to land on his knee while he opened up the esky to peer around. His eyes widened when he saw that Dobby had obviously put a charm on it to hold more than usual. "Wow."

He fished around and pulled out a plate of grapes. He plucked one for himself, then plucked another and hand-fed it to Honoria. She closed her eyes in what Harry thought was bird-ecstasy as she ate it. Harry continued feeding her grapes and patting her.

Harry heard a ruffle of wings and saw Hedwig flying back in from her hunt. As soon as she saw the grapes, she dropped the mouse onto the floor and flew to his other knee. But not without cuffing Harry around the head. Harry grunted and he swore that damn phoenix was laughing at him again! "Fine," he scowled. Then his tone softened. "Alright, Hedwig, next time we'll wait for you." Her answer was to pluck a grape from his hand.

He set the plate down and reached into the never-ending esky again, searching for a drink for his companions. He eventually touched a cup, and then clasped it and pulled it out. He lifted the lid off and smelled some kind of juice. He took a sip, tasting it and then offered it to Honoria first, Hedwig second - Hedwig was still munching on grapes. And there he sat, alternatively feeding and petting his two closest friends.

This was how Albus Dumbledore found him when he magically appeared in Harry's room. He let go of Fawkes tail and stared at the scene before him.

Harry looked up, gave a small nod to his Headmaster and then his eyes turned to Fawkes. "Fawkes, my friend," hey murmured enticingly. "Care for some grapes and juice?" Fawkes immediately flew over and settled on Harry's shoulder. Harry offered Fawkes the goblet of juice and then the plate full of grapes. Honoria began to sing.

Albus moved to sit on the only chair in Harry's room. "Good afternoon, Harry," he spoke. Harry looked up with a small smile on his face and nodded once again. "How was your lesson with Tonks yesterday?"

"It wasn't too bad. She's… well, she's not Snape. That's all I can really say about it."

Dumbledore's curiosity rose. "Was he really so terrible, Harry?"

Harry pointed to the book Dumbledore had given him, _Apt Applications of the Magical Mind_. "I learned more from that book than from Snivellus. The _only_ thing he said about how to occlude my mind was '_clear your mind, Potter!'_. That is the _only_ thing he said, Headmaster. And then, as if that wasn't enough, he starts with my worst memories, including Cedric in the graveyard. So tell me, _Headmaster_, is that not terrible?"

Dumbledore looked like a wounded animal. "I'm so sorry Harry. I never meant… I just wanted you to be prepared. I'll be having a very stern discussion with Severus," he said firmly.

Harry just shrugged. "It's done. Plus, the gits not worth dwelling on. Let's just get on with this training, hmm?"

Dumbledore bowed his head, conceding to Harry's request. He wouldn't let Severus' actions go unpunished though. He made a silent promise right then and there. Forgetting about it for the moment, he indicated that Harry follow him. The two phoenixes and Hedwig flew up and perched on Harry's new stand and Harry stood up and followed the Headmaster.

They exited the house, and as they walked, Harry contemplated. Was he being too harsh on Dumbledore? The man had saved his life last year, and Harry had paid him back by trashing his office. But then again, he'd treated Harry like a child, deliberately ignored him and withheld the piece of information that led to Sirius' death. _No_, he decided. _I'm not being too harsh._

Harry's hand absently moved to his pocket, searching for his wand. Of course, it wasn't there. When he and Tom had dueled, it had cracked in that enormous green sphere of death that had engulfed both duelers. Harry's hand itched; he felt naked without his wand. More naked than when Tonks had walked in on him.

"Where did you get your magnificent companion, Harry?" Dumbledore broke Harry from his thoughts.

Harry considered challenging the old man with 'which one?', then debated whether or not to answer any of the man's questions at all, but decided it would be childish to ignore him. "She just showed up. Right after Tonks' Occlumency lesson, actually. Her name's Honoria."

"Ah," Dumbledore exclaimed. "A fitting name for such a beautiful creature."

Harry was quiet for awhile before he asked, "Where are we going, sir?"

Dumbledore abruptly stopped and Harry looked around. They had reached the end of the block and were amongst a cluster of trees. Harry looked inquisitively at the old man.

"You have not yet been taught to apparate, Harry?"

"No, sir."

Dumbledore smiled. "While we're alone Harry, you may call me Albus."

Harry frowned; it was hard to stay angry at the old coot. "Alright, Albus. Are we apparating somewhere?"

"Precisely, Harry. Now, if you'll hold onto my arm tightly, we'll be on our way."

Harry did as Albus asked, then felt as though he was being dragged through an extremely tight tube. He shivered and looked around. He jerked in alarm at all the people surrounding him, then realized they weren't surrounding him, they were just walking. "London?" he guessed.

"Yes, Harry: London. I know you have questions, and I shall answer those in a minute." He then led Harry another block or so towards a park and sat down on a bench.

The afternoon breeze wafted gently by and Harry found himself enjoying sitting in the sunshine. "I have just charmed the bench Harry. No one will notice us, and no one will feel inclined to try and relieve us of our seat."

Harry gave a hesitant nod, and then blurted, "What are we doing here?"

Albus gave a mysterious smile. "We are here, Harry, for your training."

Harry looked around at all the people walking by. They looked like muggles. And London was definitely a muggle city. Everything was muggle. So why the _hell_ would the greatest wizard in the world train his, er – was Harry his protégé? He didn't know – anyway, why would he train anyone here in such a public muggle park?

Dumble – Albus, he corrected himself – seemed to know what Harry was thinking. "We are in such a public place Harry, filled with people, because we are going to study them."

"Study muggles? That doesn't seem right. They won't help me defeat Voldemort." Albus looked on as Harry tried to work it out. "Muggles won't help me. So we're not here for muggles. So," this time he spoke directly to Dumbledore," we're here to study the people?"

The old man clapped his hands three times. "Bravo, Harry."

"Er…" Harry looked around again. It was a good idea… for a psychologist. Harry wasn't one of those; he was a wizard. "This might seem like a dumb question, but _why_ are we going to study the people?" Harry was definitely grateful that Albus found him worthy enough to train personally, but he'd expected something a little more, well… more.

"It's a perfectly reasonable question, Harry. We are going to study the people, Harry, because you are going to learn to read them. I will teach you to pick up various signs indicating when a person is stressed, excited, injured, insane, and so much more. I once read a book, Harry, back in my youth, fictional of course, where a battalion commander was able to defeat any race of man, as long as he had studied their artwork. And it inspired me, Harry."

Harry looked doubtful and he wasn't afraid to show it. "Ah, Harry. I have lived a long time. I had to do something to fill it in," Albus said with a sudden smile. "So, yes, Harry. We will study the people."

And they did. Albus pointed out specific people and asked Harry to look for indicators or what he called 'cues' that would let them know how a person was feeling and so on. He explained that if a person had short finger nails, they may be easily prone to stress and had taken up the habit of biting them; if a person walked extremely stiff and erect, Dumbledore would explain that that could be an indication of a high status in the community, or a sign of great wealth. Albus seemed pleased with Harry's progress, although Harry didn't see the point. The elder wizard just said that Harry would understand it all after a few more weeks.

Sunset was creeping up quickly by the time the old man called a halt to their observations. He had Harry firmly grab his arm and apparted them away. Harry blinked as he looked around and recognized Diagon Alley. He opened his mouth to ask a question, then closed it. Albus had apparated them to a secluded spot right next to Ollivanders, so it was obvious that he didn't want anyone to know Harry was here.

Albus grabbed Harry's arm and steered him gently into the wand shop. Harry felt the hair on his neck stand up and an alarmed feeling settled on him. He peered to the left, then whirled to the right, his hand going for his wand - his pocket was empty! – he looked up sharply into the face of Ollivander, with those creepy glasses.

"Ah, Mr. Potter," he murmured smoothly. "Fancy seeing you here. How is your phoenix wand?" he inquired.

Harry scowled. Behind him, Dumbledore chuckled. "That's why we're here, Octavius. Harry needs a new wand." Harry's scowl deepened as Mr. Ollivander looked shrewdly at Harry.

"Does he now?" he asked, a hard edge to his voice.

Harry stiffened his spine and glared back at him. _Be confident! And if that doesn't work, be pissed off! _He wasn't going to take any crap from some uptight wand-making prick. The old coot seemed to read his thoughts and smiled, suddenly cheerful again. "Very good, Mr. Potter," he murmured, surprising the boy.

"A duel with Voldemort, was it? It was splashed about all over the papers. Seemed to give the people hope."

Dumbledore cleared his throat.

"Ah, forgive me Albus. I got lost on a tangent of thought. Is it to be a custom wand? Please, come on through to the back. Can't have it known that I make custom wands."

Harry followed, and was about to ask why when he realized it didn't really matter. He had said he was going to change, and he was. And that included focusing on only relevant information. Although, one day, he'd make it a point to come back and ask.

The trio moved past a curtain and entered a workshop… of sorts. There was junk everywhere. Weird gadgets lay around, clustered amongst wand boxes, stacked up against the walls.

"Over here," Ollivander called.

Harry followed the older men to a bench. It had only a small number of tools on it, and they looked interesting to Harry. Perhaps, one day, if he managed to dispose of Tom, he could learn to how craft wands and such.

"Now, to start, please don't touch anything, Mr. Potter. Now, you shall have to select a core, a shaft, and a finish. Remember, the wand chooses the wizard, Mr. Potter. So, wave your hand over these and tell me if you feel anything."

Harry walked forward to a display of vials, feathers, tentacles and many other things. He passed his hand over the top of them, but he felt nothing. "Nothing," he relayed to the wand maker. "What's this for? The core, the shaft or the finish?"

"The core, Mr. Potter. So, you reacted with none? Odd indeed. Hmm." He seemed to think very seriously for a few moments. Harry noticed Albus sucking on something – probably a lemon drop – and walking around merely looking at all the items around the place. Ollivander suddenly snapped out of his contemplation and turned intense eyes on Harry. "Mr. Potter, do you have any creatures that you feel a certain affinity with?"

"Affinity?" Harry said blankly. "Er… well, I have two familiars, or rather, companions."

"And do you feel a special connection with one of them?"

"With both, actually."

Ollivander's eyes lit up. "Indeed? Perhaps you could bring them here? Albus, can you apparate and get them?"

"No need," Harry interrupted. He scrunched up his face in concentration and tried to find his focus. _Honoria,_ he called. _Can you bring Hedwig with you and find me? I need your help with my new wand._ Harry heard a trill in his head, and grinned. It had worked!!

Phoenix song suddenly filled the back room, and Albus and Harry looked up with a smile. Ollivander started looking around, eyes darting left and right, wondering what was going on. Suddenly, Honoria, Hedwig and Fawkes appeared out of nowhere. The two phoenixes were singing.

"Oh my!" Ollivander exclaimed. "This is incredible. Which two are yours, Mr. Potter?"

Harry felt indignation well up inside of him on behalf of his companions. "They're not mine!" he snapped. "It's more like I'm theirs."

Ollivander waved it away. "Relationship semantics," he complained. "Which two?"

Harry didn't have to answer as both Hedwig and Honoria, in all their splendor, glided down and landed on Harry's shoulders. Ollivander looked like a kid who just won a million dollars who got to visit a chocolate factory. "Well now," he whispered reverently. "This will be one hell of wand. Mr. Potter, you shall need to collect a tail feather from your phoenix and a wing feather from your rather intelligent owl."

Harry scowled, but nevertheless turned to each animal as they willingly gave up what was asked of them. He carefully passed the two feathers to the wand-maker, who was giddy, but eventually he managed to get himself under control.

He cleared his throat, then asked, "Now, Mr. Potter. Kindly run your hand over this selection of woods to determine your shaft."

Harry gave a sigh and did so. The second to last one jumped into his hand, giving him a shock. "Well now," Ollivander said again. "This just gets better and better, doesn't it!"

"What type of wood is it?"

"It is Elvish Mirkwood, Mr. Potter. The only piece I have ever found. The only remnant I've ever found that gave evidence to the existence of the true Elven people. You are destined for great things, Mr. Potter, if this wood has chosen you."

Harry looked uneasy. He hated it when people told him things like that. He looked around at Albus, only to find him deep in thought, and it didn't look like comforting thoughts.

"Now, Mr. Potter, we must determine your wood finish. Wave your hand over these, please."

Harry did, and nothing happened. "Nothing."

Ollivander scowled, and it didn't look good on his face. He began muttering under his breath, and paced backwards and forwards.

Harry wanted to get this done soon. He wanted to go home and sleep. "Erm… what type of substance or object does the finish need to be? Something I feel an affinity with?"

Something Harry said must have triggered something in Ollivander's brain, because he became very excited. "Oh, you're brilliant boy!! Now, what's something you truly hate?"

Harry didn't hesitate before answering, "Voldemort."

"Yes, well that's all well and good, but we can't extract his essence to put the finishing touches on your wand now, can we?"

Harry cast around his memories for something he hated. His memories lead him to school. Voldemort, in all his years. Slytherins taunting him and Ron. Snape, with that useless cape he wears. What did they all have in common? _Hmm, _he thought, _they're all in Slytherin._ His heart suddenly started beating harder in his chest, and his sense heightened, making him more aware of everything. _Slytherins. Voldemort, slytherins… snakes. Voldemort likes snakes. Cunning like a snake. Snape certainly slithers around the castle like a git, er, like a snake. A snake? No, not just a snake, something else._

His mind reached a conclusion._ … A Basilisk…?_

"A Basilisk?" he voiced out loud.

Ollivander turned sharply to him. "Explain."

Harry took a deep breath before explaining his reasoning. It essentially began with Voldemort and moved to Snape, and then to Malfoy. The common denominator was Slytherin, and the symbol for that was snakes. And the king of serpents was a Basilisk.

When he was done, Dumbledore looked surprised, and impressed. "That's very good reasoning, Harry." Harry felt a small well of pride at the Headmasters words.

"It is good reasoning," Ollivander agreed, "But I have very limited Basilisk supplies in stock. I only have a small patch of hide."

Harry squirmed again. He didn't want to do this, but he needed a wand. _Damnit! What kind of wizard needs a wand? Honestly?! _"Erm, I can give you a Basilisk."

"Of course," Dumbledore murmured in realisation. "The Chamber of Secrets."

"But then again," Harry continued, mumbling, "I could sell that for a lot of money and put it towards a charity or something." He didn't notice the older wizards listening in closely. "Hmm… I suppose I could get the fangs and give them to Ollivander. Maybe give some basilisk venom to Snivellus… _nah!_ That guy's a git. Hmm." He continued debating it in his head, then looked up at Ollivander. "How much will this wand cost me?" he asked.

"You get me a Basilisk fang to work with and you can have it for free. After all, you did provide all the ingredients."

"And my finish? Would it be logical to use Basilisk venom?"

Ollivander's eyes gleamed. "Basilisk venom!! That would be perfect. The feathers give you courage and intelligence, and the venom will give you offensive and destructive power. That will be a very evenly balanced wand."

"Alright then," Harry said, and he reached over, grabbed a generic wand of a table, grasped Honoria's tail and disappeared.

Albus and Octavius waited a few minutes before he reappeared in a flash of phoenix fire. "No troubles, Harry?" Dumbledore asked.

"No, Albus. The Chamber is several miles underground. It's not within the Hogwarts Wards, so no troubles."

Dumbledore gave a nod and Harry proceeded to give Ollivander a fang and a vial of venom.

"This will be the creation of a lifetime," Ollivander marveled. He gathered the feathers with the venom and the Elven Mirkwood. He looked at it in awe, then his face turned upside down into a frown. "Needs something else."

He turned to look at Harry, who looked back without flinching. Eventually, Ollivander's eyes moved around the room to settle on Fawkes, who was waiting on Dumbledore's shoulder, sitting there patiently as though he'd known he'd be needed to provide something

"Albus, could you possibly persuade your phoenix to lend a few tears? The blessing of two phoenixes to a single wand would be astounding."

Albus gave a cheerful "Of course, of course." and got to it. Now the feathers and venom were joined by the tears.

"And there's just one thing left, Mr. Potter. I need a vial of your blood."

"Oh." Harry blinked. "Er, righto. Erm, Professor, if you would?"

"Certainly Harry." Soon, Dumbledore placed a small vial of Harry's blood on table, having made a small cut on his palm. Dumbledore healed it with a flick of his wand and Harry nodded his thanks.

Ollivander, now that he had something to do and things to work with seemed to want them gone as quickly as possible. "Brilliant. You can come back for your wand in three days. It will be ready then." With that he ushered Albus and Harry from the shop and slammed the door behind them.

Harry blinked at the abrupt dismissal.

"Well, Harry. Shall we?"

Harry gave a nod and grasped Dumbledore's arm, and they apparated back to Privet Drive.

----

A/N: I know it's a cliché that Harry always gets a custom wand, but I don't care. This is how it's always happened in my mind, so that's how it's getting done in this fic.


	5. Scenes From a Memory

**Summary:**

AU: Sirius is dead, the ministry has acknowledged Voldemort's return, and the rift between Harry and everything around him deepens. Things are spinning out of control and many surprises are around the corner…..

**Note:**

This story is post-OoTP. It will cover the summer after Sirius' death and Harry's 6th school year. I may also extend it to include his 7th year, but I haven't decided. Not sure of the pairings yet. Harry will become involved with multiple girls/women, but will only ultimately fall for one. **This story WILL contain sexual content, so if you don't like reading sex scenes, don't fuckin' read the story. It will also contain violence and coarse language, so meh.**

----

**Previously:**

----

"_Brilliant. You can come back for your wand in three days. It will be ready then."_

_Harry blinked at the abrupt dismissal. _

"_Well, Harry. Shall we?"_

_Harry gave a nod and grasped Dumbledore's arm and they apparated back to Privet Drive. _

----

**Chapter 5: Scenes from a Memory**

_Somewhere like a scene from a memory, There's a picture worth a thousand words._

----

Having nothing else to do, Harry finally got around to answering the letters from his friends. Harry leafed through Ron's letter.

_Hey mate,_

_How ya doin?! The muggles aren't treating you bad, are they?_

_Got a letter from Hermione the other day, kept bagging on about studying for our NEWTS and worrying about her OWL marks and stuff. I could barely finish reading it, it gave me such a headache!_

_I think she's writing to Krum again, too! How can she stand that git. He's so… Bulgarian!! Stupid fruitcake! She should stay well away from him, I reckon._

_Anyway, I gotta go. Mum's beating me over the head to come down to dinner. I'll try and get you away from the muggles as soon as I can, mate. See ya later._

_Ron_

Harry let out a sigh. _Same old Ron. _Still more concerned with Hermione and Krum than anything to do with the war or his future. But then again, that was what Harry loved about him. Harry was glad he didn't ask about Sirius, but he knew Ron was thinking about it. He was probably scared of Harry flying off the handle, and given the way Harry acted last year, he didn't blame him.

Harry put Ron's letter to the side and picked up Hermione's letter. He opened it and something slipped out. He picked it up and grimaced when he saw a pamphlet aimed at grief councelling. _The Five stages of Grief,_ he read. He tossed it across the room and turned to the letter, the familiar flowing script inside.

_Dear Harry,_

_How are you? You can't blame yourself for Sirius' death! It wasn't your fault! Besides, you need to focus on your OWL marks and your upcoming NEWTS. You can't slip up now, Harry! You need to concentrate on study, and bring your marks up this year! Now that Umbridge isn't at Hogwarts, it should be a lot easier for you, shouldn't it?_

_Anyway, my parents and I are heading to France for a holiday. I know we've already been, but we all loved it, so we're going again! It's going to be so exciting!! Wish me luck, Harry. I'm hoping to find a few more libraries to browse through. I'll see you when we get back!_

_Love, Hermione_

Yep, same old Hermione too. Always direct, always to the point. Ron avoided Sirius, and Hermione smashed Harry over the head with it. Harry loved his friends, he truly did, but they were too set in their ways. He couldn't summon the energy to write an individual letter back to both of them. So, he penned one letter that encompassed both Ron and Hermione and everyone else who might want to read it.

_Dear everyone,_

_I imagine Ron will probably read this first, but pass it around mate. Anyone who wants to read it can read it._

_Anyway, in regards to your letters, I'm doing fine. You probably won't believe that, but I am. I've been meeting with Remus and Tonks and we've been all sharing stories and having a laugh at Sirius' expense, and I'm fine with it. Well, not fine, but you know._

_That means, Hermione, I don't want anymore useless pamphlets on the nine stages of grief or whatever they are. I'll talk about Sirius to you guys when I'm ready. Please don't pressure me, or it'll just get harder._

_Anyway, about the summer so far. I've got a construction job down the street, and I'm working mornings there. Seem to be building up some muscle too. Hope so! Haha! I'm tired of looking scrawny. Oh! And speaking of scrawny, Mad-Eye's warning at the train station scared the crap out of the Dursleys, so I'm getting a few decent meals over here (as long as I cook them)._

_I've been getting training from a few people as well. I'm being instructed in Occlumency by someone I trust, and Dumbledore's giving me a few lessons in some things. I won't say what, but there's no way you'll believe what we're doing. I've got some other news too, but I don't want to put it in a letter._

_Anyway, that's really all I've got to say. I appreciate the letters, but please don't write back guys. I've gotten into a routine these holidays, and I'm finally learning over the summer and enjoying myself. So, please, just wait until I get taken away from here, or until we meet at Hogwarts. _

_Say hi to everyone for me, including your parents, and let anyone who's worried about me read this._

_With love, Harry._

Harry finished up and called Hedwig over. He tied the letter to her leg, she nipped his ear, and then she was gone, flying straight to the Weasleys. Honoria gave a mournful chirp from beside him. Harry gave her a smile. After all, she was the newest member of the family, now consisting of Harry, Hedwig and Honoria. Harry thought about that for a second. _Lots of alliteration, isn't there?_ Then he had to wonder how he knew what alliteration meant. Must be Hermione's influence on him.

After he finished his letter, Harry felt restless. He wanted to do his construction job and get out of the house. Hell, he'd take another session with Dumbledore, learning whether the arse twitches to the left or to the right when someone farts.

He fingered his new wand. Harry had gone back three days later to Ollivanders to collect it. Dumbledore had taken him, and while the other trip had taken nearly an hour and a half, this one had only taken seven minutes. Harry had wanted to stay longer and have a look around Diagon Alley, but Dumbledore had insisted that they hurry. Harry understood why, but he didn't have to like it. So, they'd come back here, to Privet Drive, and Dumbledore had left Harry alone.

In those three days, Harry had met with Tonks again for another Occlumency lesson. It was pretty much the same as the first one. Similar memories, and a similar work load. She'd claimed he'd made progress, and he couldn't see why Tonks had a reason to lie.

Every time she dug around through his memories, Harry couldn't help but feel closer to the attractive blonde. It lifted a silent burden off his shoulders to know that he didn't have to completely hide his childhood from every single person in the world. Tonks had experienced what he'd been through. Good and bad. He'd hazard a guess that by the time Harry became proficient in Occlumency, she'd know Harry better than he knew himself.

But Harry was also getting to know her as well. He'd managed a few times to repel her mental attacks and send them back towards her. He'd seen flashes of images, and afterwards they both asked questions about what they both saw. It was coming to the stage, she said, that next lesson, they'd have to progress onto memories that would hurt a lot more so Harry could practice ignoring them in favour of thrusting Tonks from his mind.

Harry wasn't looking forward to that, but it was necessary.

Harry moved to his bed and lay down, beginning to find his focus. "Honoria," he murmured drowsily. She gave a happy chirp and flew over to land on his chest. She crooned gently for awhile and then they both fell asleep.

----

Another week passed in Harry's routine, and his birthday was about 8 days away. More Occlumency lessons had passed, and Harry was feeling more relaxed around Tonks than ever before. He'd never felt like he could truly be himself around anyone else. Not even Sirius. And here he was, spilling his guts through memories, both good and bad. Harry had also had more daily sessions with Dumbledore, and he was starting to understand that what Dumbledore was teaching him would make him a better wizard, and not a better weapon. Learning to observe and being aware of his environment was proving very beneficial for him. His new mental prowess was accompanied by a greater understanding of what made people human. He could tell when people were lying, or withholding something; he knew many different signs of frustration and indicators that told him someone was going to resort to violence.

Harry and Dumbledore had had their sessions each afternoon, and normally Harry was taken to the same area and the same bench for their observations. The day came that Dumbledore instead took him to the Hogwarts gate and they walked to the school. Harry had walked beside the old man, waiting for him to explain. He no longer asked where they were going, or what they were doing; he was now well aware that Dumbledore would tell him what he needed to know when he was ready. It taught Harry the value of patience, but he still struggled with it. He was a curious person by nature, and he always wanted answers.

So Harry had simply followed the Headmaster passed the entrance to the castle and out behind Hagrid's hut. The old man had then turned to Harry and explained that he was going to learn Apparition. Dumbledore had explained the theory and how to do it, and then put some pressure on Harry by stating that he would only have two three hour sessions to master the skill. Needless to say, Harry had taken up the challenge and had managed it by the end of the first lesson. He had splinched himself twice before he perfected it.

The second session had gone even better. Harry had successfully apparated around the grounds (the Headmaster had cast charms that allowed him to do it) and then Albus and Harry had began apparating to different landmarks; Hogsmeade, Privet Drive, the park where Dumbledore took Harry every other day. When Dumbledore thought he had mastered it, he had given Harry a smile and a nod, and then the next day they were back in the park, once again observing people and learning the need for patience and caution.

He'd also had more boxing sessions with Dudley and had continued his running. Overall, he was getting quite fit. His muscles had also sprung up out of nowhere, the result of a lot of heavy lifting on the construction site.

The burn on Harry's chest was also healing, courtesy of daily potions from Madam Pomfrey, delivered by Fawkes. The outer parts of the burn had healed, but Poppy had told him that she didn't think the burn would ever truly be gone. It now only gave Harry a dull twinge whenever he strained too hard.

So, aside from his burn and the continued presence of the Dursleys, this summer was shaping up to be the best one yet.

"Harry?" called a voice.

"In here Tonks," he called. "On the bed."

Tonks sauntered in with an eager expression on her face. "Ooh! Frisky already huh Harry? Can't wait to get me in the sack?"

Harry just smiled at her attempt to embarrass him. He hadn't become immune to being embarrassed by sexual taunts and such, but he'd learned how to swallow his embarrassment and deal out just as much as he took. Hence, he leered at Tonks like a drunken yobbo.

She broke out into laughter at his face. "Haha!! We seem to have fixed your embarrassment problem, Harry. You don't blush for me anymore," she suddenly pouted.

"Maybe you need to take it further, Tonksy," he teased.

She just pouted further, then sobered. Then did a complete 180 as her stance turned seductive. She sauntered up to the bed, her hips swaying, her curves hypnotizing. She placed one knee on the bed, right between Harry's thighs and leaned forwards to whisper in his ear. One of her hands sensually rubbed his stomach and chest. "Ready for your lesson?"

Harry just swallowed, his heart jumping up into his throat, his blood pumping in his ears. His inarticulate speech was very flattering, Tonks thought. She blew softly on his ear and Harry jerked, then scrambled away, moving back as far as he could against the wall.

Tonks laughed, then turned her focus to their Occlumency lesson. They had been having lessons for nearly two and a half weeks and Tonks seemed more giddy than usual to be in his head. Harry, in his hormonal state, managed to cock a brow. She smirked at him. "Dumbledore thinks it's a good idea to incorporate Legilimency into your Occlumency training."

Harry frowned. "Isn't that what you've been doing? Using Legilimency on me?"

"No, no, Harry. I mean he wants you to learn Legilimency too. He thinks if you understand what to do to break into someone's mind, it'll be easier for you to defend yours."

Harry considered the logic behind Dumbledore's request. He'd read about Legilimency from Dumbledore's book, _Apt Applications of the Magical Mind_, and they made several references to people that learned Occlumency and Legilimency together and achieved better results. Then again, it had warned that someone who tried it may not get any results whatsoever. It also stated it was a lot harder to concentrate.

"Well… I guess we can give it a shot."

"Awesome. Now, just so you're aware, Double D has expressed a theory that you will be rather exceptional at Legilimency."

"Why would he think that?" Harry asked.

"Well, he said you're much better at finding the truth than you are at hiding it." Harry couldn't disagree with that so he just nodded.

Tonks' smile brightened and she jumped up onto the bed, then settled down next to him. "Alright Harry, we'll start with Legilimency. What I want you to do is find your focus, then point your wand at me and use the incantation 'Legilimens'. Then concentrate solely on breaking into my mind."

"Okay." But Harry's voice sounded uncertain. He didn't want to look at the wrong memory and make Tonks hate him.

She smiled indulgently, as though she knew exactly what he was thinking about. "It's alright, Harry. I trust you. And if you stumble on something I don't want you to… well, that's a chance we'll have to take if you want to learn it."

Harry was still uncertain, but he got on with it. She gave a nod, and he pointed his wand and murmured, "_**Legilimens!"**_

No images flashed before him, no feelings came to him. This was nothing like when someone did it to him. Harry focused and tried to move forward, into the nothingness that he could feel. Abruptly he came across a barrier. He tried to push, physically envisioning his hands pushing against an invisible wall. He strained and strained, then slumped from the effort. He blinked and found himself back in his room, sweat running down his brow.

"Harry," Tonks murmured patiently. "You can't regret breaking into the mind. You must _want_ to get him. You must _want_ to see what someone is hiding. You can't hesitate, and you need to be confident; you _need_ to believe you can do it."

Harry gave a nod, took a deep breath and used his sleeve to wipe the sweat off his face. He took a minute to control his breathing, then pointed his wand and once again murmured, "_**Legilimens!"**_

Harry tried again and failed again, and numerous attempts followed. Tonks then gave him five minutes to collect himself before trying one more time.

"_**Legilimens!"**_

This time, his mind was completely focused. No doubts encroached on him; he didn't hesitate to sift through the memories that he swarmed through. He saw a six year old girl, swinging on a swing, her mother and father behind her. He saw the same girl, a year or two older, standing in front of a mirror; her hair was changing colour. She was sixteen, about to kiss her first bloke. She was seventeen, and the same bloke was asking-

Harry felt himself thrown backwards and hit his head against the wall. "Oof!" he grunted. He drew in his breath, trying to get the necessary oxygen. Sweat was back on his forehead.

He heard Tonks gasp. "I'm so sorry, Harry!" She moved towards him and took his head in her hands, fingers probing for injury. He gave a wince as she touched the back of his head. He looked up at her and noticed she had sweat on her brow as well.

She gave a tentative smile. "You, er, you were better at it than I thought. You were certainly a lot more focused. You didn't feel any doubts or hesitancy about invading my mind?"

Harry shook his head. "No. I knew it was wrong, but I also knew it was necessary, and that made it easier."

Tonks gave a bright smile. "Good. Whew! The way you're going with Legilimency, I'd say you could be a master of it after another few months or so. You're certainly better at Legilimency than you are at Occlumency."

Harry winced as she inadvertently insulted him. _It's true though. I'm better at finding the truth than I am at hiding it. Maybe…_ Harry decided to voice his thoughts. "Tonks, when I did the Legilimency, I focused on how much I needed to enter your mind and how I needed to know the truth. Maybe… maybe if, when doing Occlumency, I focused on how much I need to hide the truth…" He looked at the women to see her reaction to his reasoning.

Tonks was deep in thought. "Well," she murmured, "you seem to be adept at magic when it's driven by will and intent. Maybe if we applied the same idea to your Occlumency and Legilimency…" she trailed off and both she and Harry were thinking about whether or not it would increase his mind magic capabilities.

"Alright Harry. Next time, when I attempt to break into your mind, I want you to focus on hiding the truth. It's at least worth a try. But not till next time. I want you to once more try and breach my brain," she smirked, confident in her own abilities.

Harry pondered for a second. "Tonks… erm, what was it? That that guy was going to ask?" Harry's training with Dumbledore allowed him to pick up the microscopic flinch, and the emotional walls she retreated behind. Then they disappeared and she smirked tauntingly.

"Break into my mind, and I'll tell you."

Harry gave a sigh, focused for a few seconds, then stabbed out with his wand. "_**Legilimens!"**_

He saw Tonks, riding a red toy bike, laughing - the image froze. Harry tried to move onto another one, but he couldn't. A pressure was trying to push him away, and he strained to maintain his foothold in her mind. He pushed harder, and he focused every fibre of his being onto finding out what that guy had asked her in seventh year. He found the memory, voices spoke in his ear. "Why don't you make your milkers bigger, Tonks? You'd be a lot more popular."

Harry stiffened as he heard the question and rage boiled in him as he heard the bastard leer at her. His control had disappeared, and he was lost. Images were flying by, and he was heading towards something. He thought he heard Tonks whimper out in the physical world, but he couldn't focus on it. His rage disappeared as image after image whirled before his eyes. He couldn't focus, and it was swallowing him whole! Harry blacked out, not noticing that Tonks had done the same.

----

Harry came to the waking world slowly, and his head pounded far worse than when he'd had that hangover with Tonks and Remus. Images flashed in front of him, but this time they were his own. He groaned, then looked up.

Tonks was sitting there, looking unblinkingly at him. She seemed both murderous and heartbroken at the same time. "I saw everything, Harry," she whispered. "Your childhood, your years at Hogwarts. I saw Cedric."

Harry flinched and ducked his head. "What happened?" he asked.

"I'm not sure," she whispered. She moved forward and put a single finger under his chin, lifting it up. "Harry… d-did you see… did you see a-all my…?" She seemed on the verge of tears.

Harry looked her in the eyes. He wanted to look away, but he couldn't. His eyes prickled, filling with tears, against his will. "That son of a bitch asked you to – to change. And he wasn't the only one." Harry was whispering as well. What they'd just been through seemed to deserve it. Harry felt that if he spoke louder than a whisper, the mood would break, the event wouldn't receive the respect it deserved, and Tonks would probably try and kill him.

They looked at each other for a few seconds that seemed like an eternity, then the flood gates flew open and Harry reached forward and pulled Tonks towards him. Emotion swelled around them as they cried on each other's shoulders. Magic crackled around the room as they spent themselves emotionally.

Harry eventually stirred, and he lay down, pulling Tonks with him. She once again buried her head in his shoulder and sniffled. Harry pulled his covers over and whispered reassurances to her. Honoria sung a tune from the corner of the room. It was both mournful and cheerful, as though the phoenix was glad this had happened to her companion and his friend.

Harry tried to lighten the mood. "Want me to kill them all?"

She gave a reluctant twitch that signified she had laughed. "No," she said, finally looking up into his eyes again. "Not worth you going to Azkaban."

Harry just grumbled about 'stupid pricks that I've gotta kill'. Tonks giggled. "Honestly Harry, its fine. I got over that stuff a long time ago."

Harry didn't think so, but he stayed silent. If she'd gotten over it, then she wouldn't have flinched when he asked about what the guy said before he stole it from her mind. And with that thought, guilt welled up inside him for what he'd done. "I'm sorry, Tonks. I didn't mean to–"

He was interrupted by Tonks placing a finger on his lips. "It's fine Harry. I don't know how it happened, but I know that it's happened before when people learn Occlumency and Legilimency. You and I were getting kind of close anyway; this just – this just quickened the process."

"I guess," Harry mumbled. "Still, I'm sorry."

Tonks just stayed silent and Harry thought she really was angry with him when he heard her deepened breathing. Tonks was asleep. _How do I get myself into these messes? _He asked himself.

Harry stopped worrying, placed his glasses and his wand on the stand next to his bed, let out a breath and went to sleep.

----

Another few days had passed, and Harry felt his Occlumency was getting a lot better. He'd have to ask Tonks and Dumbledore to find out. He'd also been trying to use Legilimency on his relatives. Anytime he was sitting down to eat a meal with them, he tried to make eye-contact with his Aunt, to try and get a glimpse of her thoughts. He'd been successful a few times, proving Tonks right in her theory that he was better at Legilimency than he was at Occlumency.

Speaking of Tonks, she had seemed remarkably unfazed by what had occurred between her and Harry. Harry had thought she'd wake up on his chest, remembered that he'd all but copied her memories and beat the snot out of him. She did none of the above. Harry was surprised as hell when she woke up, looked up at him and then burrowed deeper into his body and went back to sleep.

Harry had actually found himself more concerned with how easy and… comfortable it had been when sharing his bed with a woman. There'd been no sexual activity whatsoever, but Harry had found a new kind of safety when he was holding Tonks in his arms. Harry wondered if this was what all physical intimacy was like. _Is this how all people feel when they touch? When they kiss? Bloody well didn't feel this way when Cho was dripping tears on me._

He made the decision to try and find out more about it at Hogwarts. _I'll have to get close to a few girls, but that doesn't seem like such a sacrifice,_ he thought with a grin. Spending more time with Tonks had made him realize how curious he was about sex and other forms of intimacy. Hell, he was Harry Potter! He could get a girl. He hoped. Harry frowned. He wasn't any good with girls and women. He just… he'd never known proper interaction with anyone, let alone females. The Dursleys had done their job well. _'You must want to find the truth Harry! You must be confident!'_ Tonks' words filtered through his head, and he decided she was right. Harry needed to be more confident. He had to learn to talk to girls, hold up a conversation with them; he had to learn to accept all that bloody attention he received. Didn't have to like it, but he had to get used to it, because it sure as hell wasn't going away. He had to be more confident, with _everything._ Girls, school, adults, figures of authority. _Everything!_ Harry nodded his head resolutely. He was going to change.

Harry's mind drifted from Tonks and his confidence issues to Remus. Remus hadn't come by as often as Tonks had in the past week or two, but now he was coming around every day. Every time he came, he brought a small bottle of FireWhiskey that he and Harry shared, and he proceeded to teach Harry how to play the guitar. As he taught, he and Harry reminisced further about Sirius and the Marauders (except Wormtail). Harry proved to be a surprisingly good guitarist, when he concentrated. His fingers had a natural dexterity that allowed him to move from string to string and up and down the neck of the guitar. Both Harry and Remus were proud of Harry's progress.

Harry turned off the tap and stepped out of the shower. He moved into his room and got dressed. Work had been harsh today; he'd spent the entire morning shoveling dirt and gravel, and his back was killing him. He settled on his bed, and played his guitar, the smooth acoustic sounds lulling him into relaxation. He slowly, but steadily played his way through one song that Remus had taught him, and his heart lifted as he heard Honoria singing along, keeping in tune with the notes emanating from his instrument.

After awhile he put his guitar aside and lay down to have a sleep. He wanted to be rested for Dumbledore's session this afternoon. His eyes closed and he felt himself drifting off.

_Ron was running towards the Hogwarts quidditch pitch; Harry saw his Firebolt clutched under his arm. He gave chase as the red-head got further and further ahead of him. He raced outside the Hogwarts entrance hall, and he suddenly found himself in the Forbidden Forest. He looked around and saw a centaur, aiming a bow and arrow at him. The arrow struck true and Harry looked down, shocked, to see the arrow digging into his shoulder_. _Abruptly, the arrow reversed itself, the arrowhead now on the end not sticking into Harry's body. A tongue erupted from the arrowhead and then the arrow turned green, it's body became scaly; the snake hissed at him…_

_The dream changed. His eyes looked down still, and a snake – Nagini! – was scaling her way along the ground. He looked up and saw Death Eaters surrounding him. His tongue flicked out, tasting the fear._

"_You know your assignment?" his cold voice filled the air. Replies of 'Yes, my Lord.' came from each Death Eater. "Good. Then go to the residence, and make sure Bones is dead." Abruptly he clutched his stomach and growled. "GO! NOW!" The Death Eaters hurried away and he focused on his chest, where pain still reigned. "Damn you, Potter…"_

Harry jerked awake, his heart thundering in his chest. He tried to recall the dream, focusing his entire being on it. _Go to the residence… make sure Bones is dead… _Well, it couldn't be Susan. Tom wouldn't order an attack just for Susan Bones; after all, she wasn't Harry Potter, arch nemesis of Lord Voldemort. Harry cringed; _God, that sounded conceited! _he thought. Harry wracked his brain and came up with the name 'Madame Bones'. His heart rate picked up again. _He's going after Madam Bones!_

Abruptly he launched himself from the bed, his glasses on his face and his wand in his hand. He looked around wildly, then realized he was panicking. _This is what got Sirius killed. Think!_ Okay, he'd have to warn the Order, and Dumbledore too. He looked up, finally noticing that Hedwig had come back from her hunt while he was asleep. Both of his companions were looking at him; waiting for him to take action or give orders.

"Erm…" Abruptly an idea formed and he reached quickly for parchment and quill. Penning a quick note, he hooked it to Hedwig's feet. "Hedwig, this is a note for the Order. Take it to Grimmauld Place. Honoria and I will go to Dumbledore's office. If he's not there, we'll try Grimmauld Place. Hopefully, we'll see you there. Good luck and fly safe." Hedwig gave a dutiful nod, nipped his finger affectionately and then took flight quickly out the window. It only took a few seconds for her to disappear completely from Harry's view.

Harry turned to look at Honoria, mentally running an inventory. _Wand, check. Both buttocks, check. Clothes appropriate for a tavern brawl, check. _Harry shook his head, then walked over to the green and gold phoenix. "Honoria, take me to Dumbledore's office; we need to warn him about Madam Bones." Honoria instantly clutched his shoulder in her talons and Harry felt himself surrounded by red fire and warmth, and then he was in Dumbledore's office.

Fawkes was on his perch sleeping, but Dumbledore was nowhere to be seen.

"I say," spoke a cold, oily voice. "What are you doing in here, Potter?" Harry whirled his wand and pointed it at the painting of Phineus. Realising there was no threat he moved to Fawkes and stroked him.

"Fawkes," he soothed gently, trying to ease the bird into waking. "I need your help Fawkes. I need to find Dumbledore. Madam Bones is being attacked as we speak."

Behind him, Phineus scoffed, but Harry was glad to see that Fawkes was instantly awake and seemed to be aware of the peril that Bones was in. "Is he at Grimmauld Place?" Harry asked urgently. Fawkes gave a wink and Harry grasped Honoria's tailfeathers. "Will you come with me, to help evacuate the Bones' residence?" Fawkes winked again. "Alright; to Grimmauld Place first though."

Harry appeared in the entrance hallway of Sirius' home and repressed a shudder. He didn't want to be back here. He heard Fawkes pop into existence behind him and strode forward, opening the door to the kitchen. Just like he thought, an Order meeting was going on.

"Harry?" Albus Dumbledore asked curiously. "What are you doing here?"

The other Order members save Tonks and Remus gasped as he walked in with a phoenix perched on each shoulder. All except Snape. He simply began to walk forward, sneering, "Yes! What _are_ you doing here, Potter? Seeking more glory, aren't we?"

Harry simply raised his wand and, making sure to occlude his mind, murmured "_**Stupefy!"**_ The Order stared as Snape crumpled to the floor, unprepared for Harry's spell.

"Harry!" Dumbledore scolded.

Harry ignored the tone of voice and spoke. "Madam Bones is under attack. Right now!"

Dumbledore raised a brow. "A vision, Harry?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah. I think I saw it because of what you had Tonks teaching me the other day." He spoke so only Dumbledore could hear. He didn't want everyone to know that he was learning Legilimency. The less people who knew about Harry's mental abilities, the more he could covertly use them.

"Very well," Dumbledore said, and then he turned and began addressing the Order.

Harry turned towards the door. "I'm going ahead," he interrupted Dumbledore.

"No!" This shout came from Remus.

Harry turned to face him. "I'm not going to fight Remus, I'm going to ask Honoria and Fawkes to help me evacuate Madam Bones and her family." With that, he walked out, ignoring Remus' shouted protests and leaving the Order to get organized.

----

Harry appeared in a flash of phoenix-fire, a shield already corporeal around his body. It was a good thing too, as three spells instantly slammed into his spell. He maintained his shield and looked around. He was in a tidy bedroom, and three people were glaring suspiciously at him. He looked at each of them and relaxed. He dropped his shield and kept his wand pointed at the ground.

"Good evening ladies." He was surprised by how suave and smooth his voice sounded. _James Bond, eat your heart out! _"Susan, Hannah, its Harry." He smiled, to show his friendly intentions.

"H-Harry?" Susan Bones stammered from her position behind a cupboard. She peered her face out and saw him, and sweet relief flooded through her. She began to step around to walk up and hug him when another voice spoke from behind Harry.

"Don't move Susan! Stay there, Hannah!"

Harry kept perfectly still as a wand was pressed against his back. "Madam Bones," he greeted her solemnly. "Last year, you held me on trial at Fudge's whim for a ridiculous case of underage magic where I was tried by the entire Wizenmagot. Fudge sent me an owl at the last minute to change location, hoping to make me late and give everyone more reason to lock me up."

There was silence behind him and he felt the wand drop from his back. He turned around and moved his hair, flashing his scar at her. The poor old woman almost sagged with relief. "Thank god!"

Harry moved towards her. "Are you hurt?" he asked.

She held out her arm, which had a cut on it. Harry nodded and with a simple "Honoria", his phoenix friend took flight and began crying on Madam Bones' wound. While Honoria healed Madame Bones, Harry moved to gather Hannah and Susan. Each girl gave him a hug of relief and greeting. He smiled at them and said, "It's time to get out of here. Fawkes! Honoria! Take them to Privet Drive until I can get them moved to headquarters." The phoenixes flew to obey.

"What about Aunty Amelia?" Susan asked anxiously.

"I'll take care of her," Harry reassured her.

A loud pounding then began, making them all jump, and Harry turned towards the door. Death Eaters were obviously outside, trying to break in. He turned an inquisitive gaze to Madam Bones.

"I managed to put a ward on the door," she explained tensely.

"Ah," Harry replied cheerfully. _What the hell?_ He exclaimed to himself. _Cheerful? At a time like this?_ He was turning into god-damn Albus Dumbledore. Next thing you know, he'd be bloody eye-twinkling at people! "That'll do it. Time for you girls to leave. We'll be right behind you as soon as Fawkes and Honoria come back." The door began to splinter and Harry knew time was running out. "Go! Now!"

The girls disappeared in a flash of fire, and Harry dragged Amelia Bones over behind the cupboard that Susan had used as cover. The he headed back over to the door. He used his lessons with Dumbledore, clearing his mind, focusing his senses, paying attention to everything he saw and heard and smelt. He determined that there were three Death Eaters trying to get in. He hurried back over the other side of the room and whispered "Three of them," to Madam Bones. She nodded. He spoke again, "I'll take the two on the right, you take the one on the left."

She was about to argue when he interrupted. "Voldemort wants me alive; they won't kill me." Truth was, old Uncle Tommy wanted him dead six times over, but Madam Bones didn't need to know that.

He moved away, seeking separate cover. He ducked down behind a chair just as the door burst open. He heard Bones' spell sizzle through the air and launched one of his own. His cry of '_**Reducto!' **_sent a purple beam of light at the middle Death Eater, the shockwave also knocking over the right most one. Amelia's target had gone down to a stunner, but one of Harry's had blocked and the other had dodged. He had to work fast.

He surged from behind the chair, intent on taking down the two remaining men. One had gone after Amelia and they were engaged in a ferocious duel. Harry's Death Eater seemed rather stupid, he had to admit. They traded spells for only a second or two before a stunner from Harry pierced the bastard's defense. _Two down!_

Harry turned, feeling triumphant when he saw Madam Bones take a cutting hex to the arm. She stumbled and stared in horror as she saw the green of killing curse coming at her.

Harry didn't really he understand it, but he was sure grateful for it. Whatever caused it, time seemed to slow down for him, and he knew Madam Bones was going to die if he didn't do anything. He saw the unblockable curse heading for her and slashed with his wand. He didn't remember crying _Wingardium Leviosa!_ in his mind, but the results were there. One of the stunned Death Eaters flew from the ground and moved so fast Harry couldn't follow. His airborne path sent him straight into a collision with the Avada Kedavra curse. He crumpled to the floor. Harry instinctively stored his shock for later and stunned the last Death Eater.

A stony silence filled the room. Harry couldn't move as realized that he'd just caused a man's death. Honoria and Fawkes suddenly appeared in the room, jerking Harry and Madam Bones into action. Harry silently bound the two stunned Death Eaters and picked up their wands, stowing them in his pocket. Fawkes suddenly began to sing, and Harry's heart lightened slightly. He cleared his suddenly dry throat. Then a very peculiar feeling came over him. The hair on the back of his neck tingled. "Fawkes," he whispered, "can you take Madam Bones to Privet Drive. I doubt Tom sent a mere three Death Munchers."

Fawkes hooted happily, clawed Madam Bones' shoulder, then disappeared. The feeling washed over Harry again. He felt… He moved quickly yet stealthily to the window and peered out cautiously. He blew out a shaky breath and gave a nervous laugh when he realized that the feeling he had experienced had been the arrival of the Order. They had apparently already finished their fight. Harry saw Moody moving between the bodies and binding Death Eaters that were sprawled out on the ground.

Harry reached for Honoria and reappeared in Privet Drive. He observed the nervous faces of the three women in his bedroom and smiled reassuringly. "Dumbledore just arrived. He's probably wondering where I took you all. We should head back." Harry directed Susan and Hannah to grab Fawkes tail and they disappeared. He and Madam Bones did the same with Honoria, reappearing back in the destroyed bedroom they'd just vacated.

Harry moved to the bed and Fawkes and Honoria flew over to land on a knee each. He smiled gratefully at them. "Thank you, my friends," he said while stroking each gently with a separate hand. "I did not mean for you to be used as taxis." The three women watched in awe as he sat down and spoke to the birds. It was highly irregular to see a single phoenix, let alone two of them in the same place.

Harry continued talking to the two majestic creatures. "Honoria, if you're up for one more traveling trip, then I'd be very appreciative." The phoenix clutched him and they disappeared, leaving Fawkes behind with the three ladies.

"Erm, thank you… er, Fawkes, is it?" Madam Bones spoke up for the first time. That was all she got out before Harry reappeared. Hannah and Susan just watched the whole thing in stunned silence.

Harry sat back on the bed and opened up a blue esky. He pulled out a plate of grapes and a golden goblet. The two phoenixes, once again upon his knees, began to trill happily. Harry gave a chuckle and set the plate and goblet onto the bed. The phoenixes hopped to them and began to eat. Harry got up and moved to the girls.

"Are you guys alright?" he asked.

Madam Bones nodded dutifully; Harry knew she wouldn't vent her tears or frustration or whatever until the girls were alright. Hannah gave a shaky nod and moved to pat Honoria, who lapped up the attention. Susan just stood there with tears in her eyes. Harry didn't know what to do, then Tonks voice came again _'Be confident, Harry!' _Harry suddenly smiled in understanding of what he should do and moved to embrace her.

Dumbledore and his Order walked in just as she started sobbing on his loose shirt. "Evening, Albus," Harry murmured. "Sorry about before," he said with a wince.

Albus chuckled. "It's quite alright, young Harry."

All of the Order members were staring at the two phoenixes, stuffing their faces on the bed. Harry gave a laugh as he released Susan from the hug. "Everyone, the green and gold one is Honoria. She's mine." He hesitated, thinking. "Well, I think it's more like I'm hers, so to speak." Honoria just snuffled down another grape.

The Order continued staring. Then Tonks stirred, having seen the phoenix before and turned towards Harry. "Harry!" she cried happily. She promptly chose that time to trip and crashed into him, sending them both to the floor. Everyone sniggered with the exception of Snape. He was snarling silently at Harry, no doubt pondering just how many ways he could kill him. Harry sent him a cheerful wave from the floor.

"So, Madam Bones… er, any chance you could get my underage magic taken care of?"

Madam Bones smiled. "Harry, you just saved our lives. Please, call me Amelia. And your underage magic won't be a problem."

Harry gave a nod of gratitude and headed over towards the bed. "Well, I should probably get out of here before more Aurors show up, huh?" He snatched back the grapes and the goblet and put them back in the bottomless esky. "Fawkes, if you want more to eat, you can come back to Privet Drive." He turned back to everybody else, all of whom were watching him with shock. Well, except Dumbledore, Remus, Tonks and Snape. The first two were looking amused, Tonks was beaming and Snape was doing the lip-curl thing. "See you, guys. Stay safe Susan, Hannah. Amelia." He gave another nod and vanished with Honoria and Fawkes.

----

A/N: Hope this fight scene wasn't too unbelievable either. One thing in my story that will happen is that Harry will become strong. Much stronger than anyone else at Hogwarts (students), but he will truly have nothing on Dumbledore and Tom Riddle. He will take Tom by surprise once or twice.

Grunt I seem to have forgotten that Snape wouldn't show up with Dumbledore at a raid/execution. My defence is he just came from an Order meeting. Either way, I'm too lazy to rewrite it without him in there, so meh.


	6. Confidence, Anyone?

**Summary:**

AU: Sirius is dead, the ministry has acknowledged Voldemort's return, and the rift between Harry and everything around him deepens. Things are spinning out of control and many surprises are around the corner…..

**Note:**

This story is post-OoTP. It will cover the summer after Sirius' death and Harry's 6th school year. I may also extend it to include his 7th year, but I haven't decided. Not sure of the pairings yet. Harry will become involved with multiple girls/women, but will only ultimately fall for one. **This story WILL contain sexual content, so if you don't like reading sex scenes, don't fuckin' read the story. It will also contain violence and coarse language, so meh.**

This chapter **will **contain a sex scene.

A/N: Okay, so I wasn't going to replay to any of the reviews that I got. I was going to read them, and if any made a decent suggestion, I was going to take it into consideration. But a lot of people are asking how Harry wasn't affected by the cruciatus curse in chapter 1. This will be explained in a later chapter, so please be patient. I appreciate all the reviews, especially since this is my first ever fanfic. Props to Renevatio for reviewing each chapter, and not just giving one general review of the story.

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**Previously:**

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_He turned back to everybody else, all of whom were watching him with shock. Well, except Dumbledore, Remus, Tonks and Snape. The first two were looking amused, Tonks was beaming and Snape was doing the lip-curl thing. "See you, guys. Stay safe Susan, Hannah. Amelia." He gave another nod and vanished with Honoria and Fawkes._

----

**Chapter 6: Confidence, Anyone?**

----

Another few days had passed since the attack on Madam Bones. As she had promised, she got Harry's underage magic sorted out, and Harry didn't even have to go to the Ministry. Since then, Harry had trained with Dumbledore, had more Occlumency and Legilimency with Tonks and had even trained with Dudley. His routine was set. And it was his birthday tomorrow night. Today was the 29th of July.

Harry wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he was looking forward to it. He'd never had a real birthday party and he was hoping that he might just get one this year. After all, the summer had been good so far. He'd learned valuable skills, he'd gotten a job and got fit. Hell, he'd even slept with a woman; platonically, of course. He'd made progress with the opposite sex; he no longer blushed at every compliment or sexual teasing. He'd learned the value of patience and the power of observation. Overall, it had been an excellent summer.

Harry picked up his guitar and sat on his bed, eager to begin playing. Sometime before the attack on Madame Bones' place, Remus had taught Harry the basics of guitar tabs. He'd had no idea what they were, but Remus had explained it actually made sense. The Dursleys had all been out that day, and they'd snuck into Dudleys room, surfed the internet and found a few. Harry had tried to play one or two, but found it incredibly difficult. He'd have to print some out to learn at Hogwarts.

He gently strummed his strings as Honoria and Hedwig listened. The music soothed him, seeming to reach deep down into his soul and give him an essence of calm. Harry found it very therapeutic. He'd never really listened to music as a kid, so he'd never really discovered how soothing and uplifting it could be. _Well,__I'm finding out now._

He continued to play, content to just fiddle around with different sounds. Time passed and he looked up at the clock. 5:30, already! Harry blinked, then set his guitar aside. He had to practice his Occlumency before Moony and Tonksy showed up. Laying down, he meditated.

He was stirred from his relaxed state when Tonks smacked him over the head. "Come on, Harry! Time for drinks!" She'd already poured three shots of Firewhiskey and Harry looked around to see Remus' amused smile. Tonks passed around the shot glasses and the three of them clunked their glass together.

"To Harry," Remus smirked.

Harry scowled. He still wasn't the biggest fan of attention, although he was getting better at responding to women; well, Tonks, at least. "To werewolves," he countered. This time Remus scowled.

Tonks raised her glass too. "To seeing Harry completely butt-arse naked walking back in from the shower!" Then she downed her drink while Harry and Remus sputtered theirs. Harry's face turned almost purple and Remus was staring stupidly.

"What?!" he almost exploded. "What did I miss?!"

Harry glared threateningly at Tonks as she began to explain about the day she'd walked in on Harry getting dressed. Harry rushed over, wrapped an arm around her and smothered her mouth with his free hand. Her voice became muffled as Harry clamped down. "There will be no telling that story, _ever_, Tonksy. You don't want to know what I'm going to do as payback."

Tonks licked his hand and Harry recoiled, feeling a particular jolt in his stomach. He wiped his hand on his too-large shirt. He released Tonks and moved back to his seat and was pouring another shot of Firewhiskey when it started again. "So, anyways, I'm here in the bedroom, and he comes walking in wrapped in only a towel, and he drops it, and I can tell you, he's hung like a rogue eleph-"

Harry spilt his shot in his haste to clamp his hand over her mouth again. "Can't talk if you can't breath," he rasped in her ear. Then he let her go and began to tickle her. They crashed to the bed and she began to shriek with laughter as Remus watched on, trying to stay steady while he let loose his own humour.

Harry froze when he saw Albus Dumbledore and Fawkes appear near his door. "Er…" he said stupidly. Tonks squirmed underneath him to see what he was seeing.

"What is it?" she asked eagerly.

Remus just looked amused. Albus did too. He took in the bottle of Firewhiskey, Harry tickling Tonks and Remus' hilarious expression. "Ah," he stated happily. "The joys of youth. Unfortunately, I'm a little past that nowadays."

"Nonsense, Headmaster," Harry spoke up, emboldened by the liquor he'd consumed. "Have a drink, eh?" Remus choked on his next drink as Harry invited the old headmaster further into the room.

Albus' smile widened significantly. "I think I will, Harry. Thank you." Harry handed him a shot of Firewhiskey and he watched as the old man tipped it down, then shook his head and tried to clear the steam coming from his ears. Harry, Tonks and Remus all howled with laughter.

Albus cleared his throat a few times to lessen the burn, then turned seriously to Remus. "Alas, Remus, I must drag you away from your afternoon with Harry. I'm afraid I need you to talk to someone, my friend."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "Again?"

Dumbledore gave a solemn nod. Remus sighed, passed his now-filled glass to Tonks, then got up and walked towards Albus and Fawkes. "Happy birthday, Harry," he said with a small smile.

"See ya, Moony. We'll pick this up next time."

Remus gave a nod, and then he, the old man, and Fawkes disappeared in a flash of fire. Harry gave a sad sigh, then reached and snatched Remus' shot glass out of Tonks hand. He downed it and didn't even feel the burn. _Now I'm just depressed. _

Tonks tried to cheer him up. "Don't worry, Harry. _I'm _still here! Let's get waffled!"

Harry couldn't hold in his chuckle. "_Waffled_? What the hell is that?!" He kept laughing as Tonks pouted. She poured more drinks and they talked.

The conversation ranged from their knowledge of international quidditch teams to how much they both disliked Snape. They talked about Tonks' birthday parties as a kid with her parents, and they talked about Sirius, reminiscing about his pranks and the time he spent in Azkaban and his awful house. They were both steadily getting drunker, though still not paralytic, and Harry felt his courage swell enough to speak up about their Legilimency accident.

"Tonks…" Harry spoke. He watched as she turned her head to look at him, a smile on her face. Her clouded eyes cleared when they met his. For a split second, Harry's drunken mind couldn't help pointing out that he was with an extremely attractive woman on his bed, and that they were both well on their way to being significantly drunk. He blinked, and then spoke up again. "I'm sorry about the Legiliemency thing, Tonks. Where I broke into your mind."

Tonks just smiled lazily at him. "Don't worry about it Harry."

"But weren't you mad?"

"Mad? Of course! But not at you. At first, just after it happened, I wanted to run down and kill the Dursleys. And I think the whole time before I left the next morning, I was in shock about what you'd gone through. Anyway, when I got home it really hit me that you'd seen all my skeletons in my closets as well. _That's_ when I got mad at you. But I didn't stay mad for long. I actually felt… relieved, you know. To have someone else know all your secrets and so on. You know?"

Harry just stared at her for a second, wondering how someone could be so accepting of having every little secret torn from them. But then he remembered that he hadn't been angry either. He'd been relieved when he discovered that Tonks had sifted through all his memories. Abruptly, he grinned. "Yeah, I know, Tonksy. I was relieved. Felt good for someone else to know everything."

"Still embarrassing to know that you've seen all the times people have asked me to change my body for them. Different hair colour, and larger breasts and longer legs."

Harry felt something uncomfortable in the pit of his stomach. This was a touchy subject for him. He could no longer not notice how _hot_ he found Tonks. And it wasn't even her real form. "Erm, yeah… about that. Tonks…" He trailed off as he saw her mouth drop in horror.

He realized that she was probably expecting him to make a request like all those other bastards. And he most certainly didn't want her to misunderstand him. He moved quickly, albeit drunkenly, right next to her and laid a single finger on her lips. Her eyes were wide and Harry knew that she'd thought wrong of him.

"No, Tonks," he whispered. "It's not what you think. Yes, I want you to change. But I want you to change into the real you." His face was close to hers as she realized his intent, and her expression became pensive. He moved gently closer until his nose was almost brushing hers, his eyes looking intently into hers. "I want to see the real you, Tonks."

As she continued to think, he felt his heart pounding, and his breathing was quickened. His drunk mind struggled to make the connection. _What's wrong with me?_ He looked again at Tonks and a ton of bricks fell on his head. _This is desire! I'm lusting after Tonks! Merlin, she's like eight years older than me!_ He took in her dusty blonde hair, her big blue eyes, and he definitely knew that he wanted her. A quiet voice in his head whispered that it was ironic that his first case of lust was with a much older woman. _Well, Sirius would definitely be impressed that I hooked up with an older woman!_

"You want to see the real me, Harry?" Tonks' voice was hesitant, as though she was wary of trusting him. "W-Why?"

Harry thought for a second before answering truthfully. The alcohol made it easier. "Because I've seen the rest of you Tonks. I've seen your memories, I've seen you fight, I've seen your clumsiness. But I've never seen your face. I, um…" Here he stumbled, afraid to tell her that he desired her physically. God, the liquor was the only thing keeping him from chickening out; then he heard her voice again. _Be confident! _ "Um, I just realized before that I was feeling physical desire towards you, and it hit me that it wasn't the real you." He finished speaking, and waited for her to either run away or beat him over the head for admitting to lusting after an older woman.

She did neither. Her eye colour slowly deepened, and Harry felt he could lose himself in the depths of the dark-blue hue. Her hair slowly lengthened and he tenderly lifted a hand and stroked a blonde lock of it behind her ear. Her face softened, and an awareness or aura came about her, signifying that she was an attractive woman and she knew it.

Harry drew a sharp breath. The other Tonks had been cute, definitely beautiful; this Tonks was stunning and breath-taking.

"I –" he stammered. "Why – why don't you let other people… If you look like this naturally, then why hide it? You're – you're…" Harry choked and stuggled to draw breath, utterly captivated by the natural beauty that was Tonks.

Tonks gave a giggle. "Harry, surely you've seen beautiful women before?" Her voice had changed too. Harry thought that it sounded like whiskey, smooth and soothing. And very alluring. All he could do was stare through hazy, drunken eyes as she laughed at him.

"I'm flattered, Harry," she said with a grin. Then she leaned forward and gently brushed her lips against his. Harry froze while she giggled. "Kiss me back, Harry!" she urged.

Harry was floored. _Tonks wants me to kiss her?! I've only ever kissed Cho, and that was a water-works factory! What if I'm bad at it?!_

Tonks seemed to know exactly what he was thinking and she smiled happily. "Don't worry, Harry. I'll teach you as we go." Then she bent forwards and brushed his lips with hers again. Harry followed as she lead, their lips brushing gently, and Harry felt a certain boldness take hold of him once again. He leant forward into her, deepening the kiss slightly as he bit down with his lips on her bottom one. Tonks' eyes had drifted closed as he continued to watch her, and still their lips clung gently to each other.

Harry pulled back. He wasn't supposed to be doing this! She was older than him, and he was supposed to focus on saving the world! Tonks made an exasperated sound. "What's wrong, Harry?" she demanded, her eyes flying open.

It was then that Harry realized that somehow, he'd sobered up a little, and she was currently drunker than he was. "I just, I don't think we should be doing this Tonks. I mean… I've only ever had one kiss before, and you're older than me, and I thought there was something going on with you and Remus and what if Dumbledore finds out, and what if – "

Harry's voice was muffled as Tonks surged forward and captured his lips with hers. His heart lurched as he felt her tongue gently press against his lips, and Harry knew that he couldn't resist this kind of comfort, this newfound intimacy. He instinctively knew that he should open his mouth, so he did, and Tonks tongue quested soothingly into his mouth to touch his tongue. Harry felt an electric shock run through him as their tongues mated. Eventually, Harry pulled back for air, and he saw Tonks eyes were closed once again.

"Tonks, I – " This time it was her finger, splayed across his lips, that halted his words. She leant forward again, pushing her body against his. Harry could feel her rapid heartbeat as she pushed him down onto the bed.

"Just kiss me," she whispered.

And Harry's resolve broke. He wasn't exactly the most moral of men, he swore, he lied and he snuck around school after hours. _He wasn't a saint!_ And he shouldn't be asked to act like one. With this in mind, he captured Tonks lips with his, his tongue probing and his right hand reached up to bring her head down, closer to his. He felt more than heard Tonks sigh into his mouth as they kissed, and Harry couldn't help but feel the thrum of desire in his veins, the burn of passion coursing in his blood. He suddenly felt light headed and giddy.

Tonks' hand had moved to stroke his chest while Harry's hand was behind her head, playing with her hair. His other hand curled around to knead instinctively at her back while their mouths continued to tease each other. Despite the desire, Harry felt uncertainty creeping up on him. He'd never done this before. What if he did something wrong? Or he wasn't good enough. And oh dead god, he'd read about it in magazines, but what if he came early?!

Tonks once again seemed to know his line of thinking as she broke the kiss and whispered into his ear. "Don't be nervous Harry. I'll guide you through it." Harry felt a certain arrogance settle on him as he heard the lust in her voice. _Thank god I'm not the only one who truly wants this!_

His veins were on fire and a raging inferno had taken shelter in his chest. "Roll over, Harry," came Tonks' instruction. Harry did, and his instincts seemed dead on as he rolled, taking Tonks with him. Now she was on the bottom, Harry on top. From no design of his own, Harry found Tonks' left leg rubbing the back of his right calf and her hips were grinding against his. Harry felt his breath coming in short and quick and strong as he struggled to keep up with her.

One of her hands found its way to the back of his head, and they shared another heady kiss as her other hand began running over the muscles of his back. Something made Harry break off the kiss, and he ran his tongue down the side of her neck to the juncture between her neck and shoulder. Tonks shuddered beneath him, so he decided to do it again. This time, instead of just licking her flesh, he used his lips to suck, his tongue to lathe, and his teeth to gently bite as he trailed his way down.

Tonks pressed herself against him as her nails dug into his shirt. Abruptly, she realized they were wearing too many clothes, and the shirt was rendered in two. Harry left her neck alone as she ripped the shirt from his chest, revealing still developing, yet shapely muscles. Tonks surged upwards and it was Harry's turn to groan his desire as she latched onto his chest, licking and biting. Harry's hands trailed down lifted her shirt, and she lifted her arms for him to pull it off. Harry went back to kissing her flesh and he trailed from her neck to her bare shoulder, and then further down to the top of her breast. Here, he hesitated, unsure if they were going to continue or if he should touch her there in any way.

Tonks' hands suddenly tightened around his head as she felt her way through his hair. "Don't stop!" she hissed. That was all the urging Harry needed.

He kissed his way down and suckled her firm breast through the fabric of her bra. Tonks back arched upwards, thrusting her chest at him as she moaned her pleasure. He turned his attention to the other breast and his hand came shakily up to massage the one his mouth had just abandoned. Meanwhile Tonks' hands were busy scraping at his jeans, fumbling with the belt buckle, and Harry knew she wanted their clothes off.

He moved back and unbuckled his jeans and pulled them off, barely noticing that Tonks had pulled off her jeans and bra, and was now peeling off her underwear. Harry was down to wearing only his boxers as he looked up and saw her in all her naked glory.

Speech deserted him and he couldn't do anything but stare. Tonks giggled. "Come on, Harry," she urged.

Harry's thumbs hooked into his boxers, ready to pull them down, but then he hesitated. "Tonks… I don't – I don't know…"

Tonks just reared upwards, grabbed his boxers and yanked them down. Harry's mouth dropped open and his hands moved to cover himself. Tonks wrenched his arms apart and then pulled his boxers off completely. Both were now as naked as the day they were born. Harry just waited, unsure of exactly what to do. Tonks took the decision from his mind as she grabbed him and pulled him down. "Make love to me, Harry," she rasped in his ear.

Harry's chest filled again with desire, fire lancing through his breath and he kissed her. She responded, her tongue questing for his as her hands moved down to rub at his chest, then his lower torso until one clutched his length. Harry gasped harshly into her mouth, his breath shuddering like a winded rhinoceros, and he sucked air from her mouth as a means to keep the kiss alive.

Every nerve center he had was attuned to Tonks hand on his member. She gently squeezed and stroked as Harry's whole body shuddered and shook and jerked. He felt something coming that felt so good and he knew he was close, but he didn't want it yet. Living with Seamus and Dean had taught him a little bit of sex ed. Seamus was one hell of a horny man, and his magazines had given Harry a small understanding of the way sex went. He focused the hardest he ever had in his life to control himself, employing his Occlumency exercises with a fervor that would make Snivellus proud. _Oh god! I am __**SO**__not thinking about him right now! _

His hand reached down and seized her wrist as he broke the kiss. "Not yet," he panted harshly. No, he didn't want to come yet. He wanted to pleasure Tonks first. He'd read somewhere that most women thought men were pigs in the sack, and he wanted to do this right. Tonks' dazzling smile told him he'd made the right decision.

----

He released her hand and nibbled on her breasts as her chest thrust upwards. Tonks slowly reached out a hand and grabbed his, and then her hand guided his downwards, passed his member, which was currently nestling into her stomach. She felt his hand brush her thistle of hair, and Harry seemed to know that she was moving his hand down to her core.

His hand jerked as warmth and moisture surrounded it. Her hand released him and Harry knew what to do. He gave a gently rub and slicked one finger along her entrance. Tonks couldn't hold in her whimper as she almost came. She began to flutter with anticipation as Harry continued to gently stroke her. His thumb reached out and gently rubbed her nub and she jerked her whole body upwards. After a short while, and many sounds of excitement from Tonks, she felt a finger enter her and she let out a loud, wanton moan.

Tonks felt like she was on fire! She'd been feeling attracted to Harry for awhile now, his boyish charm somehow getting through the barriers she'd locked herself behind. When they'd had the Legilimency incident, it had just made it easier to want him. To seek comfort from him. And _holy merlin_ could he give comfort!

Her desire had peaked tonight, and she'd seen it in his eyes as well. And she'd asked him to make love to her. Normally, if she wasn't so drunk, she would have thought it was a stupid request, and quite possibly illegal as well. But she was drunk, and this was the best sex she'd ever had. Not because of his technique, because, let's face it: it was Harry's first time, and he was nervous and fumbling and stuttering.

But despite that, Tonks knew this was the best she'd ever had. She didn't know whether it was the thrill of hooking up with a younger guy, or the thrill of hooking up with Harry Potter, or even possibly because they had become so close to each other, but she knew that the emotions she felt with Harry were stronger than any physical pleasure she'd taken from any other guy.

She felt butterflies in her stomach and lightning storms in her breasts as she felt Harry manipulate his finger to penetrate her silky sheath. He rubbed and cajoled and Tonks shook and moaned as a minor orgasm ripped through her. She couldn't stop her panting as she felt him insert a second finger. She couldn't stand it any longer!

"Harry! Now!" Harry blinked, having been so absorbed in his task between her legs. He looked up at her with lust-clouded eyes and Tonks couldn't help but love him, just for a moment. Eventually he grinned drunkenly at her and gently pulled his fingers out of her as he moved upwards over her body. She could feel his thighs against hers, his member already probing at her entrance, his chest rubbing against her sensitive nipples, and most important of all, she thought, she could feel his heart thundering against hers, and the blood and passion thrumming through their veins.

They paused for a second, feeling the way their bodies felt against each other, and looking into the other's eyes. "Are you sure about this?" Harry questioned.

Tonks gave him a dazzling smile, and she felt his heart rate pick up once again. She gave a single nod as she reached a hand down to grasp his length and guide it to her feminine place. She felt the tip of his member tentatively touch her nether-region and couldn't help but wiggle, silently urging him on.

"Wait!" she suddenly cried. Harry froze, about to press into her, as she reached over, grabbed her wand and a flash of light vanished into her stomach. "Contraceptive spell," she whispered, tossing the wand away. Then she guided Harry into her.

Her insides clenched as he slowly pushed in. She felt herself stretching, and she knew what it was like to be filled. _Sweet merlin! He _is_ hung! _She could feel the thrum of his pulse in his penis, and she reveled in the feelings of pleasure that engulfed her. Harry gave a grunt as he thrust fully into her, up to the hilt. Tonks shuddered as she felt her orgasm beginning to build. Harry began to move, their bodies slickened with sweat as she hooked a leg around the back of his thigh and her hands clutched his bum. She urged him on, her hands grabbing and stroking as he moved. She could hear Harry's panting in her ear as he moved faster, gaining more confidence, aiming to bring her to higher waves of pleasure.

And she could feel the higher waves coming. The thrust of his pelvis and the feeling of his chest on hers was driving her onwards. She couldn't breathe, and she couldn't think. There was only the feeling. It was coming, she could feel her muscles tightening, clenching around his length as he began to shudder, almost there as well.

She threw her head back and cried out as she felt her world explode, a multitude of colours colliding together and Harry's face at the epicenter. She heard Harry's breath, and on any other day she would have claimed he was coughing up a lung, but not today. She could feel him inside her, driving them both higher and higher as they continued to fall together in climax.

And then the pleasure abated, small shudders rocking them both as they clung together; Harry with his head buried in her hair and Tonks clutching at his back, her fingernails having pierced the skin. Harry collapsed on top of her, and together they lay, the outside world absolutely meaningless.

It could have been seconds, or minutes or hours; neither knew. But eventually Harry lifted his head and met her eyes with his. "Are you alright?" His hoarse voice was a whisper. There was no way he wanted to spoil the event they had just shared. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Tonks gave a heavy-lidded smile and a giddy laugh. She could hear the contentment, the peace, in his voice, and she vowed she wouldn't take that away. Her answer to his question was to lean up and kiss him lovingly. He responded warmly and for a few minutes, their tongues mated while they relaxed in the afterglow of intense sex.

_And it had definitely been intense_, Tonks reflected. Harry had tried to take care of her every step of the way, even though it had been his first time and not hers. He'd been the virgin and he still cared more about her than he did about his own pleasure. Harry's capacity to show love to those around him stunned her, and she wished she was as giving as he.

Harry broke the kiss and rolled over, Tonks now curled up against his chest while he lay on his back. His breath still shuddered out, and Tonks knew he was reveling in such an intimate experience. Her head rested on his shoulder as their breathing slowly returned to normal.

Tonks heard Harry's contented sigh and looked up at him. His eyes had drifted closed, and his breathing had deepened. He was asleep. Tonks couldn't help but smile lovingly at him. _I love him,_ she realized. Her heart skipped a beat with pleasure, but there was something wrong with that statement.

She was well aware that Harry was a man, and she saw him thus, but he wasn't _her _man. Enlightenment came to her as she listened to his soft, steady heartbeat. _I love him, but I'm not _in _love with him._ That seemed to feel right. After all, she'd been getting closer to Harry for a few weeks now, and she'd definitely noticed how attractive she was getting. She'd definitely noticed him as a man, but only as a man. Not as someone she could settle down and have kids with. Not someone she would spend the rest of her life with.

A wicked thought came to her and she grinned. She could definitely use him as a sex buddy for the rest of her life. With that comforting thought in mind, she cuddled up to Harry's side, noticing his arm had unconsciously curled around her waist. And she fell asleep.

----

_Soon, young one! So soon…_

Harry's eyes snapped open as he heard the voice. He'd been sleeping; the best sleep he'd _ever_ had in his whole life, and that thrice damned voice had woken him up again. He let out a sigh, and as he did so, he felt something brush against his stomach.

He looked down at an arm. Further investigation showed that the arm belonged to Tonks and that Tonks was completely butt-naked, just like him. Panic clutched at him for a second before he tapped it down. He strained his memory before everything came to him. Tonks and Remus coming over to drink, drinking, Remus leaving, more drinking, Harry and Tonks talking, more drinking, and then…

Harry swallowed harshly. _Holy god! I slept with Tonks!_ With this realisation came with the elation of the moment, and Harry thrust a mental fist into the air. As he did so, he noted the strange presence of a chibi-Dumbledore in his head waving a bright Gryffindor flag that read _'Go, Harry, go!'_

Harry laid back and relaxed, contentment moving through him. _Tonks will probably kill me,_ he thought. _But that was worth it._ He smiled a gigantic smile. Then he turned his attention to the beautiful woman sleeping next to him. His hand moved out and stroked up and down her arm, and he noticed Tonks shiver with pleasure. _Pleasure!_ Harry crowed. Then he mentally cleared his throat. _Gotta play it cool, mate. Keep your head, savvy?_

Harry nodded mentally just as Tonks stirred. Her heavy-lidded eyes opened and stared up at him, and Harry smiled and bent down and kissed her. Her eyes drifted closed as she kissed him back.

"Mmm," she moaned with a sigh. "A good way to wake up, 'Harry the Hung'."

Harry blinked. "'Harry the Hung'?"

Tonks giggled sleepily. "Yep. Harry the Hung." She let out a sigh of absolute pleasure.

Harry hesitated for a second, then spoke up. "I'm sorry Tonks."

Immediately, she shot up, staring at him in shock. "You're sorry?!" she demanded.

Harry ducked his head. "Yeah," he admitted. "I'm sorry."

"And _why_ are you sorry?" Harry heard the tone of her voice and knew he was on thin ice. Apparently you don't apologise after taking advantage of women.

"I'm sorry for taking advantage of you, Tonks." He saw her face, and the anger she was about to unleash, and continued over the top of her protests. "I'm not sorry we slept together Tonks. I don't regret that. I thought it was amazing. _You're_ amazing. And I'm not sorry we got drunk. And I'm not sorry Remus had to leave. But I _am _sorry that I took advantage of you." Harry finished his speech and sat there in silence, waiting for her to answer. Or explode. When there was silence, he felt the need to continue. "I just always thought that if I was going to have sex, it'd be when I was married, you know? Or at least sober." He tried a tentative smile, which barely succeeded.

"You didn't take advantage of me, Harry," she said, amusement back in her voice. "We got drunk together, and I saw that you wanted me. And I wanted you too. It was probably wrong of me to sleep with Harry Potter, Boy-Who-Lived, sixteen year old virgin. But I don't regret it." She smiled shyly and buried her head in his shoulder. "I definitely don't regret it."

Harry couldn't help but chuckle. "I'm glad you don't regret it Tonks, because I don't either. And telling me you liked it is one hell of a way to stroke my ego."

She looked up with a seductive smirk. "I could stroke something else if you'd rather."

Harry flushed at the idea of him and Tonks going at it again. He cleared his throat, but his voice still came out thick with desire. "Ah-hem. I'd like that Tonks, but I don't know if it's a good idea."

Tonks gave a playful pout, then turned and looked at his morning wood. A victorious smirk came onto her face. "I definitely think it's a good idea."

Harry gave a laugh and reluctantly crawled out of bed. He stood up and stretched. Muscles he didn't know he had popped, as he finally noticed Honoria and Hedwig looking at him. "Oh," he said stupidly. Both birds were looking at him, seemingly smirking as he turned, bent down, and captured Tonks lips in a fierce kiss. Then he turned and walked to the shower, after pulling a pair of jeans around his waste.

"You just don't get a girl's hopes up like that!" came a shout from behind him.

----

A few minutes later, Harry walked back into the room dripping water with a towel around his waste. He tossed the towel at Tonks, who was still laying on the bed, then laughed as he heard her shriek of mock-outrage. He got dressed and hung the towel up, then turned to Tonks. She spoke before he could.

"You're being very bold this morning, Harry."

Harry grinned. "I guess I just needed a good lay," he teased.

Tonks tried to look disapproving, but then couldn't hold in her laugh. "Yeah, me too."

Harry gave a bark of laughter, sounding very reminiscent of Sirius' laugh, then said, "Shower's all yours."

Tonks pouted cutely yet again. "Could've showered with you."

Harry paused at the mental image of taking Tonks up against the shower wall, their bodies slicked with water and sweat, steam wafting through the air all around them –

Harry looked around wildly as she walked out of the room, wrapped up in his still damp towel. Harry shook the image from his mind as he walked over and paid some attention to his two animal friends. Both were still smirking at him. "What?" he demanded.

The ruddy birds just continued smirking. "Ruddy birds!" he scolded them.

A few minutes later, Tonks came in, a different towel wrapped around her exquisite curves. "Transfigured it," she explained, after seeing Harry's questioning look.

Harry nodded at her answer, then looked scared as she continued walking directly towards him. He backed up until the back of his knees came into contact with the bed, and he collapsed back onto it. Tonks promptly straddled him and took his mouth in a searing kiss.

Harry couldn't stop his hands from wandering, or his mouth from responding as heat curled his belly. He broke off the kiss and leant his forehead against hers. "Are we going to do this again, Tonks?" he asked nervously. "I mean, what is this?"

He could hear Tonks' excited breathing, and could feel the answer before she even spoke. "You bet your ass we are." Harry couldn't hold in his relieved sigh.

Tonks lifted up his chin with two fingers until their eyes met. "Harry birthday, Harry."

Harry smiled brilliantly. "Thanks."

"And now, it's time for me to buy you a present."

Harry cocked a brow. "Last night wasn't your present?"

She smacked him on the arm playfully. "Nope. Last night was what I wanted. Most definitely not your birthday present."

Something seized ahold of Harry. He felt… swelled, confident, ready to tackle the world; starting with the beautiful woman straddling him. A recklessness seized him and his hormones took over.

One of Harry's hands crept up her back as the other wound its way down to touch her most sensitive spot. Tonks began to shudder, still astride him as he spoke, seemingly unaware of what he was doing. "So, what's my present then Tonks?"

Tonks couldn't control her breathing, nor could she stop rubbing her chest against him. "P-Present? What present?"

Harry smirked as he moved forward to suckle one of her breasts. "My birthday present."

"B-Birthday? I don't… Oh! B-Birthday!" She gasped and arched even further as two fingers entered her. "Um… er, it's in Diagon Alley!" she all but shouted as she felt something building. She couldn't concentrate on anything except Harry's mouth on her firm, heaving bosom, his hand kneading and clawing at her back, and his other hand, nestled in between her thighs.

Her hands came up to claw at his back, and Harry winced as she clutched at marks she'd made last night, in the throes of passion. Still, he kept his hands moving, hoping to stimulate her enough.

Then he felt her shudder, and she whimpered continuously as he captured her mouth. Her hips made small rocking motions as she achieved climax, her whimpers held prisoner in Harry's mouth. She rode out her storm, still clutching to Harry's body. Eventually, she came up for air at the same time she stopped shuddering and moaned into his shoulder. "Holy merlin! Where did you learn that, Harry?" she asked in a half-broken voice.

Harry smirked. "My Hogwarts roommates, Dean and Seamus in particular, buy a lot of… er, gentlemen's magazines. I might have read a few and taken some ideas."

Tonks blew out a long breath, stood up, making sure to lock her shaking knees into place and then waved her wand over herself. "Wow…" she muttered to herself, having temporarily forgotten that Harry was even in the room.

Harry gingerly got up off the bed. That action with Tonks had certainly made him rise. "So, what's this about a present?"

"Hmm?" Tonks asked dazedly. Then her face cleared of desire and its aftermath and she sobered up. "Oh, I figured I'd take you to Diagon Alley and buy you something. Although, I'm not sure what you might want."

Harry gave a nod as his crotch started to settle down. "We're going now?"

Tonks gave a nod as she put on the same clothes as last night. Her body morphed as she took on her regular appearance. "Yep, we're leaving now." And with that she grabbed his hand and they apparated.

----

**A/N:** I hope I had enough in previous chapters to make it believable that Harry and Tonks would get together in a sexual relationship. The big thing to remember is that they were feeling a mutual attraction, and there was a lot of alcohol involved. I don't know about you guys, but that's been a combination for me before, so meh.

I've tried to make it seem like Harry's only sexual experiences have been from magazines and his room-mates. He never had a family to explain what it is, and never had brothers to joke about how many girls they've hooked up with and spread stories of their conquests. So, Harry's very naïve, and he isn't really aware of how he's supposed to act or not act. More of this will come out next chapter.

I wasn't really happy with how this chapter turned out. I think it was too soon Harry and Tonks to hook up, but it was necessary for a few things coming Harry's way. There will come a time when it's important for Harry to have a friend, and not someone who just wants the Boy-Who-Lived.


	7. Birthday Blues

**Summary:**

AU: Sirius is dead, the ministry has acknowledged Voldemort's return, and the rift between Harry and everything around him deepens. Things are spinning out of control and many surprises are around the corner…..

**Note:**

This story is post-OoTP. It will cover the summer after Sirius' death and Harry's 6th school year. I may also extend it to include his 7th year, but I haven't decided. Not sure of the pairings yet. Harry will become involved with multiple girls/women, but will only ultimately fall for one. **This story WILL contain sexual content, so if you don't like reading sex scenes, don't fuckin' read the story. It will also contain violence and coarse language, so meh.**

----

**Previously:**

----

_Harry gingerly got up off the bed. That action with Tonks had certainly made him rise. "So, what's this about a present?"_

"_Hmm?" Tonks asked dazedly. Then her face cleared of desire and its aftermath and she sobered up. "Oh, I figured I'd take you to Diagon Alley and buy you something. Although, I'm not sure what you might want."_

_Harry gave a nod as his crotch started to settle down. "We're going now?"_

_Tonks gave a nod as she put on the same clothes as last night. Her body morphed as she took on her regular appearance. "Yep, we're leaving now." And with that she grabbed his hand and they apparated._

----

**Chapter 7: Birthday**

----

Harry and Tonks reappeared in Diagon Alley. Harry looked around and noted that it all looked the same as it always did. _Tom obviously hasn't hit Diagon Alley yet,_ he concluded.

Tonks grabbed his arm and began to drag him around. "Come on," she urged eagerly, like a kid after a lollipop. Harry resigned himself to being on his feet all day.

The duo visited numerous places; bookshops, petshops, Madam Malkins, and so on. Tonks had explained that she didn't have a specific present to give to Harry, so she'd brought him here so he could choose.

"So, you want me to pick something, and you'll buy it for me?" he asked.

"Within reason. I don't have as much money as you, after all."

"Uh, okay…"

Tonks let out a sound of exasperation. "Be _excited, _Harry! It's your birthday." Harry cringed as her loud voice caused one or two heads to swivel in their direction. "You know what," Tonks decided, "Let's get you a new cloak. A fancy one."

"I don't really care about fancy, Tonks," Harry argued. Tonks pouted as she lead him back to Madam Malkins.

"Don't complain, Harry. A fancy cloak will make all the girls want you."

Harry smirked arrogantly. "But I don't need all the girls to want me." He poked her in the side as he pointed out, "I've got you."

Tonks blinked at him, then narrowed her eyes. "And what the hell happened to the hesitant, stuttering guy from last night, huh?"

Harry ducked his head, beginning to feel ashamed of the way he was acting with Tonks. _But isn't that how lovers act? Why does everyone else know these things except me?!_ _I mean – holy god! – I bloody helped her get her rocks off this morning! Do people even do that during the day?! Do you learn these things with a family? Is this what fathers teach their sons? _

He broke out of his thoughts as he saw Tonks still looking at him, waiting expectantly for an answer. "Yeah, well you told me to be confident, so that's what I'm doing," he said waspishly.

Tonks held up her hands in surrender. "Whoa, calm down Harry. I wasn't saying it's a bad thing. Just different. You're normally shy and insecure; this new confidence you have will take a bit of getting used to."

Harry ducked his head again, ashamed of his outburst. "Sorry," he muttered. "I'm just, like you said, trying to be more confident. I've never had much exposure to women, so I don't really know how to act, especially the morning after."

"Ooh, Harry, don't say 'morning after'. This wasn't a one night stand, after all."

"It wasn't?" Harry's heart started beating harder in his chest.

"Course not. I'm gonna train you up, so you're ready for all the beauties at Hogwarts," Tonks said with a smirk.

"So, we're… lovers?"

Tonks nodded.

Harry gave a genuine smile. "I think I'd like that." Then he frowned. "But Tonks… um, how do I say this?" Tonks looked at him quizzically and he just blurted it out. "I'm not in love with you."

Tonks chuckled, which was something Harry certainly hadn't expected. "You're something, Harry. Most guys would claim to love any girl just to get laid. I'm glad you're a truly honest and decent bloke." She saw his disbelieving look and continued on, "It's okay, Harry. I'm not in love with you either. I love you, but I'm not in love with you. Do you understand?"

They had paused in the doorway of Madam Malkins, looking intensely into each others eyes. Harry spoke first. "I understand the distinction Tonks. But I don't really know what love is in the first place."

Tonks just gave a knowing smile. "Yes, you do, Harry. And one day, you'll realise that." Then she turned and entered the store, leaving Harry to ponder for a moment before he followed her.

Madam Malkin had come out to greet Tonks and they were chatting. Harry noticed two other girls working over in a corner of the store, sifting and sorting through robes. Harry saw them give a glance at him, and he met their eyes. They blushed and looked away, giggling, then began to speak in frantic whispers, their eyes flying back to him every few seconds.

Harry just ignored them and tuned into Tonks' conversation. "Well, Nymphadora, what can I help you and Mr. Potter with today?"

Tonks growled at the name, then shrugged. An impish smile lit her face. "We're here to get Harry a fancy cloak; to impress all the ladies, you know?"

It was Harry's turn to growl. Both women smirked at him. "Well, follow me then Mr. Potter." Harry's shoulders slumped as he followed Madam Malkin towards the counter, and then past it. They entered a back room and he was led over to a single rack.

Tonks gave a whistle as she saw the cloaks that were on show. "Wow! Harry, you'll get so many girls if you wear this," she said, picking up an exquisite green robe that matched his eyes.

"I think I have just the thing," Madam Malkin exclaimed happily, her eyes lit with an inner fire that Harry didn't like the look of. She turned and walked away. Thirty seconds later she came back holding a robe that even Harry thought was wonderful. He gingerly reached out a hand to touch it, and felt shock hit him when he thought he was touching Honoria's feathers.

"Erm, forgive me, but… it looks like a plain black robe." Harry saw the Madam's look of ire and quickly amended, "I mean, you know, it's the finest robe I've ever seen, but, still… a black robe…" Harry almost quailed under her look.

"Hmmph! This robe happens to be my latest invention. I haven't even started selling it yet!"

Tonks jabbed Harry in the ribs with her elbow. _Hard. _"Well, try it on, you dolt!" Harry grumbled, then moved forward and put the robe around his shoulders. Tonks tied the robe around his neck with the string provided, causing the cloak to form an upside down v-shape. The front of the robe was open, allowing for Harry's second-hand clothes to be seen.

"So, it's not meant to keep you warm?" Harry questioned.

Madam Malkin narrowed her eyes, miffed. "Boys," she muttered. "No fashion sense, whatsoever." To her surprise, Harry smiled.

"That's why I brought dear Tonks with me; to help me pick out robes and such." Harry threw Tonks a genuine smile, and she couldn't resist smiling back.

Madam Malkin cleared her throat. "Isn't she a little bit old for you, Mr. Potter?" she questioned, picking up on the subtle vibe bouncing back and forth between the two.

Harry turned his gaze to the Madam and his smile faded, replaced by a look of complete apathy. His Occlumency was at full power, trying to keep his anger and emotions in check. _He didn't want to be treated like a child!_ "I fail to see how that's any of your business." His voice was calm, but both women seemed to pick up on the threat behind it.

Madam Malkin smiled. "Ah, good to see our 'Chosen One' isn't afraid of conflict."

Harry scowled at her statement, and began to pace. Tonks' sound of amazement brought him to a stop. He followed her gaze and looked at the cloak he was wearing. The outside of the cloak was black and stayed that way. The inside, when he walked, shimmered either red or green. When he stood still, it returned to its original colour; grey. Harry raised a brow at Madam Malkin, silently asking the question.

She gave a proud smile. "It reacts to your innate nature. I modelled the colours off of the house colours from Hogwarts. You are obviously very cunning and very courageous."

Harry narrowed his eyes at her for a second, and his aura flared accidentally. _Was she intimating that she knows that the Sorting Hat had almost put me in Slytherin? _Madam Malkin took a step back, then exhaled in relief as Harry relaxed completely.

"How much for the cloak?" Tonks asked, trying to dissipate the remaining tension.

"Well, it'll be expensive when I market it. That cloak that Mr. Potter is wearing is a prototype of sorts. So, you can keep that cloak for one hundred galleons, but I expect you to send me some letters detailing some feedback about its performance." Her voice was still nervous and she glanced warily at Harry.

He gave an apologetic nod. "Of course," he said, his voice once again pleasant. He moved to pull out some money from his pockets when Tonks protested.

"Remember, Harry. It's your birthday! _I'm _buying the cloak." Harry scowled again.

"Fine," he sighed.

Madam Malkin wrapped up the cloak and they headed back out to the front of the store. Harry noticed that there were now four girls giggling and pointing at him. His gaze stayed on them steadily for a moment or two, and then passed on. He didn't blush, and felt slightly impressed with himself. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Madam Malkin whispering to Tonks.

Tonks purchased the robe and she and Harry exited the store. "How bout some lunch, Harry?"

"Sure, Tonks."

The Leaky Cauldron was sparsely populated when they arrived, and Tom rushed over to take their orders. Harry and Tonks enjoyed a meal of butterbeer and fish and chips.

"You know, Tonks, I think one hundred galleons was a bit too much for a birthday present," Harry grumbled.

"You can work it off with sex later on."

Harry looked pleased for a second, then hesitant. "I still think it's too much," he mumbled.

"Yeah? Well, I don't. Remember, Harry, we've been inside each other's heads. We know each other's most intimate secrets. I know _exactly _how many birthday presents you received when you were younger."

Harry scowled at the reminder of his useless relatives. But he let it go. He could tell that this was something Tonks really wanted.

"Fine. Then I _suppose_ I could let you tell the press you slept with the Boy-Who-Lived, so you could have your fifteen minutes." Harry daintily examined his fingernails, as though he'd just given someone the greatest gift ever.

Tonks burst out into loud peels of laughter. "I see you're getting adjusted to your fame and all the attention, huh Harry?"

Harry was suddenly quieter, and Tonks knew he was still very uncomfortable with it all, but he was burying it all inside his occluded mind. "Yeah, well, gotta do it sooner or later."

Tonks smirked. "So, I saw those girls in Madam Malkins checking you out, lover."

Harry growled when he heard what she said, then paused and smiled as she spoke her final word. _Lover,_ he thought. _That sounds… nice._

"I also saw how much you didn't blush, Harry."

"Yeah, I felt kinda proud of myself for that."

"Well, we've still gotta toughen you up, my friend. You'll have all the girls rubbing up against you at school. Quite possibly some very blatant sexual propositions too."

"How much more blatant can you get than rubbing your body against someone?"

Tonks smirked and Harry knew he wouldn't like the answer. She leaned over, whispering right in his ear. "Harry," she purred, "I want you to pick me up, right now, and fuck me against the wall."

Harry blushed harshly, and his second-hand jeans were suddenly feeling very strained. He ducked his head and continued eating in silence. Tonks, with a smile, decided to let him calm down.

Eventually, Tonks told him that they should get back to Privet Drive.

Harry just sat there, staring out the window. "Tonks," he finally said.

"Yeah, Harry?"

He hesitated, then plunged on. "Where can I get a tattoo?"

Tonks blinked at such a random subject. "Erm… well, there's a place in Knockturn Alley, but I don't think you should get a tattoo, Harry."

Harry gave a small smile. "I think I should," he murmured. "I want to get a tattoo of a stag with a lily in its mouth, and a tattoo of a large grim, and a tattoo of a werewolf."

Tonks sat there with her mouth open, wondering where all this had come from. "Erm…"

Harry's small smile turned sad. "My mum is the lily, my dad is the stag, Padfoot's the grim, and Moony's the wolf."

Tonks' expression softened, but she was still hesitant. She bit her lip. "I don't know Harry. Maybe we could come back another day."

"No," Harry denied. "It can't be another day. It's got to be today. I don't know why." At Tonks' inquisitive look, he explained as best he could. "It's just… a feeling I've got. I don't know how to explain it. But, if I get them anytime after my sixteenth birthday, then they'll be meaningless. I don't know why or how, but that's the way it is."

Tonks let out a sigh. "Okay, Harry, we can do that. But I'm clearing out when Molly finds out. She'll kill me. And if there's any sign of trouble, no matter how small, we're out of there. Got it?"

Harry nodded gratefully and stood up.

----

Tonks had led Harry to a place in Knockturn Alley called _Odds and Endz_. It looked like a beauty salon, except you know, dark, and dreary, and all-together not a place he'd like to go. But still, something was pushing him in this direction, and he felt like he couldn't ignore it.

He pushed open the door and Tonks followed him. Harry saw one person having their hair cut. He did a double take and noticed it was done with scissors and clippers; the muggle way! _Random_, he thought. His observations were broken as a man came up to him. He was large, beefy, and, Harry thought, totally clichéd for a tattoo parlour.

"Somethin' I can help you with, kid?"

Harry raised his chin and straightened his shoulders. "Need a tattoo."

The man grunted, then turned around beckoning for Harry to follow him.

It was over two hours later that he came out of the backroom. After half an hour Tonks had tried to barge in, and Harry had yelled at her to promptly 'get the fuck out'. She had then taken to pacing back and forth for the better part of the next hour and a half, waiting impatiently.

Harry walked out, occasionally grimacing in pain, but with a satisfied smile on his face.

"What the hell took you so long?!" Tonks demanded. "I was going spare!"

"I got four tattoos, Tonks. It wasn't a single tattoo, and therefore it takes more time."

"Don't get smart with me! Jesus, I thought you'd been abducted or something!"

Harry could see that the waiting had really stressed Tonks out. She had obviously been really worried about him.

"I'm sorry, Tonks," Harry said with an apologetic smile. "I didn't know it was going to take that long. I'm glad you waited, and didn't go nuts or call Dumbledore or something."

Tonks glowered at him. "Probably should've," she muttered darkly. Then her expression softened and she gave a dramatic sigh. "Come on then, Harry. Let's get out of here."

Harry paid the man, collected Tonks and together they stepped outside. Tonks took a hold of his arm and they disappeared with a pop.

----

They appeared back at Privet Drive with only a single bag. Normally when he came back from Diagon Alley, Harry had a whole trunk full of new books and stuff. _I guess I'll have to go again closer to September. _

Harry slumped on his bed, and Tonks plopped down next to him. "Hey, Tonks."

"Yeah?"

"What was Madam Malkin whispering at you?"

"Oh, well, contrary to your beliefs, she has added a few charms to your cloak. It will react to your innate nature, and she added warming charms, and impervious charms, so things won't spill. And there's also automatic cleaning charms, and a few other things."

"Oh. Cool. I thought for a second she was giving you a lecture about us hooking up."

"No, she wasn't." Tonks took on a thoughtful look. "Although, if it becomes public knowledge, then a lot of people are going to have opinions."

Harry snorted. "A lot of people? Try _everyone._ Bloody nosy gits."

"Hey, _I_ used to be a nosy git. I used to read up about any and all news about you."

Harry raised an eyebrow in disbelief, then just shrugged. "Whatever."

"So when do I get to see these tattoos, lover?"

Harry gave a cheeky smile. "Not for awhile. I've gotta leave bandages on them for twenty four hours. So, not until tomorrow."

Tonks pouted, then relaxed, moving closer to Harry on the bed.

The silence resumed for a while, and Harry felt relaxed. His mind was calm and soothed. Listening to Tonks breathing was surprisingly therapeutic. After about fifteen minutes, Harry spoke. "So what's happening for the rest of the day?"

Tonks took a minute before answering. "Well, you've got the rest of the afternoon with me, and then we're heading to Grimmauld Place for the night. I know you don't really want to go there, but Dumbledore wants to see you."

Harry let out a sigh. It was true; he didn't want to go to Grimmauld Place. All the memories of Sirius would just be too fresh there. Harry would wander through the halls, expecting the shaggy haired mutt to come around the next corner and start yelling for Kreacher. Of course, Sirius was _dead_, so when Harry next saw Kreacher he wouldn't be yelling; Kreacher would be dead too. "Why can't I talk to Dumbledore here?"

"Dunno. He just said he wants me to bring you to HQ."

Another sigh from the Boy-Who-Lived. "It won't do me any good to act like a spoilt child and tell him I don't want to go, will it?"

Tonks grinned. "Probably not. Besides," she turned to Harry, "I don't shag childen."

Harry let out a bark of laughter before Tonks jumped him, pressing her lips firmly to his.

----

Harry materialised in a pillar of flame as he arrived at Grimmauld Place. Honoria had brought him straight into Buckbeak's room. The hippogriff, temporarily startled, looked warily at Harry and his companion.

"Hello Buckbeak," Harry murmured quietly. He took a step forward and bowed, waiting for Buckbeak to reciprocate. The hippogriff did, then purred as Harry moved forward and stroked its feathers. "I'll bet you miss Sirius almost as much as me, don't you boy?"

Buckbeak kept purring.

Harry looked around the room, noticing how worn the walls were, how dirty and unkept everything was. Sirius had been trapped in this place. This room, this house. He'd liked playing with Buckbeak, feeding him rats, probably wishing one of them was Wormtail. But Sirius was gone now; Harry had to let him go. "You're free now, Padfoot," Harry whispered. "You and Prongs can ride again."

Sad phoenix song filled the room, quietly rendering Harry some comfort. The phoenix lament continued for a minute or two, before dropping off slowly.

Harry moved to the door, then turned for one last look about Sirius' favourite room. "Be at peace," he whispered reverently. Honoria gave one final cry of sorrow and then disappeared in a green flash. Harry opened the door and moved out. Heading downstairs, he opened the kitchen door. Just like last year when he arrived, there was a loud shriek before Harry found his vision obscured by even bushier hair. He felt something collide hard with him, something smashed into his chin and with a grunt he collapsed onto his back, the thing still latched onto him.

Harry blinked as black dots threatened his vision. His head had smacked hard on the floor. Voices were now screaming his name as he slowly reached up and felt the back of his head. "Ow," was all he managed. The weight was lifted off him and he blinked as someone started shaking him, still calling his name. His eyes finally cleared enough to make out a shape he'd spent the afternoon worshipping. "Tonks," he whispered. "What the hell hit me?"

Tonks ignored him, waving her wand over his body as Molly Weasley rushed over to help. Harry heard someone crying in the background and his eyes focused on Hermione Granger's tearful form. _Right, she hit me… why did she hit me?_ Something poked his head and he instantly felt better, a dull pain the only evidence that any such event had taken place. Gingerly testing his limbs, he allowed Tonks to help him up. He leaned on her as he hesitantly surveyed the room.

There was the majority of the Weasley clan, Remus, Hermione, Tonks, Mad-Eye, Kingsley and… _Fleur_? Hermione was sniffling quietly, her eyes downcast. Everyone else was looking expectantly at Harry, some with smiles, others with calculating gazes (Mrs Weasley was no doubt checking to see if he had eaten enough over the last few weeks).

Harry's first action was to reach up and rub his head, then his chin. "Ow," he said again. Ron gave a guffaw at Harry's movements. After all, Harry never really was a talkative one. "Alright mate?" he said, coming over to (more gently than normal) slap Harry on the back.

"Yeah, alright. Just got a sore head," Harry murmured.

Hermione took hesitant steps forward. "Harry, I'm _so _sorry! I was just so happy to see you, I didn't think about what I was doing. Oh, I'm so sorry, please, I – "

"It's fine," Harry interrupted, his voice softly spoken. "Just… be gentler next time, or don't do it again." There was no censure in his voice, no indication that he was angry in any way, yet Hermione still flinched. However, she was happy enough that he'd forgiven her that she just nodded her head eagerly.

Another voice spoke, this one much more cheerful. Well, a pair of voices, really. "Well Harry, our esteemed backer – "

" – you're looking mighty comfortable there – "

" – snuggled up to Tonks – "

" – all cozy like – "

" – is there anything we should know?"

Harry gave a soft smile and ignored the question. "It's good to see everyone."

"But Harrikins," they pressed on, "you and Tonks!"

Harry raised a brow and tilted his head. "Me and Tonks?" He looked at her at length, objectively studying her, then he turned back to the waiting crowd. "Oh, yeah, we've been shaggin'."

There was instant pandemonium. The twins abruptly got up and prostrated themselves infront of Harry, proclaiming his godly-status. Hermione and Ginny gasped. Ron goggled at them. Harry noticed a flash of pain across Remus' face for an instant before it was gone. Molly Weasley was by far the most vocal. Her screams and denials raged for a good minute or two before she finally demanded an explanation. Abruptly, the pandemonium stopped, and utter silence reined; everyone was waiting to hear Harry spoke.

"Yeah. You might not believe me, but we've been shagging like rabbits. Nearly five years now. You see," he enjoyed the comedic looks of disbelief and bewilderment, "when I found out I was a famous wizard at age eleven, I called around. Went through half the phonebook, searching for other wizards like me. Called everyone. Eventually came across Tonks and her family and we've been shagging for nearly five years now."

Tonks was nodding along eagerly, playing the story up. "Best sex ever." It was at this time that she, Harry, Ginny and the twins burst out into ridiculous laughter. Tonks lost her balance, her face red, and dragged Harry down with her as he pounded the floor, trying to breathe enough to laugh some more.

Eventually it all quieted down and everyone heard Molly's sighs of relief as she sat down, clutching her heart, berating Harry for scaring her so much.

"Well," Harry spoke up to the room in general, "It might happen one day." He threw a wink at Tonks, who was only now standing back up.

Hermione gasped again. "Harry," she scolded, "when did you get so, so… flirty?"

Harry moved and put an arm around her shoulder. "What? Don't like it?"

He noticed Ron seething slightly behind him. Harry turned and winked at him too. "Don't worry mate, I won't steal her from you."

Ron sputtered, his face colouring as he tried to deny his attraction to the bushy haired witch next to Harry.

She, however, was scowling. "I'm not his for you to steal from, Harry! And what's happened to you?! After everything with Sirius – "

The reaction was predictable. Harry unlooped his arm from around her shoulders and stepped back. His face, especially his eyes were completely empty as he stared over her shoulder at the wall. "I'm hungry," he interrupted in a flat voice.

Everyone took the hint, bustling around to present plates of food and drink to him. Well, everyone except Hermione; and like always, she pressed on bossily. "But Harry, we need to talk about Sirius. You didn't say anything about it in your letter about how you're coping. You _need_ to talk about it! You can't keep bottling it up inside! You – "

Her speech was stopped as Ron clamped a hand over mouth very tightly. Tonks was watching the drama from the a spot next to Remus, shaking her head. Harry finally turned his empty eyes from the wall. They met Hermione's and she felt sadness grip her. There was nothing there. "We're done here," Harry said with finality. Then he turned around and walked away, heading back upstairs.

Tonks followed, leaving a silent room full of people.

Ron turned on Hermione. "Damnit, Hermione! We talked about this! You know Harry'll never want to talk about it! Why can't you let it go?!"

"So what?!" she demanded. "We let him wallow in grief and self pity?! And don't swear at me, Ronald Bilius Weasley!"

Ron winced at the use of his middle name while Fred and George began cackling. Molly began making more food. "Well," she said, "we'll just wait for him to come back down, and then we'll have the party, just like planned. The poor dear. He really loved Sirius."

Mad-Eye, Kingsley and Remus had taken to conferring in the corner. "Boy looks better," Mad-Eye said gruffly. "Well fed."

Kingsley nodded sagely, his voice deep and soothing. "Looks like the muggles took our warning to heart."

Remus sighed sadly. "Wouldn't be too sure of that. I think Dumbledore's had Dobby the house elf around there, supplying Harry with extra food and such."

"Ruddy muggles," Mad-Eye grouched. "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"

Meanwhile, Fleur had waited a few minutes before following Tonks upstairs. She found them in Buckbeak's room, sitting on the floor, leaning against each other, talking peacefully.

"Eet was a bold play," she said, stepping fully into the room.

Tonks jerked her head around to stare at Fleur; Harry didn't move. He'd sensed her coming, heard the door open. His training with Albus was paying off. "What was?" he asked.

Fleur smiled beautifically. "Pretending to be lovairs. Zey may not 'ave guessed ze truz."

Harry raised a brow while Tonks looked panicked. "How do you know?!" she demanded.

"Well, you're reaction downstairs gave eet away. When 'Arry zed you 'ad been shaggeeng. You turned red, like ze youngest Weazley does when I am een ze room. And zen zere's my veela senses, wheech indicated a sexual tenzion between you two."

Harry gave a chuckle. "Yeah, Ron does tend to embarrass himself whenever you're around, doesn't he."

Fleur gave a soft tinkling laugh that Harry couldn't help but like. It set him at ease. Then Fleur spoke to Tonks. "So," she said, eagerness clearly written on her face, "'ow was 'e?" She continued looking at Tonks but tilted her head at Harry.

Harry realised what she was asking and fought down a blush. He cleared his throat and ducked his head.

Tonks laughed next to him, then reached up and scruffed up his hair. "He was bloody magnificent."

This time the blush did come; Harry couldn't stop it. "I doubt there's any legitimate reason for us to discuss how good of a shag I am," he growled.

Tonks and Fleur both laughed, completely ignoring his statement. "I am glad," Fleur spoke. "Eet would not do for ze Boy-Who-Leeved to be bad een bed." She waited another few seconds before asking, "Eet was your first time, oui, 'Arry?"

Harry's face burned fiercely. He gave a very reluctant nod.

Fleur turned back to Tonks. "'E deedn't come early?"

"Oh, my god!" Harry blurted. "I _cannot_ believe you just asked that!"

"Actually," Tonks spoke up, "she makes a good point. You didn't come early, and yet it was your first time. And I know there was a lot of alcohol, but you were still nervous as hell." She raised an blonde eyebrow. "Care to explain?"

"Its – I… I was… I used Occlumency alright?! To help, you know, control it or whatever."

Tonks giggled and Fleur gave a sad sigh. "Ah… eef only most men could control zemselves like 'ou, 'Arry."

Harry growled again, but Fleur continued speaking. "Anyway 'Arry, let's go back downstairs. I am 'ungry! Come on, Nympheedora." Then she swept out of the room.

Harry stopped blushing he and Tonks shared an amused glance, then got up and followed her downstairs. By the time they entered the kitchen, Harry had his temper and emotions under firm control.

----

Harry was sitting at the kitchen table, a small smile gracing his handsome face. It was nearing midnight and his party was raging around him; everyone was cheerful, laughing, having fun. He only wished Sirius was still here. He took another swig from his glass. He was drinking Firewhiskey, a practice that Mrs Weasley had tried to rid him of. Remus had stuck up for him however, and now the adults around him were joining him in a drink. Ron had complained bitterly about how Harry got to drink alcohol while he couldn't. Everyone else, including the twins, was drinking butterbeer.

Empty food plates were laid out on the table and a bunch of unopened presents were stacked down the end. Harry was still uncomfortable with receiving gifts from people, but he liked the idea behind it. The idea that someone liked you enough to spend money on you. To the people around him, this was probably something they took for granted, but Harry had always found it a strange concept. _Comes with growing up with the Dursleys; bloody pricks!_

Hermione was currently trying to talk to Harry; he wasn't really paying that much attention. "Harry, listen to me. I know its painful, but you have to talk about it, you can't – "

"Hermione," he interrupted in a terribly soft voice. "I do not wish to talk about it."

"But, Harry – "

Harry got up and moved around the table, wondering through all the guests. Ron, Ginny and the twins were talking emphatically about quidditch and pranks; Kingsley, Molly and Arthur were conversing about the state of the government in the time of war. Harry continued his wondering until he entered a conversation with Remus, Tonks and Mad-Eye. "So Harry," Tonks said, "got any special plans for your birthday tomorrow?"

Harry flashed a grin. "Well, since we've been shagging for five years, we might as well continue tomorrow night." Tonks choked on her drink as the rest of the group shared a laugh. Harry downed another mouthful of his drink.

"Harry," Remus said softly, something like sorrow in his voice. "I hate to bring it up, especially at a time like this, but… Sirius' will-reading is the day after tomorrow, at Gringotts. You and I and Tonks have to attend."

Harry was quiet for a minute, contemplating. "It's alright, Moony," he said at length. "I've known this was coming for a while now."

An uncomfortable silence suddenly came between Harry and Remus. It was broken when Mad-Eye suddenly spoke up. "Got a present for you, lad," he said, producing a package from somewhere behind his back.

Harry hesitantly accepted the package. "Thanks, Mad-Eye," he murmured shyly. He placed it on the table with all the rest of his presents.

"Well, open it boy! Don't leave it for anyone to find! That's how things go pear-shaped!"

"What things have you ever seen go pear-shaped, Mad-Eye? Besides pears?" Tonks asked.

"He raises a good point," Moony said with a mischievous grin. "Time to open presents, Harry."

Harry groaned at Moony's raised voice. He'd spoken louder and now everyone was crowding around Harry and his stack of presents. Remus forced Harry down into a chair and passed him Mad-Eye's gift. Harry sighed and unwrapped it. A book fell into his hands. Harry raised a brow and opened the book, scanning quickly through the pages. "Is this what I think it is?" he asked sharply, raising his head.

Mad-Eye Moody grinned. "Sure is lad. Heard you wanted to join the Auror Corp. Figured that might give you a head start."

Harry nodded and looked down at the scrappy book. It contained the majority of Moody's Auror strategies and spells, as well as data on current, past and suspected Death Eaters. "Thank you," he said sincerely. "This will be very useful."

Harry then proceeded to unwrap the rest of his presents. The twins gave him a mischief starter pack from their shop. Ron's gift was, predictably, a Chudley Cannons poster and cap. The rest of the Weasleys had banded together and bought him a dragon-hide wand holster. Harry was very appreciative of that gift. Remus had brought Harry a new guitar. This drew a lot of queries from Ron and Arthur as to just what a guitar was and did. Kingsley explained that he'd added some contributions to Moody's gift. Fleur gave him a Charms book, although Harry couldn't figure out why. When he asked, she just winked, causing Harry to nod, and Ron to flush and stammer.

Harry opened Hermione's gift and froze. It was a book, obviously. But it was the title of the book that caught his attention. _Human Psychology 101: Dealing With Grief_. Harry looked briefly at Hermione, then put the book down far away from himself and ignored it. "Thank you," came his polite speech.

Frigid tension filled the room, thankfully broken by the opening of the kitchen door. Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonogall walked in, both smiling. Well, Albus was smiling, his eyes twinkling. Professor McGonogall was trying to stretch her lips into what might have passed as a smile.

"Evening, Potter," she spoke. "And happy birthday."

Harry nodded to her with a small smile. "Thank you, Professor."

Dumbledore walked up to Harry and put a hand on his shoulder. "Hello, Harry."

Harry gave a friendly smile. "Albus."

Shocked gasps erupted around the room. Mrs Weasley scowled disapprovingly at Harry's use of Dumbledore's given name. Ron goggled once again at Harry, although this time not for claiming he was sleeping with Tonks. Hermione immediately launched into a lecture about showing proper respect.

"Harry James Potter! What's the matter with you! You don't address the Headmaster by his first name! Where are your manners?! You're lucky he doesn't give you det – "

Hermione's rave was interrupted by a chuckle from the Headmaster. "It's quite alright, Miss Granger. I asked Harry to address me in such a way many weeks ago, during one of his training sessions."

"Oh! I completely forgot! Harry! You haven't told us about your training yet!"

Harry ignored her and looked at Albus. "What are you doing here?" More gasps rang around the room, and most people thought this an incredibly rude question.

Albus however, just twinkled those thrice-damned eyes. "Ah, well there are a few purposes to this visit, my friend. The first, I'm sorry to say, is about Sirius. His will reading will be held – "

"I know."

Albus bowed his head in acknowledgement. "The other two purposes are far more joyous. One is to give you a birthday present. And the other is dependent upon you, and must wait until it truly is your birthday."

Harry tilted his head questioningly, but knew better to ask. The Headmaster liked his riddles, after all. "Okay," he said instead, his confusion evident in his voice.

"Excellent. Now, young Harry, here is your gift. I believe it may come in very useful." He reached in a pulled something out of his pocket, placing it on the table. Then, tapping it with his wand, the whole room watched as the item slowly began growing to its original size. A beautiful porcelain bowl now sat on the table. Golden runes were arrayed around the edges.

"What is it?" Ron asked dumbly.

"It's a pensieve," Harry murmured. Harry slowly reached out a hand and reverently traced one of the runes. A bright gold spark flashed where his fingers touched the pensieve and he felt a tingle run up his arm. Harry looked questioningly at Dumbledore.

"The pensieve has just formed a bond with you, Harry. Now, only you and those you designate can use the pensieve without suffering severe consequences."

"Excellent!" Ron exclaimed excitedly. "Now we can put memories of Snape in there and watch him get pranked and stuff a million times over and over again!"

Hermione frowned, then brightened. "_Professor_ Snape, Ron! Oh, this is great Harry! Now you can show us your memories! We can see - "

"I'm not showing you my memories, Hermione."

Molly was scolding her son. Tonks and Remus grinned appreciatively at Ron's comment. It was Hermione's idea however that prompted Harry's next action. He picked up the book that Fleur had given him on charms. He was rifling through pages when he suddenly smiled, a satisfied look on his face. He eagerly read a passage from the book, then pulled his wand out of his pocket. Ignoring everyone's gasp at his wand, he pointed it at the pensieve and spoke. "_**Absigmum.**_" A blue light flashed around the pensieve, and Harry spoke again. This time, however, it was not in Latin, it was in the hissing tongue of serpents. **/s/ **_Padfoot and Prongs ride again! _**/s/**

Everyone flinched as they heard him speaking Parseltongue. Harry gave a satisfied smile. "There we go. The password is set."

"Password?!" Ron demanded. "You set the password to snake-talk? How the hell am I supposed to use it now?!"

Harry looked up with a completely composed expression, nothing showing on his face. "That's the point. You can't." Ron gawked at him as he looked around the room, meeting everyone's eyes. "No one can."

He noticed Ron and Hermione sharing a conspiratorial look.

Remus, thank merlin, spoke up in the awkward silence (seem to be a lot of them). "Harry, what about your gift from Tonks? Haven't opened it yet."

Harry gave Remus an appreciative look for covering the moment. "I already know what it is, Moony. I was there when she bought it for me."

"Well, open it anyway."

Harry shrugged and reached for Tonks' gift. Then he froze.

_It's time, young one…_

"Who said that?" he asked, looking around the room.

Everyone looked confused. It was Ginny who spoke up. "Said what, Harry?"

"Someone just said 'it's time' to me."

"No one spoke, Harry. We were all watching you open your present."

Harry frowned and slowly stood up. _Somebody spoke to me,_ he insisted to himself. _I've heard that voice before._

Harry's thoughts on the matter were put on hold as his head suddenly throbbed. "Ouch," he hissed. His left hand moved up, cupping his head, trying to dull the pain. It wasn't his scar. _What the hell's going on?!_

Darkness was invading his vision and he strained to fight it. He dimly saw Honoria flash in front of him, crooning a soothing song to him. He heard, as if through a solid foot of concrete, someone calling his name. His last thought before he fell into darkness was that he wished Sirius was there.

Just before he completely blacked out, the voice spoke again, from the surrounding darkness.

_You are not only Tom Riddle's Chosen One, young one…_

----

A/N: Okay, I didn't like how this chapter came out. Just doesn't sit right with me, and I might change it at a later date, but couldn't be fucked at the moment, so meh. Really just filler anyway, I guess.

Anyway, I've been trying to portray Hermione in a light where she's trying to get Harry to open up about Sirius and his childhood and all his problems. I think that's obvious, but what I failed to make obvious is that she _does_ care for Harry. She just believes that the only way for him to heal is for him to talk to _her._ She's used to being the person he comes to with problems, and that'll change in this story. By trying to get him to open up, she'll inadvertently push him further away each time. I took the idea from a story by **fakeasmile** called **Taking Control**. Good story, btw.

So, yeah, Hermione's pushing Harry too hard. Meanwhile, Ron'll be the opposite. He figures Harry will never want to talk about Sirius, so he doesn't talk about it. He's fine with that. He'll also be busy trying to contain his jealousy in the first half of the school year. So, essentially, Harry will be rather short of confidantes, and it'll eventually push him to do something he never ever thought he would. But that's something I don't want to give away (evil grin).

So, the story might be a bit dry atm, so bear with me. Oh, and the tattoos will have meaning later on in the story. **Please R&R!**


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